Location: Where ever I am I wish I was in the mountains
Posts: 7
S/C/G: 395.5/369/250
Height: 5'10
21, overweight, wanting to have a baby
Heres my story,
I am 21. I have been married for almost 3 years to the most wonderful, supportive man in the world and he is my life! We want to have a baby but it has been one thing after another. We have had family issues which have hopefully come to a close. We figured it would be as easy as doing to old fashioned baby dance and it would be that easy... Wrong.... I have polycycstic ovaries and I am overweight. I was going to the doctor and she didn't feel the need to really address the weight she just wanted to drug me up and force me to ovulate and it didn't work like the doctor said so I gave up quick fast and in a hurry. I thought the meds she put me on overstimulated my ovaries and come to find out I had cysts on my kidney. I changed jobs to a job I LOVE!!! But the downside is I lost my health insurance. Soooo now I am trying to do all of this without meds or surgury. I didn't know how to go about all of this so I had a friend at work that was counting calories... Well I figured I would give it a try so I joined the same gym and went on the same diet and IT WORKED! I lost like 30 lbs and I was trucking along then... Boom and huge smack in the face, she got pregnant and wasn't even trying and then she really didn't speak to me because she felt she was better than me so it hurt a little bit... Someone I thought understood and they all of a sudden change. So just like alot of things I started in life I gave up and I gained back ALL of the weight plus some.... A lot has happened to my husband and I in the past year and it makes this so much harder. But enough with the excuses! I am going to do this come heck or high water. I know it isn't going to be easy but we want a family and I want to be healthy and be there to take care of my child. So no insurance, polycycstic ovaries and a carb-o-holic I have my bumps in the road ahead of me but I know I can do it! If anyone out there has a similar story PLEASE share! It would be nice to know that there is someone out there that understands
So glad you took the time for yourself to join this forum. Here you will find so much support and the best of advice. So sorry that you can't get pregnant the old fashioned way .
I know having PCOS can be a huge road block in both of your goals, but 3FC actually has a whole forum of people who can perhaps help you as well. I'm not trying to chase you away! Stay here too, but the PCOS forum can probably help you find ways to lose weight and you can chat with others who have similar issues
I'm also working on losing weight to have a baby and have dealt with cysts for years now (we do have a daughter already, though) so if you have any questions about that let me know. Definitely check out the PCOS forum, they have a lot of good advice.
For me I've done the best with no sugar/no white flour. It's not quite as stringent as the South Beach Diet because I'll eat whole wheat flour but it works well for me. I know it's fairly comment for others with PCOS to find that a low carb diet works well for them. I also do weight lifting, which also has done wonders for my body.
However, the biggest, biggest thing is to find a diet that works FOR YOU. That you can stick to through thick and thin, through friends ditching you and your DH having problems. That is by far the best diet!
Do you think that maybe it would be best to wait a couple years, and in the mean time focus on losing weight and getting health insurance? Carrying a pregnancy to term, especially one that might have health-related complications, is enormously expensive even when nothing goes wrong. It might be worth it from a financial perspective to wait and improve your health to reduce the complication risks. Plus the fact that after a baby comes it gets 10x more difficult to find the time to eat right and exercise - especially when dealing with things like PCOS.
Whatever you decide to do, good luck! It sucks your coworker is being so awful.
It sounds like the calorie counting was working for you! Get back on track! You can start getting healthy now without health insurance.
Let your family know your plans to lose weight, especially your husband, as I assume you see him every day. He can be your biggest supporter and help you out in your lifestyle change. Even if he doesn't need to lose weight, eating healthy and exercising can't hurt anyone. My husband is skinny as a toothpick and he will come on walks with me and support healthy eating.
It will be easier to get insurance once you get some of your health conditions under control (which you don't necessarily need medication for)... and you're definitely going to want to be on an insurance once you get pregnant! It is expensive!
You've got plenty of time to have kids. You should really focus on your health right now. Getting pregnant at the weight your at should not even be a consideration. Your risk of complications would be ridiculous. Don't willingly put a child though that. If you were 38 I could understand wanting to take more risks but at 21 it's just unnecessary. I'm saying this out of concern, not to be a b*tch.
I also have PCOS. The south beach diet is hands down the best option for this condition. If you saw a dietitian/doctor for PCOS they would put you on pretty much the same plan without handing you the book. Small meals and low GI is the way to go. Whenever I follow SB I get my period like clockwork. Also high intensity cardio is your friend. Getting your heart rate up and sweating makes you body uptake certain hormones and normalize your hormonal profie.
I know personally that with PCOS the trigger foods and cravings can be intense. Dr. Stephen Gullo's (a very noted food psychologist) book "The thin commandments" changed my life. It teaches you how to prevent binges before they happen and to deal with the emotional rollercoater of losing weight.
A lot of people seem to be telling you to wait to have a baby. While this might work for them, everyone is different, and you may be perfectly ready to have a baby, so the "wait" advice is not necessarily what you need to hear. Also, for someone dealing with fertility issues, the "you have plenty of time to have kids" just doesn't ring true. It may take you a while, so I understand how you might feel the urge to start trying now. Provided you're ready if you do get pregnant quickly, then it's not a problem. You may be ready at 21 (I wasn't!), but I can understand why you might be anxious. Anytime you tihnk you might not be able to have something, you get more eager for it.
That said, it is a much better idea, for the health of your baby as well as your own, to lose the weight before getting pregnant. It really can cause a lot of complications. As you know, being at a healthy weight will also help your chances of getting pregnant.
The health insurance thing is a whole other story. It is very expensive even without complications, and if you have to have a C-section, or if your child has to stay in NICU, you'll be in debt for years and years to come. Is there a prospect of insurance on the horizon for either your husband's job or your own? Could one of you look for a job with benefits? If it's a possibility, that would be the only reason I would consider waiting. You'll be dealing with debt (or bankruptcy) for the rest of your lives if complications occurr.
Kids are totally worth all the money, etc., but there's something to be said for planning (or at least attempting to plan)-- it's the responsible way to do things. You are young, so even if you take six months or a year to lose weight and prepare financially, you will still have at least a decade of chid bearing years left, even with PCOS.
A lot of people seem to be telling you to wait to have a baby. While this might work for them, everyone is different, and you may be perfectly ready to have a baby, so the "wait" advice is not necessarily what you need to hear. Also, for someone dealing with fertility issues, the "you have plenty of time to have kids" just doesn't ring true. It may take you a while, so I understand how you might feel the urge to start trying now. Provided you're ready if you do get pregnant quickly, then it's not a problem. You may be ready at 21 (I wasn't!), but I can understand why you might be anxious. Anytime you tihnk you might not be able to have something, you get more eager for it.
That said, it is a much better idea, for the health of your baby as well as your own, to lose the weight before getting pregnant. It really can cause a lot of complications. As you know, being at a healthy weight will also help your chances of getting pregnant.
The health insurance thing is a whole other story. It is very expensive even without complications, and if you have to have a C-section, or if your child has to stay in NICU, you'll be in debt for years and years to come. Is there a prospect of insurance on the horizon for either your husband's job or your own? Could one of you look for a job with benefits? If it's a possibility, that would be the only reason I would consider waiting. You'll be dealing with debt (or bankruptcy) for the rest of your lives if complications occurr.
Kids are totally worth all the money, etc., but there's something to be said for planning (or at least attempting to plan)-- it's the responsible way to do things. You are young, so even if you take six months or a year to lose weight and prepare financially, you will still have at least a decade of chid bearing years left, even with PCOS.
Yes to everything here. I know how having cysts really puts a lot of pressure on you to want to TTC RIGHT NOW so you don't lose your window of opportunity. But even waiting a year to lose a good chunk of weight will make a huge difference when it comes to your health, the baby's and you and your DH's financial situation.
I think the suggestion of trying to find a job with benefits is a really good one, even if the job doesn't pay much the benefits will pay for themselves. I'm not sure where you live but I lived in a very high cost of living area when I had DD and my hospital bills (WITHOUT A C-SECTION) where over 30K . Thankfully, insurance covered everything but with complications you can be talking about a lot of money there.
We've decided to wait until I reach goal weight to TTC. I'm getting married in October, and I have a feeling we're going to have issues, but as a diabetic with mild PCOS, this is my doc's recommendation. 25 more pounds to go!!
I agree with the above posters... you have TIME. Take care of you first, so that you can be an awesome mommy when the time comes!!
We've decided to wait until I reach goal weight to TTC. I'm getting married in October, and I have a feeling we're going to have issues, but as a diabetic with mild PCOS, this is my doc's recommendation. 25 more pounds to go!!
I agree with the above posters... you have TIME. Take care of you first, so that you can be an awesome mommy when the time comes!!
We're in almost the same boat there (at the same height). I'm hoping to lose 25lbs before we TTC (so get to 155lbs) and I have cyst issues too so just wanted to say hi. Good luck and have a great wedding!
Thanks and HI runningfromfat!
Gosh, we do have similar stats... now if you're the same age as me I'm gonna think it's REALLY weird... BTW, our measurements are pretty close too. Weird!
Yeah, maybe it's just the shops that I'm going to? I actually live abroad so the sizing is a bit confusing so I'm making my best guess on the whole 10/12 thing (I have some 12's that are a few years old that are too big for me, hence the guess ).
Location: Where ever I am I wish I was in the mountains
Posts: 7
S/C/G: 395.5/369/250
Height: 5'10
Thank you everyone for your imput! I have to wait until November for open enrollment for insurnace at the company I am with right now. My husband and I are ready to have a baby but I don't want to endanger myself or my child by getting pregnant at this weight. If something every happened it would break my heart. I don't want to have a baby right away but it is in the future so I am using that as my motivation, but honestly I am not going to wait until I am almost 30 to have a baby. My job pays great but it was just a pain waiting on open enrollment...
21, overweight, wanting to have a baby
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. Thankfully, insurance covered everything but with complications you can be talking about a lot of money there.
