[guacamole]

I have been overweight for the past 6 years. Last year I tried to kick it in gear and lost 13 pounds. Although I have kept off 10 of those pounds, I haven't lost anything else and I have about 70 pounds to go.

I have a big event coming up this weekend, and it was so depressing trying to shop for a new outfit. Nothing that I liked fit me. I wound up with a plus sized number that I can't stand. I don't feel good in it and am so ashamed that I am this size (16W).

My youngest son saw a picture of me from my college days, and he asked in his innocent baby voice, "Mommy, what happened to your beautiful body?" If it wasn't so heartbreaking, it would have been cute.

I feel old and fat. I used to get compliments all the time on my appearance, and now no one ever comments except to tell me in round about ways that I look heavy (like my younger kids). I really hate myself and can't seem to lose weight. It's not like I sit around eating candy and cake all day. I find it hard sticking to extreme diets - I did raw food for awhile but the cravings for cooked foods got too intense. I do eat for comfort - carbs are an addition for me - even healthier carbs like potatoes or corn.

I know that I am going to feel awful about myself in my huge outfit tomorrow, and won't get any sincere compliments on my appearance. Either people won't say anything or they will tell me I look "nice" because they know I will have made an effort to look good and must say something. I also feel bad because of course, last year I made a promise to myself that I would be thin for this event, and I didn't get there. I find that I keep setting deadlines and goals, make a start, and then give up. The deadlines come and go and I am still fat.

I just wish I knew how to get myself in check.

[hatgirlie]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I understand how you are feeling. Please watch this video. It's a bit long, but well worth it. I hope it helps. Don't give up. Something has to 'click' inside you to where you make losing weight the priority in your life. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM

[nationalparker]

Okay, Guacamole - first off, when you start to get dressed tomorrow, put on some ROCKING music. DO your hair, your face up and put on a big smile. Then put on your clothes. Chances are you'll feel a lot better in spirits by that point. You can feel crummy, sure, but then you're kind of feeding into that downer... But really TRY to do things to make yourself look like you feel good - choose some nice accessories you have for your outfit. Don't worry about the size - they're ALL OVER the place with the numbers - a 12 here is an 8 there, and a 14 over there.

Join us in the 40-something forum (if you haven't popped in yet today, I'm heading there now...) - you'll find support - we check in on each other - give good ideas to cram in more activity, or whatever you need! I sound a lot like you - I LOVE the carbs - and love life, so I'm not going to spend the rest of my life not eating foods I love. So just enjoying them in moderation and remembering that there will always be pizza or cake or whatever - I literally say that out loud to myself sometimes... to get thru wanting more.

Today is your DAY ONE. Tomorrow is DAY TWO - no redo's in life. We don't start out at age 0 every time we mess up. Stringing together only successful perfect days defeats our purpose of learning how to improve at this. What three things can you do today to get this started?

I had a journal entry titled, how many Day Ones can I have? And then it "clicked" only one - the day I was born. And we just go from there. You're human and like everyone else, you face challenges. We've all set those goals that we let slip.

Now we've got 28 days - four weeks - until the start of memorial day weekend. What do you want to do in that time? And then set another small goal ... and another one... C'MON! You can do it!

[guacamole]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I thought I was in the 40s forum? I just wanted to look really good for this event, you know? I have really disappointed myself. I wanted to look young and pretty, and instead look fat and at least 20 years older than I am.

I know looks are superficial, but...

I did buy some matching shoes and earrings....I guess the ensemble looks good...but it would look better if it were 6 sizes smaller.

[guacamole]

You know....I just found something to be happy about. I just created a weight loss tracker for my signature....and realized that I actually am maintaining a 20 pound weight loss....not 10! Math was never my strong suit!