So I saw a post a few weeks back about a fellow 3fcer who had an unfortunate experience with a nasty stranger, and though I felt so bad for her, I didn't have any input because I was fortunate enough not to have had any such experience... until now.
Yesterday I was at the mall shopping in the summer clearance juniors section in a department store... which I actually do fit into, but I also still browse mostly because I have a 12 yearold sister in law who is 5'6". There was a red headed teenager who was about my height and maybe 20 lbs lighter than me who was whispering and giggling something at her friend when I walked into the section. Her friend kept saying "stooop, stooop" which made me feel even more like she was saying something about me. I chocked it up to my imagination, I told myself I was being paranoid after reading that post here.
About an hour later I was going to wash my hands after relieving myself in the restroom and guess who walks in... redhead and friend. She immediately snatches her friends phone and starts repeatedly pressing a button... guess what sound the button made... MOOO MOOO MOOO MOOO. We were the only people in the restroom. Her friend once again pleading her to stop and snatched her phone back and went into a stall. I gave the red head a hard stare and walked out of the bathroom.
I tried not to care. I told myself I wouldn't let her ruin my day. I left the mall and went to walmart. When I returned to my car I had a parking ticket on my car... my very first ticket ever, because a little piece of my decal was covered, I've been driving that car with the decal in that particular position for 3 years and on this particular day the universe decided I deserved a ticket. I sat in my car and began sobbing uncontrollably like I haven't done in a really long time, and though I'd like to think it was, I don't think the ticket had much to do with it. When I finally came up for a breath of air there were a few people staring at me in the parking lot. lol. I was once again utterly embarrassed.
Now I'm wondering if there have been more proverbial redheads in my fat history and I just have been oblivious to what was going on around me until I read that post. I am so disappointed in humanity at the moment
Release the negative and cling to the positive! I know that mean comments and actions hurt, but we do ourselves more damage by focusing on them. Who is she to you? No one! She may be making comments now, but life has a funny way about it. We all know what they say about Karma.
I was a thin, active, and healthy teen; lost my baby weight after my first 3 kids, then life's difficulties piled up, and food became my comfort and escape. You are taking control of your present and future by making good choices now; she doesn't know what's coming to her. She wouldn't be making hurtful comments if she had any idea how quickly life can change for a person.
Focus on the good, and know that she doesn't represent all humanity. Look at all the amazing, determined, strong, helpful, selfless, and kind folk at 3FC!
A terrible day indeed, but try to rise above it and put the memory behind you. Thinking about it won't get you anywhere. Those girls aren't worth your time. and to be honest, if she was only about 20 lbs lighter than you, at 5ft, she's not exactly living the skinny life. Pot...meet kettle. (I'm 5ft and 170 and DEFINITELY not in a position to be judging other people's size) She'll get hers eventually - karma and all that.
Keep your focus. Sorry about the ticket. No fun!
Last edited by dogdaysofdiets; 10-06-2011 at 08:40 PM.
She's clearly not really a good friend. People like that suck and just remember, she never overcame so much weightloss. You have determination and grit that she probably does not have.
<3
I work in human rights, and this Eleanor Roosevelt quote gets used a lot in my office: "Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people." I've sort of tried to adopt that as part of my personal philosophy. If this girl had to put down a complete stranger to make herself feel better/entertain herself/whatever, that's a negative reflection on her--not you.
You are doing a PHENOMENAL job. Embarking on this journey takes an unbelievable amount of strength and determination, and that's something worth being proud of! Instead of beating yourself up about what that girl did, congratulate yourself for how you reacted-- not by turning to food for comfort, not by getting derailed, but by coming to us.
Last edited by GreatPerhaps; 10-06-2011 at 09:14 PM.
Aw hon, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Maybe the rude chick just found out she had an STD and needed to ruin your day to make herself feel better. If not, I hope one on her. Or something as equally disgusting.
As for the ticket, well that was just crappy timing. That just means the rest of the month should be smooth sailing.
I work in human rights, and this Eleanor Roosevelt quote gets used a lot in my office: "Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people." I've sort of tried to adopt that as part of my personal philosophy. If this girl had to put down a complete stranger to make herself feel better/entertain herself/whatever, that's a negative reflection on her--not you.
Thank you for this quote. I'm going to post it everywhere. I live with my mother in law and she people watches, but in a negative way. She looks for flaws in everyone and then will tell you what she sees and that's what she talks about with her friends. She is sooooooo shallow and it drives me crazy. And, she has done more than her fair share of saying hurtful things to me... but this quote puts in perspective for me. Thanks!
So sorry that happened to you! Maybe the ticket at least allowed you to have a good cry and let it all out.
That twerp you encountered will get her due. There is no way that someone with a personality like that is going to amount to anything. She will have a much harder time upgrading her personality than you will losing weight. And it's clear she doesn't even realize she has a problem.
You've gotten off to a great start on your weight loss. I hope you don't let this nasty incident derail you. There will be many obstacles in life, both in weight loss and in other areas. If you can bounce back from them, you are sure to be successful!
Aww sorry you had to experience that. She probably has a really horrible life and picking on other people makes her feel better somehow.
Don't let it get you down, kids are just mean and silly at times.
One time a few years ago I had an appointment and had gotten a great parking spot as I was rushing to the building a school bus drove past and a bunch of kids yelled out "fat B**CH" I felt really bad, I laugh about it now. It's just a moment in time and it'll pass.
yeah, I have had comments come my way about my size and I know how that can sting.
I feel sorry for that girl, she's looking at people and the world in a way that's negative and bad all the way around. she's young, so hopefully she'll be able to turn that around. as others have said, it's much more of a very lousy reflection on her than anything else (that has to do with you).
you deserve to have a good life and to feel good about yourself, don't let that stuff get under your skin.
Somthing I've learned, is that alot of people who have the audacity to make fun of others are struggling with insecurities themselves, and believe that making fun of/taunting those around them will make them feel better. Don't let them get to you!! Hold your head high, and know that YOU have accomplished SO much!!
Evil Stranger
Or something as equally disgusting.
