 |
|
12-30-2012, 01:25 AM
|
#1
|
|
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 377
S/C/G: 290/see ticker/180
Height: 5'8
|
Getting in touch with your Body =? MORE Body Hatred
So I've been dieting for a couple of months now and have lost about 20lbs. I started at 292 so I have a long way to go (I am 5'9).
The interesting thing, is that because I am taking care of my body now - I am more in touch with my body. I think that when I am not eating healthily, I am very disconnected from my body (and very much in denial).
Now that I'm more connected, I realize just how fat I am and have MORE self loathing than I had before I started dieting. Anyone else experience this?
I just rationalize that now I AM DOING SOMETHING about it and will see success. It's just weird to all of a sudden just be so disgusted with myself for ever letting myself get to this point. Anyone else feel that way?
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 01:42 AM
|
#2
|
|
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 72
S/C/G: See ticker
Height: 5'8
|
That's so weird. I was JUST feeling that way the other day. I'm actually at the lowest weight i've ever been as an adult, but every time I look in the mirror i'm just so disappointed with what i've let myself become. It's almost like...the better I do...the more i hate myself for not doing it sooner.
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 02:36 AM
|
#3
|
|
Embracing the suck
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: California - East Bay
Posts: 3,185
S/C/G: 300/234/abs
Height: 6'9"
|
I can relate.
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 05:38 AM
|
#4
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 536
S/C/G: 223/130/126
Height: 5ft 5
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by RachelRawr
That's so weird. I was JUST feeling that way the other day. I'm actually at the lowest weight i've ever been as an adult, but every time I look in the mirror i'm just so disappointed with what i've let myself become. It's almost like...the better I do...the more i hate myself for not doing it sooner.
|
Me too - I definitely feel this.
It's hard to come to the realisation that we've let weeks/months/years of obesity pass us by without doing anything. But now that we're making a change, we shouldn't dwell on it.
I am proud of the old me for choosing to lose weight. Better late than never.
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 05:49 AM
|
#5
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Springfield, Missouri
Posts: 8,802
Height: 5'8.5"
|
Personally I think it is very easy to feel this way. However, I also think it is super important to not LET this be our mindset but instead to focus on the fact that we are doing something about it! You've lost 20 pounds... so when you are in the grocery store, pick up a 20 pound bag of potatoes (or something) and think about how you are no longer carrying that around all day.
That is one way this forum is so helpful... there are all kinds of encouraging, supportive threads. Make the weight loss journey FUN and just keep looking forward. Not saying that is always easy... we can get a glance at ourselves in a mirror and cringe... but we are on our way to Skinnyville!!
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 08:07 AM
|
#6
|
|
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 88
S/C/G: 235/ticker/165
Height: 5'9.5"
|
i totally understand this, and was actually spending quite a bit of last night reflecting on my own negative self talk. we are harder on ourselves than we ever would be on someone else. today i'm focusing on turning negative thoughts around. so when i feel my thighs rubbing together and want to tell myself how disgusting i am, instead i am going to be grateful that i have legs that walk and carry me through my day and have survived the abuse my weight has been.
i know it's easier to post it here than to actually take it to heart, but that's my focus today, maybe it will help you too
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 09:31 AM
|
#7
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 772
S/C/G: 298/ticker/175
Height: 5'7"
|
I can relate. While I'm proud of the weight that I've lost thus far and I'm loving the changes I see in my body, I still have moments when I feel more than a little despair at how much more I need to lose. I also feel regret, huge regret, that I didn't get serious about losing weight until my late 40s. Being obese for most of my life has caused irreparable damage to my feet, ankles and knees.
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 09:31 AM
|
#8
|
|
Stephanie
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,221
S/C/G: 236/135-140/More Fit
Height: 5'6"
|
I definitely relate!
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 09:50 AM
|
#9
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Cali
Posts: 538
S/C/G: SW 228/CW 138/GW 130-150
Height: 5'3.5
|
I can relate! I wrote a post on this about a year ago.
I still feel this way after almost 70 pounds down. I have been inching my goal down further as a result.
I am trying to be happy with what God gave me and content that I am a healthier me.
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 10:34 AM
|
#10
|
|
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 377
S/C/G: 290/see ticker/180
Height: 5'8
|
Thank you everyone for your thoughts. It makes me feel better that others relate. I do need to try compassion and forgiveness with myself and just go forward doing my best.
I love the ideas of picking up a 20 lb bag to see how far I've come. Also reminding myself that I have strong powerful legs that carry me. For me, my large body was a shield - I'm ready to take that shield off and be healthy ... but I can also be thankful that it was there when I needed it even though its time to say goodbye.
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 01:36 PM
|
#11
|
|
Age 53
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NC now/MI for first 42 years
Posts: 1,652
S/C/G: 265/ticker/165
Height: 5'7"
|
While I wouldn't call it loathing, I did not like the body awareness that the weight loss process gave me again. At my starting weight I didn't really have to think about my appearance, as there was only one criteria - I was fat, so therefore nothing was going to look good, get dressed and move on.
As I started losing the weight and feeling mentally good about the process, it was hard to take that the body didn't look as light and fit as I felt!
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 03:08 PM
|
#12
|
|
Be strong and courageous
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 140
S/C/G: 310/195/140
Height: 5 feet 6 inches
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by dstalksalot
I can relate! I wrote a post on this about a year ago.
I still feel this way after almost 70 pounds down. I have been inching my goal down further as a result.
I am trying to be happy with what God gave me and content that I am a healthier me.
|
This is so me.
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 03:57 PM
|
#13
|
|
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Maritimes, Canada
Posts: 76
Height: 5'6"
|
I can SO relate!
While I wasn't entirely happy with how I was before, I had accepted me for me. I knew the weight was bad (health wise) but body image wise I was like, love me for how I am or buzz off!
But now? Ugh, my body is so fat and ugly!! I am noticing all imperfections too, skin, hair, nails, etc. I have never thought of myself as pretty, just not ugly, but now I don't even get how anyone looks at me!
I know that probably sounds really awful, but yeah, this body awareness thing is a part of the journey I wasn't expecting and I am struggling with it.
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 04:16 PM
|
#14
|
|
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Cali
Posts: 538
S/C/G: SW 228/CW 138/GW 130-150
Height: 5'3.5
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by DougsGirl
but yeah, this body awareness thing is a part of the journey I wasn't expecting and I am struggling with it.
|
It IS part of the journey and an unexpected part! I am finding I am doing my hair more, wearing more make up and even doing my nails. Something I never did. Even when I was this size in college I was more of a low maintenance granola girl. I have changed into a girly girl within the last year and am surprised. I don't know if I like it!
Last edited by dstalksalot; 12-30-2012 at 04:16 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
12-30-2012, 04:26 PM
|
#15
|
|
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Maritimes, Canada
Posts: 76
Height: 5'6"
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by dstalksalot
It IS part of the journey and an unexpected part! I am finding I am doing my hair more, wearing more make up and even doing my nails. Something I never did. Even when I was this size in college I was more of a low maintenance granola girl. I have changed into a girly girl within the last year and am surprised. I don't know if I like it!
|
Me too! I am a get out of bed at the last minute and run out the door to work kinda girl. It always boggles my mind why anyone would get up 1-2+ hours early to do their hair and makeup!
And yet, I find myself getting up a bit earlier to do my hair. Or find a good outfit. Wearing makeup on the weekends. It feels, weird!
And I am torn if I like it. On one hand it does make me feel better. And I have gotten compliments.
On the other hand, I don't like the idea of having to do my hair or put on makeup as a way of being accepted and better liked in society. It makes me feel like before I was that tacky gift you got for Christmas last year and hid in the closet, but this year I get to be put on the mantle?
|
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:39 PM.
|
