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Old 02-26-2013, 09:17 PM   #1  
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Default Online dating sites

I'm going to take the plunge and try online dating, but don't have a clue which ones to use. I know about match.com and eHarmony; are they worthwhile?

What other ones do you suggest? I don't really consider myself a BBW now (at least not physically), but at 183 pounds am I wrong about that?

Any tips would be appreciated. I'm scared to death to do this and face rejection...
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Old 02-26-2013, 09:48 PM   #2  
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It's hard to say whether you're a "BBW" without knowing how you look simply because numbers don't always mean much.

As for the sites themselves, I've always been told that the paid ones are better because who is seriously going to pay for a dating site if all they really want is sex? I'm sure there are some guys who would do it but I suppose I could see them being better than free sites.

I've used POF the most. I guess it's okay but I've run into quite a few duds along the way. Just keep in mind that some of the people on these sites are a real piece of work and be careful.
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:43 PM   #3  
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Out of the free ones, I think Okcupid is much better than POF. THough I haven't had good luck with any of them!

When I did eharmony, I hardly had dates, but when I did, it actually was a good emotional connection!
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Old 02-26-2013, 11:34 PM   #4  
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I met my husband on OkCupid. Also had a few decent dates on there before i met him. I think as long as you set some rules for yourself (catch the red flags before or shortly after you meet) then you will be fine. For me, it wasnt any different than meeting a guy for a first date after you meet in a bar or at a party. Just online, you meet with a clear head (well, maybe a bunch of nerves).

Good luck!
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Old 02-27-2013, 01:02 AM   #5  
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I've never tried an online dating site, but several of my friends have. They use the free ones (plentyoffish and okcupid) and have had both good and bad results. I would say go ahead, try it out, just take your time before meeting them. As for whether or not you're considered a BBW... I'd just say I was curvy

Good luck!
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Old 02-27-2013, 07:32 AM   #6  
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I know a number of couples who are married now that met on eharmony, and one of my co-workers who has tried match.com AND eharmony.com said eharmony people seemed more serious and not creepy compared to match (I personally don't have any experience)
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Old 02-27-2013, 10:47 AM   #7  
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OKCupid is for 20-somethings who want to date and/or hook up

POF is for hookups with scumbags only

eHarmony, match are for people seeking serious relationships.

BBW implies you want to stay that way forever and love your large size and I think DOES NOT apply to 5'8 and 183 (Congrats on the drop btw).
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Old 02-27-2013, 11:06 AM   #8  
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I met my significant other on OKCupid. Neither of us are anywhere near 20 years old nor had any desire for hook-ups. I think the make-up (and intent) of the free sites varies from area to area.

At the same time I was using OKC, I was on Match. I had zero luck on Match, even though it is a paid site, which one would think would have folks serious for a relationship. While I did meet some crazy people on OKC before my love, at least I was meeting people. Match was a complete waste of my money and time (yet I know people who had great success in my area with it).
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Old 02-27-2013, 11:09 AM   #9  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krampus View Post
OKCupid is for 20-somethings who want to date and/or hook up

POF is for hookups with scumbags only

eHarmony, match are for people seeking serious relationships.

BBW implies you want to stay that way forever and love your large size and I think DOES NOT apply to 5'8 and 183 (Congrats on the drop btw).
I agree with all of this and have personally found the paid sites were much more likely to have the type of men I was looking to meet, although I will also agree that it varies by location. So pick one to start with, and if you don't feel like it's working, you can always try a different one in a few months.
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Old 02-27-2013, 11:55 AM   #10  
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I tried eharmony and generally felt that it wasn't for me. Their guided communication wasn't really part of my style for getting to meet people and their "can't stands & must haves" probably turned me off from some decent matches. It's easy to say that you "can't stand" something when you haven't met or spoken to a person. But it's hard for me to get past someone telling me that they can't stand something about me. I have a list of ideal traits for a partner but some of those things might go out the window when we're face to face. That was a huge turn off for me.

I'm on OKCupid now and like the email communication much better. We'll see what happens though.

I also identified as curvy and I'm a lot shorter than you. I put very recent pictures up and have to assume that anyone who contacts me can see what I look like and is ok with it so...

Last edited by ChickieBoom; 02-27-2013 at 11:57 AM.
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Old 02-27-2013, 12:18 PM   #11  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krampus View Post
OKCupid is for 20-somethings who want to date and/or hook up

POF is for hookups with scumbags only

eHarmony, match are for people seeking serious relationships.

BBW implies you want to stay that way forever and love your large size and I think DOES NOT apply to 5'8 and 183 (Congrats on the drop btw).
From what I've heard, I'd disagree about Match. I've heard a LOT of friends say that people on Match were looking for booty calls versus relationships.

I know a lot of people that have mixed results with OkCupid but they seem to like it.
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Old 02-27-2013, 12:55 PM   #12  
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I don't know that you can make blanket statements about these dating sites. I'm sure location plays a huge part in the success that people have as well. If you live in a densely populated area, you're going to have a wider variety of matches.

I'm also not really sure what demographics these sites cater to. I'm still a little leary about the whole online dating business but I'm willing to give it a try because I'm not really sure how else I'm supposed to meet people. One minute you're young, still in school and going out all of the time meeting new people, then you look up and you've settled into a routine without even realizing.
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Old 02-27-2013, 03:50 PM   #13  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krampus View Post
OKCupid is for 20-somethings who want to date and/or hook up

POF is for hookups with scumbags only

eHarmony, match are for people seeking serious relationships.

BBW implies you want to stay that way forever and love your large size and I think DOES NOT apply to 5'8 and 183 (Congrats on the drop btw).
In general, I agree with the above. Of course there will be a few good guys on every site, it just depends how many crap ones you have to weed out before you meet one normal one. I would say with online dating the ratio is about 1:15 or 1:20 (one normal versus 15 jerks!) haha.

What about Lavalife? Is that still going? That's what I used 7 years ago and was in a 7-year relationship but I'm way out of touch now.
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:53 PM   #14  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by krampus View Post
OKCupid is for 20-somethings who want to date and/or hook up

POF is for hookups with scumbags only

eHarmony, match are for people seeking serious relationships.

BBW implies you want to stay that way forever and love your large size and I think DOES NOT apply to 5'8 and 183 (Congrats on the drop btw).
I resent what you said about POF being for scummbags. I happily married my husband and he is far far from a scumbag and he is a complete gentlemen.
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Old 02-27-2013, 04:56 PM   #15  
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Im not going to say that POF was my favorite.. I did have several blind dates...some nice some not..Out of all of them..only 3 were looking for a hookup and not a relationship. I think it matters how you tailor your profile and pictures..If you write very derogatory things that have sexual undertones, you are likely to attract guys with one thing in mind. With that being said..I actually met my husband from POF. He was and still is a complete gentleman. We have been together for 4.5 years and we have a daughter..So.. i think it really depends ..

Ive also known a lot of people have met on E-Harmony and Lava Life
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