In one of Geneen Roth's books, she made a comment that people eat the way they live. I have found for me some real parallels between binge eating and other compulsions.
One, I have a really hard time saying no to people, even when I know I am being mistreated. One example, recently I made plans to go on a hike and in the meantime I get an email from a casual friend who I know is looking at apartments, wanting to know if I wanted to go with him to look at apartments the same date I had planned to go hiking. This may be hard for some people to believe, but my first knee-jerk thought was: crap, I really wanted to go hiking that day, now I have to spend my day looking at apartments with ____. Then I caught myself with my faulty thinking and told my friend sorry, I already had plans that day, but I really struggled with doing that!
BTW, I also want to make the distinction that asking someone to go look at apartments with you is not mistreating someone, I am just saying I struggle with this in situations where the answer should be a "get lost" no brainer.
When I want to binge, I have a really hard time saying no even when I know I don't really want the food. I feel like once that food has called out to me, I have to say yes to it.
I have ten days abstinence from binge eating, BTW.
BTW, I also meant to add, for what it is worth, I am not a big fan of Geneen Roth. I've read several of her books and found some interesting insight, like the one mentioned in my first post, but her books are frustrating to me, like they never quite get around to telling you what to actually DO. Just full of observations and emotional connections, which help some. Thats just me! I just didn't want everyone running out and spending money on Geneen Roth books.
Roth writes excellent books that really help bring a healthy perspective to eating issues. No, she will never tell you what to do, just bring ideas for you to process and use to discard as you find a need. Not all ideas work for all people. Most resonate though, in some way.
I also have had a long standing issue with saying no, but have developed it over time. Saying no when it is appropriate is taking care of yourself and it applies to saying no to food that is not necessary for our health and wellbeing. No, in my opinion was a word I needed to learn as a positive in my life!
That's really interesting!! I too feel like once I think about the food I want to binge on, I can't say no. There are (a lot) of times where I try and talk myself out of it and I can get to the point where I understand that I don't even want the food, or I remember how bad it made me feel the last time. I feel like once "it calls to me" like you say, I have to eat it no matter what.
I do have a really hard time saying no to people as well. I'll pretty much do anything someone asks me to do.
Not sure if this relates to everyone, but it seems to be correct for me! I'm going to start think about other ways I live which which might correlate.
I've been reading a cognative workbook for weightloss and it's changed my ways of thinking, and how I self-medicated with food. Stressful? Order pizza...Angry? Chocolate...etc. I see the triggers and patterns now. Heck it's even made me less of a door-mat!
I have a hard time saying no, but I think of this: I feel my feel firmly planted on the floor, as if glued. I feel the word 'no' forming in my core, and when I say it, I say it clearly.
It's helped alot.
How you live and how you eat
