[kimicat76]

so the 6th was my birthday. i thought ok one lil strawberry and blueberry homemade shortcake would be ok for a cake. so i ate that. then the next day it was like i was a shark in blood filled water. i started eating everything. i ate my protein bars and my south beach nut mix. i ate a bunch of chex mix then had a large arizona tea. i ate a shlotzkys (sp) sandwhich. i told my husband and he got a lil angry. so then i had a small salad for dinner with some chicken. the next day we went to the movies and i had chinese food and some mixed drinks. today i got into the trail mix again. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!?!?! its like everytime i eat one lil thing thats considered normal eating i go berserk. =/ now im struggling to get back on track as the scale is pushing 198 again and its terrifying me =(

[Shmoops]

First off, I don't think that your husband should get angry with you for slipping up! This is something you're doing for you and only you. You have to stop thinking that a little cake is gonna kill you, it won't. You put yourself in a mindset, where you think you blew it bc of the cake, why not really blow it. I have done that plenty.... now I see it as life change, if I slip, oh well, tomorrow isn't today Good luck!

[ShanIAm]

I agree that for some people having treats in moderation is OK. It is easy for these people to get back on the bandwaggon. But for some people eating something sweet will trigger intense cravings. And if you are not strong enough yet to control those cravings or know how to combat them, over indulging on more bad foods is almost sure to follow.

I had a cupcake at a work gathering about two months ago. I had lost 45 pounds by then and a cupcake was not going to derail my plans for loosing weight but what it did do was put my cravings for certain foods into overdrive. I was able to resist a trip to the vending machine but I was a pretty miserable person for a while. It was like I had to have a mini-detox all over again.

There is nothing wrong with you by the way! This is a trial and error process. You learn so much about your body chemistry which is a great thing!

I am not saying you will never be able to give yourself a treat but maybe you are not ready?

Happy Belated Birthday, btw!

[kimicat76]

my husband said he got angry because he didnt want to see me throw all my progress away. he bought me the 100 calorie snack pack cookies last night, which i thought was a lil rude as he kinda slammed in on my computer desk and didnt say anything to me. this morning the scale said 196.6 so im not as bad off as i was. i somewhat got my diet back in check. its my TOM now so maybe that had something to do with it?? dont know for sure. but i usually get really hungry around then

[ShanIAm]

I think men (actually, people in general) have a hard time expressing certain emotions. While they may feel frustration or fear, it comes off as anger. Your hubby knows what the emotional drain being overweight does to you and he was probably very upset to see your old ways creeping back into your life. He is worried about you....he wants you to succeed for YOU.

I would give him the benefit of the doubt and accept his purchase of the 100 calorie snacks as his way of trying to help. The delivery of that help may not have been optimal but next time you are together, open a bag and say, "Oh, these are good. Thanks for picking them up". He'll feel good about that and his attitude will take a turn for the better.

Or you can just say, "Hey, I know you are angry but you are no more angry at me than I am with myself. I just need a little more support right now.".

[triasa]

Originally Posted by ShanIAm

Your hubby knows what the emotional drain being overweight does to you and he was probably very upset to see your old ways creeping back into your life. He is worried about you....he wants you to succeed for YOU.

I found this to be true in our arguments. Hubby's anger was really just fear for me because he cared so much for me.

Husband's sometimes aren't very good at expressing these feelings. But they're good at expressing anger. So if you can address his outburst something like this....well, this is what's set my husband on I back on a calm track:

"I know you're angry because you care so much about me and you're afraid that I'm hurting myself. I understand and I thank you for caring. But still, I feel disrespected by you when you raise your voice at me, even though you do it because you care and want me to stop hurting myself. Please, I wish you wouldn't raise your voice with me."

Just don't say he's "yelling" because that will start another argument because they don't think they ever yell.