Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 11-29-2012, 02:09 PM   #1  
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I have lurked the boards off and on for a while, but this is my first post.

I'm 35 years old and the mom to two kids, ages 10 and 8. I was never "fat" until I got pregnant with my first, at which point I ballooned up to 250 pounds. Here it is, a decade later, and I'm holding at 230 pounds.

I'm 5 foot 2 inches, so that is a lot of weight packed onto a short frame. I'm miserable. Clothing shopping for a short person is hard enough, add on an extra 100 pounds and it's impossible for me to look good in anything.

I have been trying for years to lose weight. I cut out mayo, butter, cereal, most breads, and eat a lot of salads, veggies, lean meats and such. I used to be a big Mountain Dew addict, but have been Dew free for several months now.

My husband and I have been married 12 years. We have had issues with him cheating, which has just made my self worth deplete even further.

I have been diagnosed with depression, general anxiety disorder, and PTSD, and bi-polar. I have been on quite a few different meds, combos of a few, and dosages but over the years I saw very little relief. I quit all my meds cold turkey about a year and a half ago. I'm really struggling with depression, anger, worthlessness, and lack of motivation.

I'm trying to walk, but I get two laps and feel defeated and quit. I emotionally can not take another step. I end up on the verge of crying. I was walking quite a bit and saw no benefits, and just wound up in a lot of pain with nothing to show for it.

Now I found that my husband has been spending money and lots of time on internet porn. Now I feel like I just want to be dead. I'm so tired of feeling so bad, not being able to play with my kids like I want, not being able to dress nice, and feeling so worthless.

I have no one to talk to. No one to listen and there is no help for me. I'm just so done with this life. I am 100 pounds over weight, and it isn't going anywhere, no matter what I give up or how hard I try. WHY????
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Old 11-29-2012, 02:17 PM   #2  
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I don't have any advice; all I can say is I understand how hopeless and desperate you feel. I'm equally hopeless and desperate, but for different reasons.

Hopefully both of us will figure it out soon. Me, I've been trying my entire life. I've been clinically depressed since elementary school. I'm 37 now.
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Old 11-29-2012, 02:36 PM   #3  
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You may not have anyone to talk to in person, however, you do have friends and support here. You should know, that even if you don't receive a lot of comments, people are reading your posts and understanding/feeling for you.

That said, you have 2 children who have no one but you. You are there to mold them into wonderful adults. Only you can do this. Your husband is an issue that I cannot comment on, as I have nothing positive to say and probably would be banned from the website

Start thinking of yourself and your kids. As you exercise and lose weight, you'll feel better. Take it one day at a time. Make 5 pound goals. Reward yourself after you meet a "big" goal (maybe 20 pounds).

Good luck to you. I'm cheering for you!
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Old 11-29-2012, 03:00 PM   #4  
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I second that you can and will find support for everything here- your weight loss issues, venting about your relationship, your depression, everything. You're not alone!

First thing I'd say to you is something that it took me a long time to learn, even after I was told it. "You lose weight with diet, you get fit with exercise". Since as a younger woman I could eat anything and stay slim, and I was active, I thought that wasn't true. But about the time I turned 30, I realized that it's totally true. As Jillian Michaels would say, "You can outeat any amount of exercise." So- to lose weight you're going to have to address your diet. You should be able to find a myriad of different options here. We've got weight watchers, ideal protein, low carb, low cal, you name it. If one didn't work for you, another may. Personally I find I lose weight on low carb diets but cannot lose weight unless I go low carb. So you'll need to find what works for you. Post up your questions on the right board, and peruse the threads already there, and answers will be yours.

Many of us suffer from anxiety and depression, or have in the past. I have suffered from severe anxiety, panic disorder, and depression. I have it mostly under control now. I no longer suffer from depression, and panic attacks are rare for me now. The things that have helped me most are a clean diet (our brain is an organ too, and it depends on proper nutrition the same as every other part of your body does), maintaining an attitude of gratitude, my faith, exercise (outdoors in particular, I respond really well to sunny days, they really cheer me up) and maintaining my friendships.

A book I'm reading now that addresses an integrative method of dealing with depression and anxiety is Spontaneous Happiness by Dr. Andrew Weil and I do recommend it. I wish I'd known 20 years ago what I know now.

I hope you'll stick with us. This forum has been a wonderful resource for me, and I think it will be a wonderful resource for you. You can use us as a sounding board, get advice, give advice, and just get general encouragement here.
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Old 11-29-2012, 03:35 PM   #5  
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Thank you for the replies. I just tried to walk and got 6 minutes into it before I started to cry and just got the "why bothers?" I was exercising 40 minutes a day in the sunshine and it did nothing to improve my mood or my weight, which made me feel even worse.

I was found to be vit D deficient, but have been on supplements and am now fine. My thyroid has been checked multiple times, and I was told I do not have PCOS.

I currently take a multi-vitamin, magnesium, and St. John's Wort, but have not noticed any improvement in any area after over 30 days of implementing them.

I'm at the point now that if I eat anything I feel guilty. I had to force myself to eat a salad with cheese for breakfast/lunch, and am dreading dinner, when I have to feed my family.

I will have to check out the book, EagleRiverDee! My kids have books due tomorrow so I have to go to the library anyway. I'll check to see if they have it there.

I'm having an even harder time dealing with my weight since I have been trying for years to lose it, and I have friends who have lost several sizes in just a couple of months. I am not understanding.

My husband has a military ball he is expected to be at in June 2013. Years ago I wanted to go so bad and he wouldn't. Now that he knows I "won't" go, he keeps telling me I have to go. If I can't find every day clothes that look good on me, how in the world am I going to find a formal dress??? I'm already tearing up thinking about it.

My "goal" is to lose 60 pounds in 6 months or I won't go to the ball. However, I can't even meet my "mini" goal of losing 5 pounds! I went to orientation for weight loss surgery, but that is not an option because you are required to lose 10 pounds on your own before you can get it done. I haven't been able to even lose 5...
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Old 11-29-2012, 10:33 PM   #6  
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first off...your husband is a jerk!!!! i would ignore him until he decides to quit being a jerk and work on yourself! pamper yourself with special perfume, movies out, and time away...let the next 6 months be all about you!
second off..http://www.eshakti.com. i have heard awesome things about this dress company! not only can you get all these beautiful clothes in a huge range of styles, they can make them long or short for you, change the sleeve type, and everything! you will look beautiful!

its hard losing weight..ive gained a ton, but i came back because of how awesome and supportive everyone is here.
if you ever want to talk, i am always up late! pm me if you want
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Old 11-29-2012, 11:02 PM   #7  
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Hello and

I'm so glad you are here. Yes, there IS support and encouragement here... and we DO care about each other, especially as we all share the common bond of struggling with our weight and know how difficult it is. We all share the excitement when someone has an achievement, even if we ourselves are still far from that accomplishment.

I hope you stick around.
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Old 11-30-2012, 01:25 AM   #8  
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Raven-

It's hard. Everyone here has experienced that frustration, that "why bother!" feeling. It is SO much easier to gain it than to lose it. I've been plateau'd for nearly a YEAR at my current weight. At the same token, I also slacked off on my diet and started drinking again. The glass of wine is nice, but it comes at a cost, because I don't seem able to lose when I am drinking. It's empty calories, and all carbs.

You've got the double whammy of having marriage problems. I don't know what to suggest there. Your husband sounds like a jerk to me. He cheated on you, he's trying to force you to do something you don't want to do. That said, I also understand that marriage is a commitment and it sounds like you're committed which is nice and speaks volumes about the type of person you are. So I've got no advice for the marriage, but you definitely have to address your low self esteem, your depression, and your anxiety. I wouldn't count on your husband for the support you need. I'd suggest counseling if it's an option for you, or at least see an MD or ND. I'm tend to lean towards naturopathic care myself and prefer not to be on pharamaceuticals and there things that a naturopathic doc can do to help you. Things like meditation, prayer, massage, acupuncture can all help with your mood as well. I hope you have a good support system- women friends, family? You need them right now. And you need to not isolate yourself- you need to get out there and be with friends and family at least once a week.

I hope you will read that book, Dr. Weil has some great suggestions for things you can do that will help you manage depression and anxiety. He also did a thing on the book on the Dr. Oz show and probably you can find a clip of that on the Youtube.

Please stay with us here. You did 6 minutes today, try for 7 tomorrow. You can do this! We've got your back. Come back, talk to us about the diets you've tried. What worked? What didn't? Why do you think it's not working now? If you don't know why not, that's ok- tell us what you're doing and people will tell you what they think might be the reason. Sometimes it's the littlest tweak that makes all the difference, and you might be so close!
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