[Alyj89]

So about 4 years ago my fiancé moved to another state to live with me, we had previously been in an online-only relationship for several years (we met as teenagers). I was overweight then, and he knew that, and I was extreamly nervous to finally see him in person - obviously things worked out

Well, his family really wants to see him again an visa versa. He visited 2 years ago, and I didn't go because it was such short notice and I had work, but also because around that time I was at my HW of 250+lbs and did not want to meet his family. I told him then that when I was under 200lbs I would go with him again. Well, I'm 193 now and have a plane booked for the 29th to go.

I'm still SO nervous to meet his family though. And it's annoying because in every other regard I've gained miles of confidence. But I see pictures of all the wives and girlfriends in his family and they're all so skinny and pretty and I just feel like a big fat whale and don't want to meet them.

I'm also terrified of planes and this will be my first plane ever and the closer this day gets the more stressed out I get. I really just needed to vent, I'm not sure what I'm asking for in this post!

[valentine21463]

I have flown 6 times in my lifetime and I hate it. It's not the actual flight I hate, it's the anticipation of it all. The waiting. My imagination goes wild and I get anxious the minute I purchase the ticket. After I'm on the plane and have taken off I'm fine. It's like riding a bus. I don't know why I put myself through this every time but I do. So now when I know I'm going to have to fly I go to the doctor and tell her my fears and she writes me a little prescription of lorazapam (very low dose). It's such a low dose that I feel like I didn't take anything but it does take the edge off and I can at least function and get on the plane.

As for meeting the fam just remember that it isn't the weight people will like or dislike. It's what's inside that they will love. I'm sure you have thin and heavy friends in your life. When you first met them did you decide just from looking at them that they were too fat or thin to be your friends? I'm sure you didn't. You'll be fine.

[bargoo]

No matter what your weight meeting "his" family for the first time is a nerve wracking experience. I don't think anybody will be shocked ar repulsed at your weight. Try and relax about the flight, hold your boyfriends hand at takeoff. I was nervous the first time I flew, too, but it gets easier each time you fly for most of us, that is. There are some famous people who are afraid to fly and only travel by train or car.

[krampus]

If you're prone to motion sickness take Dramamine - it makes you really "duh" and apathetic too which might take the edge off the nervousness (but also make you seem stoned, so...). Remember that flying is safer than driving etc etc etc and we've been flying in planes for 100+ years! I have been on dozens, probably a couple hundred planes and still get nervous sometimes because it seems unnatural, but you'll be OK!

As for meeting his family - they are not going to size you up based on your weight, they'll be looking to see if you are a kind person who treats your fiancé well and makes him happy. Since it sounds like you fit both of those categories, you should have absolutely nothing to worry about, and CERTAINLY nothing to be ashamed of. Good luck!!!

[annieway]

You may find you enjoy flying! I fly frequently for business and I actually sort of like it. I used to get nervous, mostly about getting through the airport and to the plane on time. Just get to the airport early - I find that helps a lot for me. If you are really early, it's not a problem - just bring a good book to read or games on your phone or whatever to occupy time. If you have any concerns about fitting into the seat or seatbelt on the plane, you have no worries. At my heaviest weight I never had to ask for a seatbelt extender and we're about the same height.

[owlsteazombies]

To this day I still feel like I'm not good enough in my husband's family's eyes because of my weight. I'll probably always feel that way.

So every time it comes around to us visiting, there's huge screaming matches and me acting like a huge brat child.

But you know what? That's all me and in my head. When we're there, it's not so bad. I can never admit that to myself at the time and even as I type this, I'm dreading my own visit to the in-laws next week, but do as I say, not as I do

Relax and calm down. The scariest thing about a plane is learning that your terminal is 30 minutes away and your flight leaves in ten minutes.

Oh..and don't be like me and when your boyfriend's beloved aunt starts showing you pictures of her horses and talks to you about her favorite pasttime, don't be a jerk and ask, "So..I guess you like horses?" Was not cool of me.

[Alyj89]

Thank you so much ladies ! I feel a bit better, but still super nervous. I know that they love my fiancé and they're all very nice people from what interactions I have had with them, so I know I'm overreacting. But I can't help it. Ot so doesn't help that even my fiance is a tall, underweight twig ! so I look huge next to him. sigh.

as for the plane, I don't think i get motion sickness. I never have before, but then, I've never been on a plane. I also have diabetes, so I'm freaked out that they might think I'm carrying some sort of biohazard weapon (ie: my insulin)...totally freaking myself out. i can't seem to stop!