[nolightz]

Hey all,

I've been dealing with major depressive disorder for a few years now, and recently things have gotten really rocky for me.

Really long story cut short, I feel like my depression is largely caused by my weight. I take medicine for my chemical imbalance, and I also see a therapist who is trying to work with me on my self confidence, and resentment issues. But I feel like most of that is useless if I don't loose all of the flab baggage.

In my head, it goes like this:

lose weight ---> gain self confidence ---> be able to accept myself ----> be healthy, and HAPPY

So of course you would think, well, loose the weight then! But the biggest downer in my depression is my motivation. Most of the time, it is not there, and it is hard for me to get anything done. I cry when I have to go to work, I cry because I have class, I can't concentrate, and I feel like I'm not smart enough to accomplish what it is I want to do. My room starts to look a HOT mess; clothes everywhere, trash bin overflowing, mail scattered all over the place. And then I start to feel lower because I know this is not who I am, and not who I want to be anymore.

I was wondering if there was anyone here that's ever felt like this, dealt with this, and has an advice on how they overcame it, and grabbed onto that motivation? What pushed you to take action?

And maybe if there's anyone out there who deals with depression that wants to talk about it, but can't find anyone who understands what it feels like to be so unbalanced.

[cantstopgaining]

I know exactly how you feel. I take Citalopram and Wellbutrin for my anxiety. I was always slender until the past year, when I basically exploded into what I would call "chubby".

At the moment, I'm in the "overwhelmed" mood you described. Unfortunately I do not have a support system and I'm supporting an entire family. My house is completely wrecked. I work all day so I have no time for myself. And I have lupus, which makes cleaning/working out totally exhausting.

I always seem to overcome this mood by writing down one small goal. It can be something like, "put dishes in dishwasher". Then I force myself to do it. The more tiny goals I accomplish, the more it seems I'm able to pull myself from the fog.

Unfortunately I'm at my heaviest weight ever, and I'm having a harder time than normal getting motivated when all I really want to do is curl up and cry about my weight gain despite my hard work.

[cantstopgaining]

Is there a range of carbs you aim for everyday? I am doing around 120-130 a day and still gaining, as you know. I know my cravings are really bad too when I eat grains...

[workinghardatlosing]

I go through the same thing!

The only that helps me is to take baby steps. For example, recently my house has been this huge mess, and every someone wants to come over I have to spend three hours speed cleaning and if they want to come over right away I had to make up an excuse for why they couldn't I didn't want to keep living like that so I wanted to do something about it. The first week, I made sure I did the dishes every night before bed. There were a couple nights that it didn't happen and I did them as soon as I woke up, no excuses! The next week, I didn't let laundry pile up. It had to be washed, dried and folded right away. The third week it was my daughter's toys. They were to be picked up every night. This week the focus is on sweeping the floors every night.

[nolightz]

@ Can'tstopgaining: I can't even BEGIN to imagine what it's like to feel this way with a family, and juggling regular life work. My heart goes out to you. I have stayed single the last couple of years because I know I don't have the capacity right now to focus on another individual, never mind give them my time and mental energy.

I really like the idea of setting one small goal a day. I think that is what I'm going to have to do. And then try to incorporate those goals into a daily routine. Lord knows I don't have one.

@ Jez: I've done a little bit of research on foods and how it effects mood. There are a couple of good documentaries on netflix about them. One is called hungry for change...the others I'd have to get back to you on. The idea of processed foods being extremely toxic to your body would seem like a pretty obvious thing, but I never realized how harmful they actually could be. I've been cutting back on them, slowly. And I'm currently just trying to find something that works for me.

@ Workinghardtolose:Lol, my mom says it looks like a bomb went off in my room. I live at home, so the door always stays closed. It's actually a bit embarrassing. I'm going to try the daily/weekly goals thing, and see how it goes. Right now it's just a matter of figuring out where to start