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Old 01-11-2012, 09:05 PM   #1  
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Default Reunions After Weight Loss

Hey folks! I hope to get some input about your experiences with reunions after weight loss. I also wanted to splurge on what happened during a teacher's memorial, the first time most of my classmates have seen me since my heavier high school days. I apologize for my long-windiness, and how self-centered the following will seem. If you can't get through the post, please post your experiences anyway. I am curious to hear what your old classmates and / or teachers have said!

The memorial was a sad context for a reunion, but I saw a large majority of my classmates and teachers there - so it was a reunion in action. It was a day of feelings - sadness for the lost teacher (an excellent man), happiness at seeing old friends and teachers, bitterness at high school memories (I had a so-so experience), joy at seeing old friends again, and of course (my obsession since starting this weight-loss journey) me looking for reactions to the "new me."

To summarize the comments in a brief paragraph / list of selfish self-indulgence: A friend's mom directly complimented me on my weight loss, a couple of teachers commented on how great how I looked (one saying that I seemed to have "come into myself"), a couple of friends commented that I looked good, but mostly I simply assumed that classmates registered the weight loss to themselves and either did or did not have the opinions I wanted them to have (that is, caring at all.) More on that soon. On the whole, it was good, but awkward, to see teachers and classmates again. I felt stiff, my face started to hurt from smiling too much (do you ever get that trembly smile after working the muscles too much?), and I was self-conscious. But, I was also aware that I looked better than I did in high school, and was dressed much more nicely than they were used to.

Do you ever feel that old classmates scan you over and take it in without saying anything? I definitely saw a scan or two, and I can't read minds, so I have no idea what they were thinking. I imagined that they were surprised by how good I looked (LOL, if they don't say anything, I fully intend to imagine what they may be thinking, and to imagine it in my favor ).

If you love awkwardness as a source of amusement, you would have loved the meeting in the gym after the memorial. So many uncomfortable reunion moments. In an instance that I'm sure had little to do with how I looked, a classmate (let's call him Jon Doe) joined some of us in a small circle and entered by putting his hand on my shoulder (my heavily shoulder-padded shoulder.) Not having expected it, I was like "Woh!" and I am not certain what exactly he said, because it was somewhere between a mumble and an excuse. My two other companions were as clueless, because one laughed and was like "I have no idea what just happened." All I remember about Jon Doe was that he dated my friend and we didn't hang out.

Next awkward moment with Jon Doe - the supremely awkward hug goodbye. I hugged these particular classmates maybe two times goodbye, but I kept on seeing them, so we kept on hugging! Ugh. The last hug, I hugged each of these classmates, and then came Jon Doe. He was last, and it was super weird because I could not NOT hug him. That would be like "Oh, I'm not going to hug you." >.>

Do any of you guys turn super self-centered and self-conscious as I do during these types of events? I have to admit that I have been having those self-centered thoughts all day! Along the lines of (or exactly): "Do they think I'm cute now? Does HE think I'm cute now? Do I look thin in this dress? Do I look comfortable? Do my feet look stumpy in these awful shoes? Is it obvious that I lost weight? Do they recognize me? Are they overlooking me, like they did in high school? Are they stunned?" Hopefully people thought some of the things that I wanted them to think (good things!), but mostly, I'm glad to have seen people. And while some people lost weight (me!) some people gained weight, and I was with those friends when they commented on that weight gain. So maybe I got some comments between friends too (behind me back.) Mayhaps.
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Old 01-11-2012, 10:08 PM   #2  
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While I'm sorry that your reunion came at the price of a wonderful person, I'm glad you had a day filled with compliments.


Back in October I had my 5 year high school reunion. I was over 50 pounds lighter at that point and while nobody mentioned my weight loss outright, all I got were lots of "YOU LOOK FABULOUS." There were no men to impress as I went to an all girls school.

It was interesting seeing my classmates at a much lighter weight than I had last seen them. Even now I'm often running into people I haven't seen since I was at least 200 pounds. Their reactions are often a range of emotions.
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Old 01-11-2012, 10:26 PM   #3  
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Wow, fifty pounds! Nice job! I bet your classmates were super impressed. General compliments like "You look great" or "You look fabulous" are pretty safe, so I've gotten a lot of that. I've found that many people don't feel comfortable addressing weight because they're afraid that it'll be simultaneously insulting the former, heavier body image, and that makes complete sense to me (my mother has no such sense.) At the same time, I wish I had a mind-reading power, haha. Or maybe it's better just to assume they think good things instead of hearing what you don't want to hear. Even better, I wish I had a friend to attach to each group of classmates and to report back to me if they hear anything. Maybe you got this too, but my friends were quick to note weight-gain in our former classmates. One of my less delicate friends even said that someone looked so much worse and that they gained weight. Oh dear. About the girl who gained weight, she is certainly not AS thin, but still relatively thin, and very pretty. Some people just look for bad things.
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Old 01-12-2012, 09:16 AM   #4  
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I haven't seen any classmates in a while, but after spending 3 months in Europe and losing weight my own father didn't recognize me at the airport when I went home for Christmas LOL. And I didn't lose that much! Probably 15-18 pounds but I guess it really made a difference LOL. Everyone I saw when I was home said I looked fabulous. I don't feel like I look THAT much different but I guess I do...

I had a friend come visit while I was home who didn't say a word to me about how I looked. She looked like she had gained weight and her skin was terrible. I didn't expect her to say anything to me because she doesn't have much self esteem, but then I started thinking about how sad that is. I SHOULD expect my best friend to say at least *something*. She has had weight problems for a while now and I can tell more and more it's starting to get to her. Every time I suggest coming for a walk with me or going to the gym together when we were in college, she would always refuse. Anyway, people are strange. They are always concerned you might look better than they do. That's just their insecurities talking.
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Old 01-12-2012, 04:07 PM   #5  
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrxI_euTX4A <--- Song of truth

Yep, I can only assume that people had the same reactions to me that I had to them: some of them gained weight, most of them are the same, but I was only really happy to see those people I was friendly with in high school. We're always more concerned with our own appearances than others' appearances anyway, so we just have to be happy with ourselves. Haha, those people who were awkward are still awkward, and those people who were snarky are still snarky. xD The most you can hope from other people is that they are secure enough with themselves to be accepting of you too. Some people aren't even that! Self-confidence isn't just about weight.
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