We all know it goes. You meet your friends and hit a restaurant or a potluck party or just someone's house for a friendly social meal, and you all eat until you're full to overflowing and everyone goes home feeling stuffed and guilty. I am stuck in a loop like this. My friends are mostly thin to normal sized 20-somethings and we are all bound by our shared love of food, which is great and all except we end up overeating every time we spend time together.
How do you handle the all-too-easy overeating that comes with social situations, especially potluck parties and eating out?
This is my biggest struggle. When I'm alone, I rarely overeat (it happens on occasion, but it's much easier to pinpoint the reason-- tired, stressed, sad, etc). But, when I'm with my two best friends, I lose all sense of reason and control. For some reason, it's only with those two. With any other friends, I still eat normally, but it's almost as if they are a trigger. I associate them with food.
Just last night I went over to my best friend's house. It was after 8:00, I had already eaten dinner, and there isn't a doubt in my mind that if I had stayed at home, I wouldn't have eaten anything else. Instead, I went over there because she'd had a bad day and asked me to come. On the drive over there, I tried so hard to convince myself that I wasn't going to mindlessly eat everything I saw. Within minutes of walking in the door, I'd had a handful of M&Ms. It spiraled from there, and I'm sure I consumed an extra 1,000 calories easily.
Wow, sorry, I didn't mean to start venting. You're certainly not alone in this, though unfortunately, I don't know that I have any advice to offer. Anything I could say would be a "do as I say, not as I do" sort of thing, which isn't exactly helpful.
No really helpful advice here, but if you figure it out, let me know!! I went out for happy hour yesterday. We started out okay, sharing a chicken lettuce wraps, but more people joined and pretty soon I'd had 4 drinks, some sweet potato fries and a couple of chicken strips. Oh, and then we had dinner. I'm like 1500cal over for the day. Nice. The only things I can think of that might help me a little are to avoid drinking (or absolutely stick with just one) and avoid hanging out in booths for hours -- go to bars where standing and moving around are required... but really I have no idea.
If I know the restaurant we are going to, I look up the food and nutritional menu on line at their website and plan my whole meal from there. As for the drinks I only drink water anyway (it's cheaper). The only thing I eat is what I planned, that way I know how many calories I am eating. I tend to shy away from restaurants who can not produce some sort of nutritional information.
It's tough. The key is to plan, plan, plan! If you know where you are going check out the menu and decide what you will have. Then, this is the tough part, stick to your plan. Things can be tempting but you just have to tell yourself, once you have eaten what you planned, you are done.
It is very, very hard the first couple times, but now it comes like second nature to me. Once I am done with the food/drinks I planned for, I occupy my time by telling stories, manning the jukebox, or challenging someone to pool.
Dusti-- I'm usually golden at restaurants; among my recent successes are going to brunch with a group of friends and successfully avoiding ALL brunch-y foods, opting instead for an espresso and a chicken-asparagus-feta salad, without the feta or dressing. I was so proud of myself that day.
But non-restaurant social gatherings are different. I can't just order and commit to a meal, I have to be around food for hours and might be directly offered food. That's what hardest for me... being around friends who are eating and savoring the food (even when they're probably also being irresponsible / gaining weight as a result). I can't tell them I want to lose bc at least a few will weigh more than me. So then what?
Last edited by lackadaisy; 02-05-2011 at 02:13 PM.
I can handle the restaurants. I do exactly what Dusti does. Social gatherings in friend's houses...forget all about my will power...2000 calories later
It is kinda sad that my weight loss is dictating my friendships right now. BUT, I want to get thin, and I will avoid situations that I know I will fail.
I had sushi for lunch with some girlfriends. I knew beforehand what i was going to order and how much. We usually do dinners, but dinners lead to drinks. So today I met my friends for early lunch 11:30. We had delightful time, and my calorie intake was controlled.
[/QUOTE]But non-restaurant social gatherings are different. I can't just order and commit to a meal, I have to be around food for hours and might be directly offered food. That's what hardest for me... being around friends who are eating and savoring the food (even when they're probably also being irresponsible / gaining weight as a result). I can't tell them I want to lose bc at least a few will weigh more than me. So then what?[/QUOTE]
I understand. I know this sounds funny but I eat slower so I can be munching on the same piece of food for a while, while the others have had multiple. I would hope that if you did mention to your friends that you wanted to lose weight that they would comply with your choices. I think you have to be really strong in this situation because you have to say no to the food you want and still make it look like you are enjoying yourself
Yes, friend's houses are much harder! I always bring a healthy option too (veggie tray, big salad, "diet" appetizer) and load up on it, and eat smaller portions of the bad stuff.
Height: 5 ft 8.5" athlete who can give a punch & certainly take one too! :)
Hmmm maybe instead of always having eating gatherings, why not go out dancing together or shopping, trying on clothes burns calories & FUN regardless if you BUY anything or not, or maybe have a working out sweat session party from time to time, go to a movie etc., go get your hair done, nails etc. It doesn't always have to be about eating when your socializing- me & my friends get together to go rollerblading, walking the malls etc., being active is more important to us than always chowing down!
Last edited by evilwomaniamshe; 02-05-2011 at 02:28 PM.
I can relate, and it's even worse when the social gatherings you go to are hosted by family and family friends, where the host may be offended if you don't stuff yourself. What I do is to just consider these days as cheat days and then go back to the plan the next day.
It is sad to say, but like "drinking buddies" for alcoholics, I used to have "eating buddies". These were women who I went to eat with all the time, usually at fattening restaurants. As I lost more and more weight, I noticed that the majority of those women were not truly close friends, but merely eating buddies.Consequently aside from eating we didn't have much in common. I rarely go out to eat with anymore anymore as I find that eating at home helps me keep on track and right now anyway I need all the motivation and progress that I can get. I know this may not work for many people, but for right now, it is working for me. I really am trying to avoid "people, places and things" that are triggers to bad eating for me. I guess I am sick of being sick of myself failing and I set myself up for success. I hope this may help someone else.
Social Overeating
And I have no ideas.
