I have a few pounds left to lose, and haven't been really successful staying on track to losing it. I've maintained my weight loss - but haven't been able to lose that last 15 or so. The past few weeks have been pretty tough, no excuses, but I've been binging regularly. This week I've been really good. Today, I went to the grocery store at lunch. I work from home, so I ate at my desk before I left to go to the store - so I wasn't the least bit hungry when I went. I had a list and I wasn't even
thinking about a binge.
Until I walked in. After getting everything on my list, I walked through the deli cookie aisle TWICE. I had a package of 4 large chocolate chip cookies in my hand, something I have binged on in the past. I put them back. I headed to the ice cream aisle. I slowly walked through and decided it was too cold outside for ice cream. I headed to the candy aisle. After almost filling a bag full of bulk candy, I settled on a small (2 serving) bag of candy corn (I love the stuff).
I wanted more candy, so as I turned around to go to the chocolate, another woman bumped into me. She barely mumbled "Sorry," and she didn't even look at me. I noticed that she was
fixated on the candy. She had a few items in her cart, and already 2-3 bags of candy. I kind of watched her as I was trying to decide what else to buy and I recognized that "binge trance" on her face. Her eyes were wide as she scanned all the candy, grabbing a couple more bags mindlessly. She didn't look at me, or anyone else walking past and she actually bumped into another shopper.
In the end, I think she ended up with probably half a dozen bags of candy. It
broke my heart to see her and realize that's how I have looked in the past while shopping for my binge food. I put the candy I had in my cart back and grabbed a container of sugar-free gum, instead.
She was easily 4 inches shorter than me and she was quite large, but that isn't what made me put the candy back and forget about the binge. It was that
look in her eyes. She was totally unaware of her surroundings, looking at the candy like it was her lover, and I don't think she probably even realized how much she had in her cart.
So my binge was stopped because of this woman. I saw
myself in her, my "old" self, and it made me so sad...I just cannot go back to that way of life.
Anyone else ever have a similar experience?