[Lunula]

DANGIT! I said it - DANGIT! That feels good.

Okay, so I am down to 160 after being 230 about a year & a half ago. I exercise regularly and track my food with WW online. I've been strong and resolute all year but started slacking off around the holidays. I gained & lost the same 10 pounds for months. Silver lining - I haven't given up (yay!) and I have remained steadfast with my exercise.

But...I'm getting exhausted with the "trying to lose weight" lifestyle. I'm angry as HECK at myself for gaining and losing the same few pounds over and over the past few months and I'm even more angry that I am binging again. For roughly 9 months I didn't binge, even though I'd been a binger for a loooong time. I'd have a slip-up here or there, but very rarely. Now, they are a weekly occurence. In fact, I worked out 7 days last week, and worked out hard and didn't lose a pound (actually gained .4) because I binged almost everyday.

Saturday & Sunday I did pretty well -today...I had another binge. Why? WHY? There is no answer, it's just a habit.

So, I am not giving up. I cannot give up. But I feel like these last 20 lbs are becoming insurmountable. I honestly believe I have the skills to maintain (in fact, I've maintained for months now) - but I am just tired of trying to lose. Does that make sense?

Sorry to vent. Anyone else ever feel this way? I think I am starting to rebel against the "lose weight" phase of my life-plan.

[NEMom]

First off, congrats on your amazing accomplishment, I bet you look and feel wonderful.
Secondly, I really wish I had some good advice for you but I can only say that I feel your frustration. I met my initial weight loss goal in Nov. and thought, I can do 10 more lbs, I definitely have it to lose. I too lost and gained the same 5 lbs over the holidays but my scale will NOT move down and I am doing all the same things. I have even added some extra exercise and its not coming off. So, I decided to take a break. I was getting really frustrated and found I need to step back and take a look at how far I have really come. I have gone from a tight 20W to a size 10, a 2xl to a medium. I need to celebrate my accomplishments and set new goals for myself. I have a goal of adding in new exercises and additional 3 days a week, I need to quit smoking WITHOUT the weight gain and I need to focus on maintaining where I am. If the scale starts to go down, I will celebrate but if it maintains, I need to celebrate too.
Best of luck to you!!!

[valalltogether]

i just started really focusing on diet & exercise, but i can tell you that i've had days where i binge and its all because i start to freak out like i can never eat things i enjoy ever again.

what are you binge-ing on? do you allow yourself small quantities of what it is you crave?

for me its sweets..chocolate..cookies! so i've been buying those fiber one brownies, it keeps me sane. when i can get my hands on some high quality dark chocolate i pick that up, too.

but clearly you're doing something right, if you lost so much already. (!!)

good luck!

[guynna]

First, WAY TO GO -- don't minimize your accomplishment in losing ~70 pounds! ! ! I haven't been where you are (though I hope to!), but I'd suggest going to the "maintainers" pages to check for advice. There have to be some different mental "tricks" or habits of mind involved in maintaining.

[Lunula]

Thanks, guys - I do appreciate it! I'm just wondering if it's normal for people losing slowly to just get tired of the "lose weight" mentality? I've been a binger for many years and it isn't on one specific thing - sometimes it's salty foods, other times it is sweets, heck I've even eaten a bag of bacon bits before!

I think it's not so much about being deprived as I truly don't feel like any food is "off limits" for me - I just have to practice portion control and I fully understand that I may have to add 20 or 30 minutes onto my work-outs when I eat something truly decadent! I'm really okay with that - I think I'm just burning out on the "still have weight to lose" mind-set.

I've experienced so many positives over the last year - not just the weight loss: new clothes (and I'm enjoying shopping), I feel physically better, I've taken two amazing vacations (whereas before I didn't want to leave my house), I'm reconnecting with old friends and I'm actually enjoying working out. And I know that if I just kicked it in gear and really followed my weight loss program correctly, I could probably knock out these last 20 pounds in 3 months and then concentrate on maintenance...but I'm having problems with follow-thru! Hah!

Anyway, I hope it's normal to feel this way.

[ShanIAm]

I could have written your post word for word. Seriously....word for word. I was SO GUNG HO between January 2010 and September 2010. I lost over 50 pounds, looked and felt amazing! But I started to enjoy going out again way too much and indulging way too much and I felt like I was invincible to gaining weight back. But sure enough, I did. Around 10 pounds. And since September/October I have been fighting these same 10 pounds. And because it wasn't "new" weight I was losing but the same weight I had just worked so hard to get off, I started getting mad at myself. And that turned into me resenting this whole weight loss process.

I had to remind myself of a couple things --

1) I refused to gain more than those 10 pounds
2) I still look and feel good so I'm going to take the pressure off which helped with not feeling so resentful and angry.

I also needed a new motivator such as planning a vacation a few months out. So that is what I did. I have between now and the end of April to get my stuff together. I am re-motivated and feeling good again! And I am proud of myself for stopping it before it got worse. And that is what YOU need to do.

And believe me, I understand about the binges. Had a few over the holiday's.

In hindsight I am glad that I took a non-scheduled break from the weight loss rat race. It put things in perspective and I learned quite a few hard lessons from what happens when I go off plan. So next time I feel like I am getting to sabatoge my efforts I'll be more prepared to deal with whatever is going on as I know the consequences that come along with it.

So, my dear, for you -- lesson learned. First tackle those binge episodes you are having and then refocus your efforts.

Good luck sweetie!