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Old 01-24-2013, 03:43 PM   #1  
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Default Just Found Out My Ex is Engaged

I was doing a little Facebook stalking (which I haven't done in almost two years) and I saw that my ex changed his status from 'in a relationship' to 'engaged'. I feel dizzy and nauseous. Rationally I know that we've been broken up for a long time and it's only natural that he moved on. I haven't moved on and now I know I have to. I can't live in the fantasy of us getting back together anymore because he's getting married.

I still love him and I'm happy for him because he seems happy but a little piece of my heart is breaking all over again.
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Old 01-24-2013, 03:51 PM   #2  
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I know that feeling and it's awful, I'm sorry you are going through this today.

There is nothing I can say to make you feel better so I won't try. Just stay strong, as hard as it is.
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Old 01-24-2013, 03:53 PM   #3  
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I know how hard and irrational that is! When I found out my ex moved in with her fiance I was so sad. I still actually am, even though I know we will never be together again.

I'm sorry it hurts. I wish I had advice to ease it.
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Old 01-24-2013, 03:53 PM   #4  
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That stings! I'm very sorry! I do hope this will aid you in moving on. Sometimes just starting the process is so hard.
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Old 01-24-2013, 04:03 PM   #5  
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Aww, that sucks. I was happily engaged and planning my wedding when I found out that an ex got engaged, and it still felt weird. It sounds like the closure might actually be good for you!
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Old 01-24-2013, 04:03 PM   #6  
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I'm sorry - even when you really have mostly moved on, news like this always feels like a bit of a kick in the stomach. Hang in there, it will hurt less in time.
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Old 01-24-2013, 06:12 PM   #7  
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Congratulations to him AND you.

Him, because he is happy and moving forward.

You, because this frees you of the illusion you were clinging to that was keeping you from moving on and being happy with someone else

It hurts, but it IS a good thing.

Last edited by Arctic Mama; 01-24-2013 at 06:13 PM.
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Old 01-24-2013, 09:57 PM   #8  
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Hugs. Even though it really hurts, this is a great opportunity for you to finally let him go. You're a beautiful woman and it's time to open up to the possibility of moving on.
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Old 01-24-2013, 10:01 PM   #9  
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Hugs
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Old 01-24-2013, 10:41 PM   #10  
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Aww man! =( I am sorry! Hopefully one day time will heal all wounds. <3
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Old 01-25-2013, 01:19 AM   #11  
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I am happily married and have been for over 5 years. However, if I found out one of my ex's was getting engaged, I would still feel somewhat sick to my stomach. It is completely silly but also completely normal.

Hopefully, after the initial shock wears off, it will be the push you need to move on.
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Old 01-25-2013, 08:07 AM   #12  
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It's a terrible blow isn't it? I recently found out that my ex has a girlfriend and it sent me into a tailspin of binging! And I'm happily married with a child!! Sometimes love always aches, you made a connection with that person and just because the relationship is over doesn't mean that the connection is gone forever, even if you never speak to him the lingering memory has an effect. It's totally normal, it doesn't mean you're not over him, this is a completely human emotion.
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Old 01-25-2013, 09:03 AM   #13  
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My daughter recently told me that her dad and his girlfriend are engaged. I guess I am not the norm because I didn't feel anything about it one way or another. I guess after I divorced him I focused more on the reasons why he wasn't good for me rather than the reasons he could have been. It helped with the healing process. However, everybody is different and deals with things differently. Have you asked yourself why you were still holding onto hope? It's time to start the healing process and realize that this man obviously was just not the one for you. You will find someone that will make your tummy feel funny for all the right reasons.
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Old 01-25-2013, 10:16 AM   #14  
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Thanks everyone. Rationally I know it's been over for a long time but I haven't wanted to let go. Our relationship was far from perfect and it ended for some very good reasons and I'm aware that I've idealized things since we've been apart.

I do agree that this will be the best thing for me because hope of a reconciliation (no matter how unrealistic) has been blocking me from connecting with someone else. I guess part of me just doesn't believe that it's possible for me to have the depth of feeling I had for him for someone new.

I'm just going to have to reprogram my thought process and focus more on moving on and being happy.

I won't speak about him again.

Last edited by ChickieBoom; 01-25-2013 at 10:20 AM.
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Old 01-25-2013, 06:59 PM   #15  
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Totally understand. Every guy I have been serious about in my life got married to the girl they dated right after me- usually after telling me they weren't ready for that level of commitment. I feel like I'm the practice girlfriend. I know it hurts, and I'm sorry you are going through that. Be kind to yourself and let yourself feel whatever feelings you have, without judgment. Indulge yourself. Go out with girlfriends, go to a spa, whatever. You'll get through this. (((Hugs)))
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