[IAmTheGlue]

We have a big family. We have a lot of pets (including a pot belly pig). We need 4 bedrooms at least. We cannot just live anywhere. Our housing needs are specific.

We bought this house on contract a year ago. It is way out in the country. We can walk away from it without losing much but the down payment. We LOVE the house… the location, not so much. We live on a private road & our neighbors are crazy (like one has a speedboat full of stuffed animals in their yard kind of crazy) and a not only one hand painted, full sheet of plywood no trespassing (or else!) sign, but about 5 smaller rant signs tacked up everywhere too.

My husband just got a job (thank God!) but it is about an hour away. My Mom lives about 15-20 minutes from my husband’s work & about 40 minutes from us. Just saying if we moved, it would be more convenient.
My Mom is 68 and in moderate health. She has bad knees (they give out randomly which has caused her to fall before). She CANNOT maintain their property alone. She can barely walk some days. I just want to be there to help my mom.

I have regrets about buying this house MOSTLY because, when we moved, I had my eye on the house next door to my parents. I thought if we moved there, I could help my Dad with his garden, mowing grass etc. He passed away last summer & I, to this day, carry guilt. I always wonder if I were there, right next door, when she found him, would things have turned out differently…

The house next door to my Mom (it is about 1/4 mile down the road, but it is her next neighbor) is not advertised for rent, nor on the market. It has been vacant for almost a year after the owner died but his son still comes out every week to mow the couple acres of grass. We went and peeked in the windows & it is mostly empty.

So… why do I not call him today? It is an old farm house. It would be a huge step down from where we are living. The son may not be willing to let go either. I don’t want to offend him. Also, I don’t want to put the idea in his head. I would feel bad if I asked him and if we don’t have enough money right now and he turns around & rents/sells it to someone else.

Anyway, if you were in my shoes, would you call him & ask about the house? Or would you just forget about it and stay in the house you love but KNOW you are too far away to be of much help if your Mom really needs it, as in an emergency, let alone to help with the day to day stuff very often?

[nelie]

What do you mean you bought it on contract?

Would it be possible for you to move closer to your mom without living next door? If your mom can't maintain her property by herself, maybe it is time to talk to her about selling and possibly moving in with you?

[IAmTheGlue]

Buying a house on contract is basically a contract between you and another person instead of going through a bank. We put so much money down & we pay him directly each month. We pay the taxes & insurance. But if we walk away from the house, it just reverts back to him & he resells it. He is a well known businessman and has like 30 properties he does this with and he rents out like 10. Our house is 9 years old and beautiful, it just is so far away from everything. If I could pick up our house and put on the property next door that would be better. lol

She keeps saying that she does not want to move but I would like to keep better tabs on her. I am worried about her mainly because she is doing stuff she should not be doing and I am afraid she will get hurt. My Dad spent his life making sure she was set up. She owns her house/property outright and I have suggested selling it (she has 3 acres of land to mow). She could sell her property & have enough money to buy a small house in town and own it outright, too.

She lives in a rural area, like we do. There are just not that many houses out there & not any others I have seen for rent/sale. There is a town like 10 minutes away, but it is not likely that we can have our pet pig there. It really feels like this house is one of the only options for moving closer.

[TheWanderer]

Go for it. All he can say is, no. If you don't give it a try, you'll never know.

Don't be to hasty to try and get your mom to sell or move in with you. I'm 74 and have bad knees too. Real bad. I moved to Arizona, even though I own a large ranch in California with a home that is close to my daughter. It isn't where I want to live right now. I'm not ready to give up my independence and maybe your mother isn't either. I could sell my property and travel the world, but that isn't my choice.

If you want to live near her, do something about it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[nelie]

Another option is hired help which is what my grandmother does. Some guys come and do her yard work on a weekly basis.

[elvislover324]

Does your contract with this businessman have any penalties in it if you walk away? I can't imagine a seasoned business man just lets you walk away scott-free and moves on...

[IAmTheGlue]

Thank you all for your thoughts. I really am trying to sort this out in my head.

Originally Posted by TheWanderer

... I'm not ready to give up my independence and maybe your mother isn't either. I could sell my property and travel the world, but that isn't my choice.

If you want to live near her, do something about it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I think this is it. I understand perfectly that she does not want to give up her independence. I don't blame her. I don't want her to move in here, I want to help her stay in her home as long as she can. I just love my Mom. We text all day, every day. I don't want to move next door & drive her nuts, either.

My great grandmother lived to be 104 & lived alone. My mom is welcome here, don't get me wrong, but I understand that leaving your home is a big, huge deal. I'm actually taking a class right now, The Psychology of Aging and loss of independence is one of the biggest issues that anyone deals with when they age.

Originally Posted by nelie

Another option is hired help which is what my grandmother does. Some guys come and do her yard work on a weekly basis.

That is a good option, too. My husband does all of her home maintenance like when something breaks. But when my husband was in Iraq the last time, I just paid a lawn service to come take care of my yard work. I bet it would be pricy considering how big her lawn is though.

Originally Posted by elvislover324

Does your contract with this businessman have any penalties in it if you walk away? I can't imagine a seasoned business man just lets you walk away scott-free and moves on...

Actually, the penalty is that you don't get to sell the house or get any of your money back until you have paid 33% of the home's value, it just reverts to him. I mean, the people before us paid a $5,000 down payment and moved out in 3 months. We paid the same down payment, we pay the taxes, insurance and we pay him a monthly mortgage payment. What he is doing is like rent to own. He is winning this way. It makes sense because people take good care of what they own. We put down almost $2000 in slate tile (not the labor, just the tile) in the living room less than 6 months ago which we would just have put money into his house if we walk away. Should we stay, we are getting ready to put a 3rd bathroom in upstairs. If we leave in 2 years or 5 years, the upgrades we make are just bonus.

[Missy Krissy]

I really don't see any harm in simply inquiring about the empty house. Keep your eyes and ears open - there may be other options that come along as well.