I miss overeating (Potential triggers)...need a replacement behavior
I wasn't ever a huge binge-eater, but I was really good at grazing all day, especially when I felt especially trapped in my life. I'm in a much better place now and I'm making much healthier choices, but today I was missing the joy I found in overeating. It's just not fun or comforting any more!
I'm trying to figure out something to replace it with, because I still have times when I need some comforting, solace or some sort of stimulation. Some have suggested exercise. But it just doesn't do it for me like overeating used to. I used to cruise the fast food places on my route from school to home, or to and from work, to get my fix. I don't want to do that any longer. I quit it all. I used to cook a whole package of spaghetti, toss it with a whole cube of melted butter, fresh garlic and parmesan. I don't eat that stuff any more. I just can't.
I do find joy in eating kale braised in chicken broth, but just how much kale can one eat at a time? I guess I don't have the ability or the need to check out with food any longer. I guess what I miss is checking out. I miss finding appropriate comfort for myself (still don't know how to do that). I don't know what to do when I'm lonely but don't find what I need with the people currently available to me. I don't know what to do when I'm bored and I don't want to spend money, go on the Internet, watch TV, get creative...sometimes, nothing really grabs my interest.
So, maybe I'm in a transition. I'm trying to find the next new thing, something that's healthy and appropriate. I'm getting a new dog soon. But does anyone have any other ideas?
It sounds like there are two kinds of eating you enjoy and which bring you solace: grazing (nibbling all day long) and overeating (the big bowl of pasta with butter and parmesean).
The first one I get. Totally. I'm a big-time grazer, though less so now than before. Strangely, I've found Intermittent Fasting helps tremendously with this. If I'm not allowed to take one bite before 12 PM it helps me keep my mind off food. Instead I drink two cups of coffee with a splash of milk and 3-4 g of sugar (or 1 tsp hazelnut syrup). I drink it very hot, only taking sips. I reheat it 5-6 times over the course of 4-6 hours in the morning. It lasts until lunchtime and helps bring me that warm solace you refer to.
Coffee also helps in the afternoon too. Or chai, consisting of a teabag with half water half skim milk and a few grams of sugar.
The second one I get too. I'm a volume eater, I love eating huge portions of things. Finding lower calorie foods I can eat in large quantities usually means vegetables... which is what I tend to do. Roast an entire head of cauliflower with rosemary, steam broccoli with soy sauce and garlic, eat two beets roasted and tossed in honey mustard.
My way of handling both of these- grazing and overeating- is with food. Others may disagree, that you need to find non-food related activities to fill the void you seek with food. For me, finding healthy, reasonable ways of indulging in my cravings is fine. Sipping on coffee all morning helps address my oral fixation just as much as grazing without me feeling like I'm tricking myself and ending up grazing anyway. Eating huge amounts of vegetables is not only okay, it's GREAT- it's low in calories, high in antioxidants, and satisfied my desire to eat large quantities. I'd argue it's even better than eating the same amount of calories in bread and then painting your nails to keep oneself from overeating.
Maybe nonfood replacement behaviors are necessary for you, I don't know. Wish you the best as you figure out what works for you
Each night, I look forward to eating my skinny cow ice cream and my fat free popcorn with lots of spray butter! I do this EACH night! I make sure that I account for it with what I eat during the day. This is my special treat and my special time. I find that with popcorn it takes a while to eat and so it makes me feel like I am eating a lot! I love the kettle corn fat free popcorn, it is delicous and low in calorie!
What I wonder after reading these posts is whether we people who resort to food as a way of avoiding emotion or boredom need to find better food to go on doing this or to find other ways of dealing with emotion or boredom. I think that missing the rush of overeating but not finding it comforting any longer is a huge step ahead. Being there means you are ready to move on, to a healthier emotional life. Until we get to that place, maybe finding healthier food is a good idea... But I think our aim should be to grow emotionally, to the point of finding comfort in giving comfort, for example, and not in food any longer. Does this sound like raving?
yes it makes sense. but lofty ideals won't quell my need to stuff my belly till it hurts. thank god for kale b/c you can eat a whole bag and wake up thin.
I used to think I needed to eat myself sick. Dieting always sucked because I could never induce that food coma feeling. Overeating produced what was essentially a "drug high."
I read a magazine article about shrinking your stomach by eating only snack-sized portions, ever. At first I was miserable, but I did learn that the stuffed feeling wasn't a need, it was a want.
I found a lot of non-food ways to comfort and entertain myself, including reading, crocheting, other crafts, walking dogs for the humane society, swimming, writing, watching netflix movies... and I also still used food for comforting too, but in different ways. Kale isn't the only tasty calorie bargain.
I started exploring the grocery stores and ethnic markets for unusual fruits and vegetables, and other new, low-calorie foods to try. Condiments, marinades, salad dressings, snack foods...
Seaweed chips are fun (like crunchy kale, but saltier). I discovered that I love prepared squid (essentially slightly fishy squid jerky - it's sweet and pink).
Teeny little bananas are fun to eat. Cocktail fruit (a pomello hybrid) look like kelly green grapefruit and taste like lemonade. Lychee fruit feel like peeled grapes, and taste like sweet flowers.
I read about food more now than I did before. Right now I'm reading Paleo Comfort Foods (great cookbook).
You can find new ways to comfort yourself, and you can adapt recipes to capture the essence of old favorites without the calories.
For example, one of my favorites when I want to feel sort of full, is to make a huge frozen strawberry margherita. In a blender, or magic bullet I add frozen strawberries, prepared Crystal Light lime margerita or lemonade, and just a spash of diet Sprite or soda water. A huge slushy glass only has about 50 calories. Sometimes I'll have a second glass.
Learning new coping strategies is a pain in the tush, but the alternative is falling back into old habits.
Do you play an instrument? when I quit smoking 2 years ago my filler for that craving was trying to pick the strings of the guitar. It took my mind off all the stress and boredom that triggered me when I smoke and made me focus on something else. I stopped playing about a year ago, and started smoking again. So onto this new year I not only want to start losing 125+ pounds, I also want to stop smoking again. Hopefully be able to play a full song by the end of the year!
Learning an instrument like piano allows you to sit and really makes you take your mind off things, a little check out
You could try meditation or yoga if that interests you. It can be challenging at first, but sitting quietly, relaxing every muscle in your body, eyes closed, and just be, no thinking!
I'm trying to work through this as well... In fact, last nite I posted something in one of the forums that, all I want to do is EAT right at that moment, so I decided to try and curb that behavior I was going to get on here and write about it - try and take my mind off of it. It worked... short term, but instead of turning to ordering delivery, cheating my diet and being completely disgusted with myself afterwards, i turned to one of my medifast shakes... I hope that I can get to a point where I don't have to keep doing that.
I think keeping busy is going to be the only way for me to not think about food - exhaust myself out of my home, so that when I come home I'm tired and ready for bed, not ready to eat.. get away from coming home from work and sitting on my butt on the couch watching tv for 4 hours and reaching for food... Lifestyle change I guess... Still difficult.
I do know the feeling. My crutches are: chai tea with sweetener and low fat milk, coffee w lf milk, nice hot bath, when I was still single I just went to bed and sometimes slept till the next morning. Or eat something very low in calories-but then I usually just felt full not high.
Right now, when I feel the need to binge, I go to goal photo album and watch the photos or put on a pair of jeans that is really really tight...
Wow, I stepped out for a few days and you've all added so much for me to mentally chew on. Thanxs for all the great responses. I'll be journalling for days!
At the heart of the matter, using food and overeating for comfort, I guess feeling full felt so good for so long that I didn't know how to walk away from it. Or how to equate it with feeling bad. I've tried to find value in sitting with feeling empty, or at least not full. It makes me feel edgy and ill at ease. Eating makes that feeling go away.
I know that behavior does things to the parasympathetic side of my nervous system. I know I'm self medicating with food. I know this self medicating started at an early age. I've spent most of my adult life trying to figure all this out. I feel like I'm on the verge of some very big changes and this issue with overeating is about to get squashed. There are some strong clinging issues that are holding me back. Old, emotionally driven issues that have wrapped octopus-like tentacles around my identity.
When I'm not sluggish from overeating, my brain starts running like hamsters on a wheel. Self-doubt floods in, a state of anxiety sets in...its a vicious cycle. An old, old trigger that needs to be dismantled. That's what I'm working on this year. Lots of opportunities to work on the emotions behind this. I get hungry a lot!
I took up crocheting and made a tonne of baby blankets (and terrified my boyfriend lol) turned out to be a good thing because suddenly all of his brothers were expecting!
To counter this, my favorite ways are simply doing any activities that you like.
I learn to keep myself from thinking of food by doing things that really makes me forget about life for a while. This always happens when I am reading a good book as I am really into it.
Today I'm doing an exercise of fasting to purposely bring up issues I need to work on when I get hungry. I'm doing a 40+ hour fast, because frankly, I don't really get to physical hunger until I haven't eaten for some time. I want to find real, physical hunger again and be able to differentiate it from emotional hunger.
Issues that are cropping up so far today...
Boundless mental energy - I know it doesn't sound like an issue for normal people, but for me, having a lot of energy (emotional and mental energy, which is different from having physical energy) was really frowned upon in my family of origin. My mother had real issues with my naturally effervescent personality when I was young. The X had issues with it as well after we were married. These were two people in my life that seemed to need to put a lid on me, saw me as something that needed to be controlled. Even today, my youngest son, who is a lot like his father in many ways, is hiding from me in his "man cave". Every time he comes out, he darts into other parts of the house, hoping I don't find him and give him a chore to do are start talking with him. My oldest, who is more like me, is enjoying my company. We're making fun of each other today (we both have ADD) and laughing a lot.
Judgement - I'm getting a lot of things done today while I'm enjoying my mental energy. Laundry, recycling, cleaned out the linen closet, helped youngest clean his room, did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen...how much more do I need to achieve? When I'm not toned down with the overeating, I'm all over the place with getting things done. And when I run out of chores, I start picking at myself. It's like picking at a scab. I am afraid of picking at my kids. I don't want to start with the judgement on them. It's how I was raised, with constant criticism. I broke up with my mother recently (two months ago) and I was hoping that her dark voice in my head would fade away faster.
Questioning the fast itself - Is this really necessary? I'm bumping into natural hunger at the moment. If I sit with it for another 20 minutes, it'll go away. But I don't want to quit. I want to make it for the 40 hours. I have other challenges set up for myself later today. Like going out with my kids and not have to have fun that involves food. If I quit now, will I be able to do this again? As I get older, a lot of this sort of stuff gets harder to do. I want to conquer this hold that food has over me!
Okay, that's enough introspection for the moment. I am going to pay all my bills and do all my filing now!
I miss overeating (Potential triggers)...need a replacement behavior
, it's like we were separated at birth...
