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01-24-2013, 03:43 PM
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#1
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Finally in control.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 785
S/C/G: 294/236/199
Height: 5'4"
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Just Found Out My Ex is Engaged
I was doing a little Facebook stalking (which I haven't done in almost two years) and I saw that my ex changed his status from 'in a relationship' to 'engaged'. I feel dizzy and nauseous. Rationally I know that we've been broken up for a long time and it's only natural that he moved on. I haven't moved on and now I know I have to. I can't live in the fantasy of us getting back together anymore because he's getting married.
I still love him and I'm happy for him because he seems happy but a little piece of my heart is breaking all over again.
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01-24-2013, 03:51 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,689
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I know that feeling and it's awful, I'm sorry you are going through this today.
There is nothing I can say to make you feel better so I won't try. Just stay strong, as hard as it is.
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01-24-2013, 03:53 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 207
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I know how hard and irrational that is! When I found out my ex moved in with her fiance I was so sad. I still actually am, even though I know we will never be together again.
I'm sorry it hurts. I wish I had advice to ease it.
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01-24-2013, 03:53 PM
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#4
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Stephanie
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,221
S/C/G: 236/135-140/More Fit
Height: 5'6"
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That stings! I'm very sorry! I do hope this will aid you in moving on. Sometimes just starting the process is so hard.
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01-24-2013, 04:03 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Kansas
Posts: 897
Height: 5'4"
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Aww, that sucks. I was happily engaged and planning my wedding when I found out that an ex got engaged, and it still felt weird. It sounds like the closure might actually be good for you!
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01-24-2013, 04:03 PM
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#6
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Dukanista
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Denver
Posts: 2,547
S/C/G: high263/current257/ticker/198
Height: 5'7"
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I'm sorry - even when you really have mostly moved on, news like this always feels like a bit of a kick in the stomach. Hang in there, it will hurt less in time.
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01-24-2013, 06:12 PM
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#7
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Back with a story
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,754
S/C/G: 281 / 254 / 160
Height: 5'3" - I got taller!
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Congratulations to him AND you.
Him, because he is happy and moving forward.
You, because this frees you of the illusion you were clinging to that was keeping you from moving on and being happy with someone else
It hurts, but it IS a good thing.
Last edited by Arctic Mama; 01-24-2013 at 06:13 PM.
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01-24-2013, 09:57 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: California, San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 599
S/C/G: 178/See Ticker/140
Height: 5'4"
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Hugs. Even though it really hurts, this is a great opportunity for you to finally let him go. You're a beautiful woman and it's time to open up to the possibility of moving on.
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01-24-2013, 10:01 PM
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#9
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I'm bringing sexy back!
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4,228
S/C/G: 242/234.5/167
Height: 5'5"
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Hugs
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01-24-2013, 10:41 PM
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#10
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Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Indian Trail, North Carolina
Posts: 29
S/C/G: 283/245/200 (for now)
Height: 5'3"
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Aww man! =( I am sorry! Hopefully one day time will heal all wounds. <3
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01-25-2013, 01:19 AM
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#11
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Katrina
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 926
S/C/G: 162/see ticker/130
Height: 5'6
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I am happily married and have been for over 5 years. However, if I found out one of my ex's was getting engaged, I would still feel somewhat sick to my stomach. It is completely silly but also completely normal.
Hopefully, after the initial shock wears off, it will be the push you need to move on.
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01-25-2013, 08:07 AM
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#12
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,607
S/C/G: 215/188/150
Height: 5'4"
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It's a terrible blow isn't it? I recently found out that my ex has a girlfriend and it sent me into a tailspin of binging! And I'm happily married with a child!! Sometimes love always aches, you made a connection with that person and just because the relationship is over doesn't mean that the connection is gone forever, even if you never speak to him the lingering memory has an effect. It's totally normal, it doesn't mean you're not over him, this is a completely human emotion.
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01-25-2013, 09:03 AM
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#13
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Foodie For Life
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 75
S/C/G: 192/ticker/140
Height: 5'6"
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My daughter recently told me that her dad and his girlfriend are engaged. I guess I am not the norm because I didn't feel anything about it one way or another. I guess after I divorced him I focused more on the reasons why he wasn't good for me rather than the reasons he could have been. It helped with the healing process. However, everybody is different and deals with things differently. Have you asked yourself why you were still holding onto hope? It's time to start the healing process and realize that this man obviously was just not the one for you. You will find someone that will make your tummy feel funny for all the right reasons.
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01-25-2013, 10:16 AM
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#14
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Finally in control.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 785
S/C/G: 294/236/199
Height: 5'4"
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Thanks everyone. Rationally I know it's been over for a long time but I haven't wanted to let go. Our relationship was far from perfect and it ended for some very good reasons and I'm aware that I've idealized things since we've been apart.
I do agree that this will be the best thing for me because hope of a reconciliation (no matter how unrealistic) has been blocking me from connecting with someone else. I guess part of me just doesn't believe that it's possible for me to have the depth of feeling I had for him for someone new.
I'm just going to have to reprogram my thought process and focus more on moving on and being happy.
I won't speak about him again.
Last edited by ChickieBoom; 01-25-2013 at 10:20 AM.
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01-25-2013, 06:59 PM
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#15
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Here to Learn
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 3,099
S/C/G: 225/140/135
Height: 5'5"
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Totally understand. Every guy I have been serious about in my life got married to the girl they dated right after me- usually after telling me they weren't ready for that level of commitment. I feel like I'm the practice girlfriend. I know it hurts, and I'm sorry you are going through that. Be kind to yourself and let yourself feel whatever feelings you have, without judgment. Indulge yourself. Go out with girlfriends, go to a spa, whatever. You'll get through this. (((Hugs)))
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