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I received some devastating news from my doctor just 20 minutes ago and I need to share it with someone (or just a bunch of virtual strangers/friends). I have these really dark spots on my neck. Initially, I thought it meant I have pre-diabetes, diabetes, and/or a thyroid problem. However, both my primary care physician and my dermatologist tested for all of these potential issues as well as cancer, fungus on skin, PCOS, and any other issue that can cause dark spots....yet ALL my tests came back well within normal range. I take that back...my cholesterol level is on the boarderline high side, but that's about it. It's bitter sweet because....well, just look at the pictures in the URL below (I posted pictures on WebMD to find answers about these dark spots) to see what I mean.
I'm a single, 34-year old woman and these dark spots will be VERY difficult to hide. Right now, I can get away with wearing turtle necks since I live in the Pacific Northwest where the weather is usually on the cool side for most months out of the year. However, in a couple of months it's going to be T-shirt weather.
My dating life is ruined! I'm of South Asian ethnicity and anyone familiar with the Asian community will tell you how judgmental of a culture it is and if you have dark spots, are considered fat, or have any physical disability, then your chances of finding a marriage partner are shot to ****. My dermatologist, who is also of South Asian ethnicity, told me that it is NOT uncommon for South Asian people (or any darker skinned minority group) to get unexplained dark spots like the one I have right now. She told me there is no cure and that it takes many months and, sometimes, even years for the spots to fade away. ;(
I have a few scarves already, but will need to much a lot more scarves for this summertime. I can't believe this is happening to me. Yes, I know, it could be worst...it could be cancer....but I hope someone will understand just how bad of a diagnosis this is...especially coming from the South Asian, judgmental community. I know my mom is going to start crying because she knows it will be the end of any marriage prospects for me. Even if I date outside my ethnicity, I think would be a major turn off for any man to see this disgusting dark spots on my neck.
I didn't know, until just know, how much I really wanted to find "the one" and get married. I still believe everything happens for a reason...both the good and the bad...I just wish I knew why God (or whatever higher power/energy force) is wanting me to go through this ordeal. I'm going to miss dating and feeling normal.
But if it really does bother you that much hun, there are make up products that cover birthmarks, scarring and other skin issues. It may be pricey, I can't remember off hand but as I said, if these dark spots are bothering you in terms of your appearance it might be one avenue to research.
Try to look on the up side, cholesterol is easily rectified and your working on losing some weight which will help too.
If a man gets freaked out by these dark marks on your neck, they're not worth your time and effort.
Lastly, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! I just hope you can move past this, get some confidence back and be happy.
I agree 100% with the previous responses!! While it might be a big deal in your culture, (so some of us won't understand what you are going through there), a decent guy is not going to base his decision on whether or not to date or marry you on a few spots on your neck.
To be honest I don't think body shaming women is great culture. As everyone else said you'll probably meet someone nicer, is the perfect match really the person who would reject you over your neck?
Also maybe one of those creams designed to cover tattoos will work, they're pretty hardcore.
I agree with John -- I would get another opinion, just in case (maybe more, as he said). It may be pigment, but it may not be; and it may go away. You can buy pigmentation cremes too; they can fade the spots at least a bit: worth a try if your doctor OK's it.
Plus, I had a friend who was born with a huge, permanent birthmark all across her neck -- didn't stop guys from dating/marrying her.
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 04-18-2012 at 05:31 PM.
Ask yourself - do I want to be with a man who wouldn't love me because of NECK SPOTS??!?? A lot worse things can happen over a lifetime, so I agree that this can be viewed as a great filter to filter out men who aren't worth your time
I agree with everyone else, get a second opinion. And we all have imperfections , a good man won't care one bit! If he does care you don't want him anyways
Are the pics on WebMD of you, or are they just similar to yours? In either case, I don't think they're that bad at all, and I've seen many women with similar marks. It's just not a big deal. I agree, you could probably easily cover them with make-up if you wanted. Also, with all the other posters who said you don't want to be with a guy who's that judgmental- I totally agree! I mean, if this is the guy for you, he should be willing to change your diapers if he has to!! Well...not at first, hopefully.
In any case, I have a skin disorder, too, and I know it makes you really self-conscious, but I think you're overreacting. Get yourself some fade cream and a decent concealer stick if you really feel the need and then forget about it. There are plenty of fat, ugly, haggard women with good lookin' husbands- it's a buyer's market out there. Confidence makes up for a lot.
The pictures you see on WebMD are of my neck. The last picture (if you scroll down at the very bottom of the webpage) was taken just this past January and the spots have remained the same color and size. The first 3 pictures on the page where taken in November 2011. I don't know how or why it got so bad.
My dermatologist said it's just dark pigmentation and not skin fugus, cancer, and several other things they tested the skin for (I had a skin biposy last Monday). She told me that there is no cue for dark pigmentation and that, even though there are bleach creams that I can use, she has found that those creams don't work as well with dark skinned people compared to fair skinned people. I've been putting heavy makeup on those dark spots, but you can still see it (although the darkness isn't so striking).
The dermatologist and primary care physican agreed that, based off my blood test results, they ruled out Acanthosis Nigricans.
That does not look bad AT ALL! To be honest, they kind of look like bruises. They don't look nasty at all and if i were a guy it would not affect my decision to date you!
OH!!!!! i've seen those before! my oldest daughter always had a "dirty neck" (we only just found out last year that her father is half salish first nation even though he was white as a ghost - untannable skin with freckles, pale red hair, pale blue eyes). she used to scrub her neck raw but it never went away and she's still got it - she just uses foundation to cover it up.
when i lived up north, a neighbour lady from trinidad had this condition but miles away worse - she looked piebald. it was almost a reverse form of vitiligo where instead of losing pigment and ending up with bright pink patches, she would hyperpigment and have really dark patches resulting in a mottled skin that looked part milk chocolate and part dark. she, too, was devastated (hindu culture - you know) but her husband (white guy) honestly didn't even notice it until she physically pointed to them.
he told me he doesn't see her - whenever he looks at her, he sees her on their wedding day. 84 yrs old and plays the church organ like a dream and still such a romantic!
i don't know if it will help, but you could try some of these remedies:
Look up the Dermablend product. That stuff is a serious cover makeup. Once you put it on, it doesn't rub off. It is made for people with skin problems due to burns, port wine stains, etc.
After you think about it, not having cancer is VERY good news.
I just received some bad news from my doctor.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! 
