GRRRRR! OMG, talk me down you guys!
I am experiencing evil PCOS PMS from beyond. I forgot what this is like and why I always prefered being on BCP.
I am not pregnant. It has been 87 days since my last period. I felt fine until this week. I have been snappy and cranky with my kid and DH. I want to scream, kill, punch, whatever. Total tantrum. I'm losing it, and I'm having a hard time keeping it together today.
I'm a reformed emotional eater, so I'm worried this is going to lead to an anger binge later tonight or tomorrow. Even though I want to I cannot actually yell at my kid or spouse -- they did not ask for this. It isn't their fault I'm all rage-y.
But their even just breathing the same air I do makes me want to scream. My kid cannot help it, she is a kid. But if I hear any more little kid chatterbox stuff today I will LOSE IT. Go to sleep kid!
My DH isn't trying to be anything other than his normal sweet self, but my body is so bloaty, sensitive, and hyper that if he tries to kiss me I'm going to punch him.
I'm so on the edge I feel like a crazy lady -- I'm either going to burst into tears or burst into violence. I feel that pent up!
A few months ago I had had some PCOS cyst crazy so I decided to come off the pill back then to give my body a break. I'd been bleeding for 3 weeks, had ultrasound, and my doc agreed that I could use a break to replenish my iron and get healed from the cysts going haywire.
I thought I'd wait til whenever it started again to restart a pack and if it went to 90 days I'd crank it back up with Provera or I'd try the Vitex route and see if that would help any. I know the Vitex takes time. Months more even.
I just don't know that I can take it for months more!
DH and I have been using condoms, I'm not worried about it from the pregnancy angle. And my preg test at the doc last week was negative like I expected it to be. (They always check to be sure.)
But now I'm torn between keeping on with the Vitex and hoping to just have a period whenever I have it. Maybe all this rage means it's about to happen? I sure hope so. I feel evil.
Last week I had seen my doc for Provera but she doesn't do that any more and instead gave me a 'scrip for BCP and told me to just take 'em and period would be when it is. At the time I was feeling ok, so I thought I'd just fill it and put it off.
But now I'm like PMS Monster.
What do I do?! Should I hang in there? Does it sound like period is around the corner? But this is like monster period. I much prefer mellow period on BCP. And what if it isn't around the corner? Do I endure the rage?
And what about other solutions besides BCP? Is progesterone cream something I ought to think about? Because eventually we want to think vasectomy for DH and as we get older I don't want to stay on BCP forever.
I know I make probably make no sense right now... I'm on the crazy train.
Thanks for letting me vent. But any experiences or stories or general "hang in there" type support will be welcome.
I guess diet wise I have to go to damage control and try not to get too wacked out.
Sigh.
A.