Yesterday, I had someone come up to me and say "Your husband must be so proud of you!" The converstation (from this stranger!) continues with she thinks I am carrying twins because I am "so big".
When I tell her I'm not pregnant, just fat, she corrected herself and told me it was just so obvious because I'm so flat chested! By this time, I am just about ready to smack this stupid person! When I tell her I had breast cancer and had a double mastectomy, she looks at me like I'm a lunatic.
What gives with people? How rude can you get? Isn't it bad enough that I am self conccious about my weight? I already have trouble finding decent shirts that fit well (it is amazing how your boobs keep you looking normal!). Does anyone have suggestions on how to deal with rude people? Please help!
Oh Lord. Wow. That is just beyond callous and stupid. I am sorry that happened to you. People shouldn't keep digging when they are already in a big hole!
I am the sort of person who would be so shocked by stupidity of that magnitude that I wouldn't know what to say!
I'm sorry to hear that this happened. I don't know what gives people the right to open their mouths to say whatever they want to. So I'm assuming no apology.
You should always just be polite and end the conversation on a positive note. No reason to fight rudeness with more rudeness. In 99% of cases, most would have apologized after you mentioned you were not pregnant. Obviously in this case the women either panicked and just kept blurting things out, or she has lived under a rock for her whole life.
Either way, it is always better to be nice than snarky.
I am sorry to hear that people can be so in human. You keep doing what makes you happy and ignore the noise of others opinions. Don't take any thing personally, nothing others do or say is because of you, it is just a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others than you will not be a victim of needless suffering.
hmmm... IF there is a next time ~ (this is me mind u) smile nice big n brite n ask would u like a spoon or shovel to dig with? n u walk away not giving them another thought. sorry i just dont deal well with stupidity. and i have had the "how far along are you?" i just laugh n say hunny im not pregnant im fat but thanx for asking n i walk away.
So sorry to hear that. This person obviously has a problem.
It doesn't have to do with weight, it has to do with nosy people who think pregnancy is a public state anyone is entitled to comment on.
For what it's worth (1) while pregnant I was asked by a neighbor if I was expecting twins "any day" since I was "so big" and when told it was only one baby with 2 months to go kept insisting I was off on my due date. What nerve. Sounds like an old busy body but she was a young mom! The irony - l was normal weight during the pregnancy with an average-sized baby!! A lot of problems with the pregnancy - so imagine my state of mind to hear this.
I swear, it seems like some of those people do it on purpose just to be snide. A lot of those same people would find something else to be snide about even if you were skinny (they'd probably make fun of you for your fitness or smallness), so all you can do is ignore them.
Then again, there are some people that mean well but just can't control the stupid things that come out of their mouths
I don't know what makes people believe that it is ok to ask stupid questions or make such dumb comments. I have only gotten the "pregnant" comment once and it was from an Employee Relations Manager at my former employer, of all people! And he made that comment to other women so I didn't take it personally.
But I get people who are practically strangers asking me personal questions all the time: how much I weigh, how much I've lost, how much money I make, etc. it's nobody's business.
Wow, that is beyond rude! First of all, great job on handling everything so well. I probably would have cried if such a situation came up, since I'm probably way more sensitive than you are.
I kind of want to hope that the flat-chested remark was just her trying to cover up her mistake, instead of her being rude. But yeah, even if you were pregnant, it's not her business anyway!
It takes all kinds to make the world go round. That being said, I have had instances where I thought someone was pregnant, BUT... until I knew for sure, i kept my mouth shut. I would be humiliated to ask someone about their pregnancy when they werent even pregnant. Hopefully she was just so embarrassed by her blunder, that she kept blundering lol.
You should always just be polite and end the conversation on a positive note. No reason to fight rudeness with more rudeness. In 99% of cases, most would have apologized after you mentioned you were not pregnant. Obviously in this case the women either panicked and just kept blurting things out, or she has lived under a rock for her whole life.
Either way, it is always better to be nice than snarky.
Candeka,
I love that word "snarky"! It made me smile! And you are right, it is better to be nice than nasty. Usually I am, but I was extremely sensitive that day I guess and it got to me. I have been using your word when someone is a jerk (hope that's ok?) and it somehow has the power to make me laugh rather than get upset. Thatnks for the reminder to be nice rather than mean (snarky!).
This is why people should not go running around and assume others are pregnant unless it's 100% obvious. Some people just have no common sense these days and I'm sorry you had to go through that! That lady seems socially inept.. After you told her that you weren't pregnant, she could've just apologized and walked away.
I've had other people think my nephew was my son instead of my sister's. It sucked!
I'm not pregnant - just fat!
