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Old 03-25-2011, 12:38 AM   #1  
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Default Balancing family's needs and cooking costs

I'm the primary cook in our household (DH, myself and DD 2 yrs old). While DD and DH both like veggies, they like very different kids of veggies. DD will pretty much only eat cooked veggies (her favorites are broccoli, cauliflower, corn, mushrooms, onions, and beans) while DH likes fresh salads and tends to hate cooked veggies. About the only things they both like that I cook often are pizza (whole wheat crust made from scratch, light on the cheese+tons of veggies) and taco salad.

I'm just getting so frustrated with it all! DH wants to lose weight and we obviously want DD eating healthy food but I'm really struggling to find the right balance. Add into that we just moved abroad and I'm really struggling to find affordable foods to make. We're going to try out some grocery stores that are farther away this weekend and hopefully that will help with affordability but I'm just not sure what to do about getting BOTH DH and DD to eat.

I'm someone who loves veggies and will eat them no matter what but I'm getting really annoyed cutting up all these veggies (frozen veggies pretty much don't exist here), cooking and then having either DH or DD refusing to eat. I asked DH about it and he said just make both every meal. Considering that I'm a working mom who also needs to get a good workout in, play with her daughter and prep meals every day that's not very realistic! Oh, and no way do I want DH helping with the cooking. He's not bad with meat but his idea of veggies would either be just lettuce or mixed vegetables lathered in butter.
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Old 03-25-2011, 12:48 AM   #2  
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Oh, and no way do I want DH helping with the cooking. He's not bad with meat but his idea of veggies would either be just lettuce or mixed vegetables lathered in butter.
So... why can't he be in charge of his veggies then so he's happy? And you deal with the rest for you and the kids?

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Old 03-25-2011, 12:53 AM   #3  
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So... why can't he be in charge of his veggies then so he's happy? And you deal with the rest for you and the kids?

A.
Mostly due to space/time issues. We have a really small kitchen and just moved so we don't have a lot of stuff to cook with. If he were to make his own veggies he'd a.) probably not make any at all b.) if he did would use the pans I need to cook our food and c.) take up a lot of space in our kitchen so I wouldn't be able to access the stove for a good chunk of time. Plus two nights a week he has to teach a night class and gets home very, very late so he just eats what I made earlier and goes to bed.

We've tried the whole cook your on food thing and it wasn't pretty. Things just go so much more smoothly when I cook (don't get me wrong he does A LOT around the house so I don't mind). Plus, DH is also trying to lose weight and I know this is one way I can help if I can just get him and DD to eat the same meals!
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Old 03-25-2011, 01:11 AM   #4  
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Maybe: everyone gets their preferred veggies, but they get the same ones two days in a row. That way, you'd only need to fully prepare one style (raw or cooked) of veggies each day. Day 1 make enough cooked veggies for Days 1 and 2, then Day 2 prepare enough raw veggies for Day 2 and 3, then Day 3 go back to making enough cooked veggies for two days, etc. Everyone gets what they need and like, and you get a break, and the only concession is a little less variety. Just a thought.

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Old 03-25-2011, 01:15 AM   #5  
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Can you "sneak" vegetables in? I do that for my own sake hehe. Vegetable based soups, beyond just chopped up vegetables in both or minestrone, such as cauliflower-carrot cream soup, cream of broccoli, creamed spinach (use a potato instead of cream to keep the flavor/consistency for all of these), roasted red pepper soup, chicken tortilla/"taco" soup, and more are great ways of getting veggies in without realizing it. I know they are cooked but they aren't the typical steamed/roasted ones so perhaps your DH will be amenable. (I also don't like plain steamed/roasted veggies and I love these recipes).

Carrot-apple bran muffins, veggie burgers with carrots/onion/diced peppers in them, and pumpkin goods (pumpkn bread or flour with WW flour and less sugar), and low-fat spinach dip with carrot sticks (steamed spinach with a *small* amount of low-fat cream cheese and parmesean, jut enough to give a creamy texture and flavor) are other ways I use to sneak veggies in.

I also live abroad and a few of us just started an Ethnic and Expat Support group. Would love for you to join to rant/share/discuss challenges of living healthy abroad

EDIT: Three more- Thai vegetable curries (simple ones with a jar of curry paste or peanut butter + coconut milk), eggplant parmesean, vegetable lasagna?

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Old 03-25-2011, 08:56 AM   #6  
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I can't really help in terms of money. OUr grocery bill is outrageous and actually our BIGGEST expense each month... but here's why... I want what I want for my diet. My husband wants what he wants. My 7 year old is a special needs eater. My 3 year old is somewhere in between. Most meals each person in our house has their own meal. It is hard on me - but the alternative is eating the same as my husband and that is one of the reasons I ended up 264 pounds. He'll eat my food every once in a while but I am just not going to complain about it. I want to lose weight and at this point the effort is worth it.
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Old 03-25-2011, 09:19 AM   #7  
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Thanks everyone for the suggestions and the one where I make enough veggies for two days in a row is a great one! I think I'm going to start doing that.

I really do try and sneak in veggies but then DH complains like crazy! I had some leftover sprouts that I threw in some stroganoff last night and he somehow managed to find them in there and complain.


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Originally Posted by stacygee View Post
I can't really help in terms of money. OUr grocery bill is outrageous and actually our BIGGEST expense each month... but here's why... I want what I want for my diet. My husband wants what he wants. My 7 year old is a special needs eater. My 3 year old is somewhere in between. Most meals each person in our house has their own meal. It is hard on me - but the alternative is eating the same as my husband and that is one of the reasons I ended up 264 pounds. He'll eat my food every once in a while but I am just not going to complain about it. I want to lose weight and at this point the effort is worth it.
Part of the problem is too that if DD sees DH eating crap then she BEGS NON-STOP For it too. We were with the in-laws for 2 months before we got our apt and they fed her so much crap that we've been really struggling to get her back to a more normal diet. If I make something like a taco salad I'll crumble up a few doritos in there to add a bit of flavor (the rest is a bunch of veggies and a small amount of ground beef). Of course the little stinker then picks out all the doritos first no matter how small I crumble them up!

Plus DH is really picky and if there's something he doesn't like in food he'll pick it out of the food (like onions) and, of course, DD does the same even if she likes them.

Oh, and I budget a lot for our grocery bill. I don't mind it being high but at this point it's at a ridiculous level (I'm talking about around $50 in the local currency, which would be about equivalent if you were paying $50/day in the US for food!). I know people eat on less here but the way the in-laws do it is basically only eating beans as their veggie (they eat rice, beans and meat once per day and then eat bread+ham+cheese for both lunch in dinner).
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Old 03-25-2011, 09:54 AM   #8  
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Running- you do have alot to deal with. My 7 yea old pretty much only eats white or yellow food. There is some clinical name for it but I don't like labels. I just try to manag her eating so she desn't get over weight. I also try to manage her activity level. It has been since she started eating food at 8 months old and I kept thinking she would grow out of it but she hasn't yet. If I force her to try something new she gags and even pukes. The only thing of color she eats is ketchup and pizza (cheese only).

My husband eats each meal like it is his last. It has to be enormous servings and full of meat and if it isn't from a cow it isn't real meat. He likes it to be the square meals o yesterday: Meat, potato, vegetable. Of course no onions or garlic.

I like onions and garlic. If my husband and I are eating close to the same thing I still cook mine seperate so I can flavor it how I want. The flavor means a lot when you are on a diet. I figure it is okay b/c I can measure everything out and have an accurate calorie count if Icook mine seperate anyway.

My little one is happy go lucky and eats a little bit of everyones. She has to have what big sister has or she feels left out. But, she also eats salad and veggies and such so she gets that too... cut for a 3 year old.

I guess this is just something I have to live with. It is therapy for me to talk about. I don't think what I am doing is the RIGHT answer- but, for me right now it is working. I am lucky enough to be a stay at home mom and so I should have the time to dedicate (I say should b/c I am so busier then I think I should be).
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Old 03-25-2011, 10:22 AM   #9  
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I agree that he either needs to be less picky or prepare his own foods ahead of time. Wow. I just can not fathom making shopping and cooking to so many different preferences. Along with the dishes and all that jazz, no wonder it drives you nuts. You must never have time to do anything else in the evening.

So did you say you are a personal chef for a living? Do they stop by and give you their order? I am thinking you're underpaid....just kidding.

Seriously, I have no idea how to make that cost less except for everyone else(you aren't included) to give a little and try something outside of their box.

Last edited by 4star; 03-25-2011 at 10:24 AM.
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