[littlebiskit]

So I had my psychologist meetings, including the full battery of testing, MMPI, etc. I figured I could have answered the questions the way I was supposed to answer them, but I told the truth instead. And of course, the bariatric psychologist has a lot of concerns regarding my mental state, and I think I'm quite a ways from being approved, if I can even GET approved. Depression etc. is not well enough controlled.

I'm kind of at my wits end, and wanting to give up even though I know that's not the right choice. I'm just so tired of failing. I don't know what to do next. Maybe just give myself some more time...

[ahyessophie]

Sending you a few hugs of support Hope things start looking your way soon.

[theox]

Those psych evals are part of the process for a reason. Being honest now may have saved you a lot of trouble down the road, and is hardly a failure. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.

[missangelaks]

I always say that everyone considering WLS should get counseling before, during, and after the process. For one, surgery only fixes the body's ability to overeat, it doesn't fix the brain....and another aspect is, we overeat for a reason....counseling can help you find that reason and make WLS worth the effort you will have to put into it for the rest of your life. I saw my counselor for a year before surgery and 6 months afterward.

Don't give up, just might be a bump in the road that would make anything you do in life better!

Angela

[jiffypop]

oh honey - please don't panic. take a deep breath. it's not the END - by any means. think about it - do you want to jump through ALL the other hoops, undergo the surgery, and then run the risk of failing it because of head issues?

do you remember some of your first posts here? i had to go back and re-read some of them to make sure my memory was working - you expressed doubts that you'd have family support, and figuring out how to take care of your little girl through your recovery. AND you were weighing the impact of your weight on your ability to raise your daughter. a lot to think about.

being honest with the therapist - while painful - was actually one of the best things you could have done. did you know that most overweight people have depression? it's not a deal killer - BUT it's gotta be addressed. the hormone changes that come with the large post-surgical weight loss affect depression, and it's real common for people who usually 'eat their feelings' to change their coping mechanism [shopping, sex, booze] because they can't eat their feelings anymore.

Think of this as a time to start learning the NEW habits that you'll need in order to stay on track with the surgery. Not sure if I've said this to you before, but I'm sure saying it now -

Surgery gives us a chance to re-learn and CHANGE everything that we THOUGHT we knew about eating and food.

Like Angela said, the surgery isn't on your brain - and it's not a fix for the head issues.

My surgeon always says that he's a surgeon, not a therapist.

Ready? take another deep breath. address the issues. Gotta tell you, these blasted issues raise their ugly heads for me STILL - after nearly 10 years! in fact, I had another insight last week - involving the fact that many people in my family think that they're helping me by giving me their discarded coats, dishes, appliances. and I'M SICK TO DEATH OF BEING THEIR DUMPING GROUND! they can take things to the recycling center or a charity shop as easily as i can.

[kaplods]

Originally Posted by littlebiskit

So I had my psychologist meetings, including the full battery of testing, MMPI, etc. I figured I could have answered the questions the way I was supposed to answer them, but I told the truth instead ...

How do you know how you were supposed to answer them?

The MMPI and many such tests have deception detecting questions built in (both for people trying to look better and for people trying to look sicker than they really are). It's a lot harder to fake than most people would assume (at least not without studying the test and it's administration and interpretation).

I did study the MMPI in college, but not well enough to fake it.


My guess would be that signs of deception or denial would count against you far more than honesty and depression.

[Leenie]

Originally Posted by kaplods

How do you know how you were supposed to answer them?

.

You can tell by the expression on their faces, I knew I had to answer them in a positive way or they would start writing down stuff like crazy... you can almost sense it..or at least I could.


.

[kaplods]

Originally Posted by Leenie

You can tell by the expression on their faces, I knew I had to answer them in a positive way or they would start writing down stuff like crazy... you can almost sense it..or at least I could.
.

I understand the feeling, but a decent pschologists shouldn't be so easy to read. That could mean that you were misreading their expressions and actions, or that you got someone inexperienced or inept.

It's possible (because I know it was a tendency myself when I counseled people) that the counselor was actually refecting your emotions. For me, it was just my empathetic nature - so when the person was expressiong positive emotions, I would (without even realizing it) have a warm smile on my face, but if they were sad or serious, my facial expression would reflect theirs as well.

Apparently it's a very common phenomenon, because our professors talked about it, but were divided on whether or not it was a good thing.

Some argued that it would affect the clients responses - resulting in exactly what you talked about - the client feeling that they were rewarded for positive communication and punished or judged for negative communication.

Other professors argued that it communicated "empathy" and that keeping a "poker face" would come across as a lack of concern or indifference.

In essence, we were told that it was an "art" to project just the right amount of empathy and concern and objectivity in a way that is less likely to be misconstrued.

I wouldn't assume that you're going to get rejected until you actually get the results of the report.

Even if they have concerns, they may just want them addressed rather than banning you from the procedure (for example either requiring some counseling before the surgery or recommending counseling after).

[Leenie]

Originally Posted by kaplods

Other professors argued that it communicated "empathy" and that keeping a "poker face" would come across as a lack of concern or indifference.

In essence, we were told that it was an "art" to project just the right amount of empathy and concern and objectivity in a way that is less likely to be misconstrued.

Yes, it is an art...and this is why its hard to find a good psychologist or at least thats how I feel. If I had to deal with some one who kept a "poker face" I certainly wouldn't want to go back... I sure as heck wouldn't want some one who would over reacted with concern either

.