It's been a trip, but I think I am done - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Galadreal · 07-20-2012, 02:40 PM

Let me just say, that unless anyone screams against it, I will probably still come by and check out how all the wonderful ladies here are doing, as time and life permits. But as for me. I am done. No more MRC for me.

Now, that that is out of the way. I will say, yes, I lost about 25 pounds on MRC in my first couple of months. I lost 20 pounds before that in a couple of months just trying to be healthier, but I thought MRC would make it go faster. I have stalled out, run outta gas, hit a wall. I am sure the program works well, but I have to be honest, I can't do it. I was fine for the first 3 months, but when the weight loss plateaued for 3 weeks straight I just kind of lost it. I have not been able to keep going and I am so tired of being sick of myself and feeling like a failure for not sticking with it. I hate self loathing, and I don't do it well. I have never been as depressed as I have been for the last couple of months. My life has never been this comlicated. I never felt bad for eating something...ok, unless it was the last something and I did not share. Compound the lack of ability to have kids with the lack of ability to (Quickly) lose weight due to the PCOS and I feel like my Uterus has highjacked my life and run cacking down the rabbit hole and into Wonderland. I don't feel like me anymore.

Now, I do plan on trying to get in more exercise, and eat healther, but it will be on my terms, not the MRC plan. My birthday is comming up (33, oh crap) and I am going to enjoy it without worrying that I should have had a chicken salad instead of a steak and baked potato...or (GASP!) pasta. I know the plan would work if I could stick with it, but the hard question I have had to ask myself lately is if it is worth it. The anger, the self loathing, the resentment, the depression. From where my flab is sitting...nope, I would rather be a happy fatso then depressed and skinny.

I know alot of women here have a signature that says "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels", well, that may be true, I have never been thin, I never will be thin, even if I got down to my idea weight I would not be thin, and honestly I am fine with that. I like my life, my marriage, my sanity too much to give it all up for a goal that I may or may not ever attain. I am going to do this my way. If I make goal, great, if I don't, well, I am gonna enjoy my life anyway.

This is not me trying to rationalize staying fat. I still want to get in shape. I have just come to the realization that MRC is not for me. To everyone else, more power to you!

Peace out ya'll, and hope everyone has a great weekend.

So long and thanks for all the fish!

COchick · 07-20-2012, 02:56 PM

*HUGS*

I also decided to stop doing MRC a few months ago, and I've switched to calorie counting. I'm pretty happy with how things are going, and I hope everything goes well for you. It sounds like you have a plan!

anjy99 · 07-20-2012, 04:46 PM

Galadreal- best wishes to you! I just wanted to say that I'm 37 and have struggled with PCOS since I was 20 and the weight that just kept piling on every year. Carbs are evil when it comes to PCOS and I've made my peace with it. But I just want to let you know that I struggled for years with infertility but somehow on my diet journeys the times when I had lost weight and was eating healthy, bam I would get pg. It took 7 years for my 1st and then another 4 yrs for my 2nd. But it's possible! Fertility drugs never helped.. anyway good luck on your journey!

camaswa · 07-21-2012, 10:44 AM

Totally hear you, Gal. The head trip of all this can really mess with you, especially when you don't have a good counselor you can relate to. As we have all written, many of them make us feel bad for having one carrot stick too many.

You can give up on the MRC rigor but please, please don't give up on your health. You still have a long way to go and for your health you need to get more weight off. I have PCOS also - it does make it harder. Im twice your age and have been on this roller coaster forever. Its important to get that insulin under better control and a lower carb diet really helps. (The MRC no snack rule does not help. I was on the verge of quitting till a great counselor switched me to Metabalance) You need to keep your blood sugar on an even keel. as for fertility, It took 5 years, 3 miscarriages and lots of heartache before they finally got me straightened out enough to hang on to a pregnancy. But i did have a beautiful girl who is now an incredible young adult. I cant imagine lwhat my life would have been had i not perservered and gotten her.

And my periods eventually got regular. I lasered away the facial hair, started eating more proteins and less simple carbs, got serious about the exercise, and slowly,slowly, things got better. But I kept falling off the low-carb way of life and as I have gotten older, the weight seems harder and hArder to keep off. So I tried MRC. I have very mixed feelings about the place and how it is run, but the basics of the lower-carb diet are right for someone with PCOS, I am certain.

Find a nutritionist or someone.... Not the high pressure of MRC but someone who can really help you make lifelong changes slowly. Without making you feel like a failure. Cuz you're not.

Best wishes and health to you, sista.

Galadreal · 07-23-2012, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by camaswa

Totally hear you, Gal. The head trip of all this can really mess with you, especially when you don't have a good counselor you can relate to. As we have all written, many of them make us feel bad for having one carrot stick too many.

You can give up on the MRC rigor but please, please don't give up on your health. You still have a long way to go and for your health you need to get more weight off. I have PCOS also - it does make it harder. Im twice your age and have been on this roller coaster forever. Its important to get that insulin under better control and a lower carb diet really helps. (The MRC no snack rule does not help. I was on the verge of quitting till a great counselor switched me to Metabalance) You need to keep your blood sugar on an even keel. as for fertility, It took 5 years, 3 miscarriages and lots of heartache before they finally got me straightened out enough to hang on to a pregnancy. But i did have a beautiful girl who is now an incredible young adult. I cant imagine lwhat my life would have been had i not perservered and gotten her.

And my periods eventually got regular. I lasered away the facial hair, started eating more proteins and less simple carbs, got serious about the exercise, and slowly,slowly, things got better. But I kept falling off the low-carb way of life and as I have gotten older, the weight seems harder and hArder to keep off. So I tried MRC. I have very mixed feelings about the place and how it is run, but the basics of the lower-carb diet are right for someone with PCOS, I am certain.

Find a nutritionist or someone.... Not the high pressure of MRC but someone who can really help you make lifelong changes slowly. Without making you feel like a failure. Cuz you're not.

Best wishes and health to you, sista.

No worries, I am not giving up on my health, I am just going back to something that works better for me. Everything in moderation, including moderation. I had been trying to weed out refined carbs for awhile anyway, stick to only 100% whole wheat or multigrain bread, brown rice, and things like that. But I still allowed myself the occassional sweet or potato. I did better that way and I did not feel like a horrible person for wanting a frozen yogurt.

I will still hang out, still work on losing weight, and still try to eat better. But I am done feeling guilty about it. I started trying to lose weight to feel better about myself and MRC just made me feel worse. I may try a nutritionalist one day, but for now I just need some time to reset my life and relax.

rachels77 · 07-23-2012, 11:09 AM

Reset way, Galadreal! Hugs to you and I wish you the best of luck.

One thing everyone needs to remember is that, MRC or not, this is all about getting healthy and losing weight. Feeling good about yourself and where you've come from... we're all different and react to things/chemicals/situations differently ... we just have to find our pathway to our destination...

Glad you're on your pathway... do check in periodically and best wishes from me for your healthy, happy future!

camaswa · 07-23-2012, 11:58 AM

I hope some MRC counselors read this.... There is just no reason someone should have to feel bad about themselves while on this plan. Yet so many people have posted feeling like a failure, etc. makes me crazy. This is such a big commitment, and it sometimes gets really hard to stick with it during plateaus and setbacks. If they could all learn how to support clients through tough times, they would be so much more effective. From reading these boards, It sounds like there is much inconsistency in how the centers are run and I myself have seen a big difference from counselor to counselor. Grrrr.