[ncuneo]

I have the WORST baby fever right now. My co-worker/friend is having their second this week and it's just killing me. I've had it for a while, but this is just making it 10 fold. My DS is 2 1/2 and I'm ready, but financially we just can't right now and we're not really sure when we'll be able to.

So I know a lot would change if there were two, I know a lot for the better, but I need horror stories so I can just be grateful for the amazing family I already have.

[bargoo]

No horror stories, sorry. PS the world is full of people whose parents couldn't afford them. The parents always find a way.

[ncuneo]

Yeah, I'm not of the "you'll find a way camp". If I can't afford daycare for two kids, I can't afford it...there's no finding a way about that.

Come on nothing? Like juggling diapers and spit up and a toddler is really really hard? Please don't tell me it's as wonderful as I think it is

[bargoo]

I think you are trying to talk yourself into it ......

[NicoleInCt]

I have 3 kids, and the way I look at it, unless you are really well off, money is always a bit tight, but you make it work. Realistically, will there ever be a perfect time for you financially?

[seagirl]

You'll never pee in peace.
Your son will be sad that you are paying attention to someone else.
You could have triplets!
More diapers.
That new baby smell from their tiny fuzzy baby head. (Oops, sorry, that one snuck in there)
No sleep.
Expensive little moppets.

Is any of this helping?

(second of 5, so really I can't imagine why you don't want 2. Or 5.)

[DisgruntledOne]

My sister and I are 8 yrs apart. We grew up in a way many people I know didn't.
My parents had time to begin raising my sister alone before I was born, when my sister left for college I was in jr high and therefor also had my alone time with my parents.
There was almost no sibling rivery. How could there be we were in two different age groups so didn't have the same interest. That meant no fighting amounst us. Well of course part of that is because we were wonderful children of course.
Way better to space out your children.

[morecowbell]

They become teenagers one day.

[katy trail]

because it's going to kill you to stay in a certain cal. range when you've got raging pregnancy hormones telling you to eat the shingles off the house because you're eating for 2 and you deserve it!

because getting back into shape and losing ALL OVER AGAIN....let's not go there.

[Kateryna]

It would definitely be very hard with the daycare. Right now for the daycare in Canada, I am looking at about $2,300 per month for my two toddlers and that's why I am stay at home mom ;-) You might have to buy a bigger vehicle to hold two car-seats comfortably. Probably would have to discipline your oldest one about being quiet in the house when the baby is sleeping.

I am all for kids but I am also not from the "make a way" camp ;-)

[LTs girl]

Okay here is my theory. The first baby is so cute and easy. Then you want another when they get too big to "cuddle". Then you have the second. Let me tell you there is a reason there is 4 yrs between our second and third child. Her nickname by age 18 months was trouble. I (this is personal experience) find that my son is so easy and my girls are soooooo emotional. Horror stories. Let's see, at age 2 she painted the dog and my walls with butter. At 3 she cut her friends hair right down the middle of her head. About 2 inches long 1/2 inch wide. Her mother had to do a comb over with a clip for months. (Yes we are still friends. lol) At age 4 she tried to shave her legs with my razor. Let's just say, lots of blood and screaming. (Don't worry it was just a nick, but it looked like a lot of blood, especially to her) There have been plenty more horror stories since then. The latest is she tried smoking. How's that for some horror stories?

Here are some more:
Money.
formula is expensive (if not breastfeeding)
Diapers all over again.
Money.
No sleep.

[astrophe]

Baby urges are just biology, probably triggered by the coworker. When you are ready across the board, you will be ready across the board -- not just bio, but finances, emotional resources, space in the home, time resources, spirit, mental, etc. BUT REALLY EXAMINE YOUR RESOURCES!

Don't just "make room if it happens." Even if you are rolling in money, you are not rolling in everything else.

I don't care what others say -- there's only 24 hours in a day. Right now you have a spouse, you, and your kid. That's 5 relationships. You have to sleep 8 hrs. And another 8 at least whether you are a WOHM or SAHM doing the non-kid duties.

Which leaves you 8 hrs in which to have these relationships:

1. You by yourself
2. You and your spouse
3. You and your kid
4. Your spouse and your kid
5. All 3 of you.

Everyone gets something like 90 min each.

Add another kid? That's not adding one new relationship. You get

1. You by yourself
2. You and your spouse
3. You and your kid
4. Your spouse and your kid
5. All 3 of you.

PLUS

1. You and new kid
2. Kid and new kid.
3. Spouse and new kid.
4. You and kid and new kid.
5. You and spouse and new kid.
6. Spouse and kid and new kid.
7. You and spouse and kid and new kid.

Now you are down to a bit more than 30 min each, and you know it isn't going to be "fair" like that.

Even if the kids are playing together and building their kid & new kid relationship, guess what? You'll be there as referee.

Even if fairly distributed in terms of time for each relationship, the two kids will still suck up most of the time because there's only 2 relationships going on that don't have a kid or both kids in it somewhere. (Yourself and you and spouse)

That may be sacrificed in service to the kids -- leaving you with no "me time," no "couple time" and rarely one-on-one time with the kids.

They usually get lumped together or the eldest gets fobbed on dad while mom does baby care because she's the one nursing.

And that's just the time resource. We haven't even gotten to the other resources -- emotional, spiritual, mental, space in home, etc.

If you want to cuddle a baby, it would be a whole lot easier to offer to babysit the coworker's baby!

A.

[bargoo]

And then there is the first smile, the first tooth, the first words, mama and dada , the first steps...........

[bargoo]

And before you know it they are off to college and you and DH are all alone wondering where the time went.

[DisgruntledOne]

or just could get a cute new puppy or kitten.