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Old 01-18-2011, 10:53 PM   #1  
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Default My husband is a jerk

Today was the first off day I've had since starting weight watchers. He gained a lot of weight this year too. He used to work out a lot...was pretty fit. He's lost a lot of weight since I started WW...because of me. Because he's been forced to eat better. He actually said to me...


"You didn't count points? I don't want you to fall off the wagon"






I'm sorry what? It took you over a year to quit smoking...please go f*ck yourself now...thanks.
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Old 01-18-2011, 11:00 PM   #2  
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I know how bad it is to have a husband who doesn't always think before he speaks. Make sure he knows how much that comment bothered you, because he needs to be supporting you!
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Old 01-18-2011, 11:17 PM   #3  
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Ya know, I have been known to smack my hub on the back of the head when he is being an idiot. Actually, he's an idiot a lot more than he gets smacked for.

We've been married for 33 years and some days I still can not believe the stupid drivel that falls out of his mouth. It's like the brain is in reverse and the mouth is in overdrive.

Just noticed this is the 20 something thread. Lol. That would not be me.

Last edited by shcirerf; 01-18-2011 at 11:19 PM.
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Old 01-18-2011, 11:39 PM   #4  
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I know the feelings - my man has lots of opinions on things that he shouldn't! We were driving to the grocery store to pick up some fresh stuff for dinner tonight and he points out that Round Table pizza is 50% off today. Pizza is sooo my biggest weakness. I ask him "Do you want that or the food I was going to cook?" He says "Doesn't matter to me. Up to you!" ... I struggle for a moment and tell him that we will stick to the plan. He actually says "Good! You passed my test!" --- WHAT?! YOUR TEST?!?!?! *%(#(&%)(#)(#(&%&$#(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Men are stupid sometimes. Tell him he is being stupid and do your own thing!!
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Old 01-18-2011, 11:47 PM   #5  
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My best friend said something today that made me laugh, "Boys are stupid, lets throw lemons at them" They seem to fail epically when they are trying to help. My boyfriend is the very same way. He never means anything bad. He knows how much my weight bothers me and wants me to feel better, but his way of being supportive tends to be unflattering and downright insulting comments. The worst part is when he doesn't realize he did something wrong and acts like I'm mad for no reason! Men are just insensitive, which is why I'm glad I found this site!
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Old 01-18-2011, 11:52 PM   #6  
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Its just amazing to me that there are women out there who regularly hear this kind of stuff. My DH has NEVER said anything about my weight. If he ever does, its never hurtful, only after I bring it up, and its always about him wanting me to live a long life with him.
I don't know how I would handle hearing stuff like this...I'm sorry you girls have to hear this stuff. I really am...
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Old 01-19-2011, 12:20 AM   #7  
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I know the feeling. My skinny boyfriend is always asking me how many points I have left and what I can eat. Or if we go out he will ask if I can eat what I am ordering. I finally told him that I hate when he does that and I wouldn't order something that I couldn't eat.
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Old 01-19-2011, 12:26 AM   #8  
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i know that was probably not the most tactful thing to say but... am i the only one who thinks his comment wasn't that bad? i mean of ALL the mean things he could've said... just sounds like he was trying to be supportive but said something dumb instead... don't stress over it too much.

could be way worse, you know, you could have a partner who is really NOT supportive of your weight loss....
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Old 01-19-2011, 02:24 AM   #9  
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I'm with Kawaii, this didn't sound too deprecating to me, more like he supports you and wants you to stick with it. Now I can't speak to his motivation, but I think it's pretty innocuous as far as comments from significant others go.

My hetero life-mate can't handle me talking about ANY type of calorie counting. She seethes about it. So I have to be quiet and log on my own/calculate before I suggest food options. I would so rather she cared and paid some attention to keep me honest, or that she said a word about the 36 pounds I've lost in the last months.
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Old 01-19-2011, 07:44 AM   #10  
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Even though it sounds like he meant well, I would still be really annoyed if any man of mine said that to me.

My boyfriend jokes about being a feeder and always encourages me to eat massive amounts of candy at all times. We are both "normal" weight but both struggle with binging on desserts since I am a lady and he has a family history of alcoholism.
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Old 01-19-2011, 08:27 AM   #11  
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Ok so maybe what he said was pretty jerky, but it sounds like to me that he is a typical man that doesn't exactly have the best way with words. Granted my hubs has never said anything to me about my weight except how good I look and that he doesn't want me to lose any more past where I am right now.

Have you ever mentioned to him that you want him to help keep you accountable? I tell my hubs all the time that I need him to be my motivator to make sure that I go to the gym and sometimes when he starts bugging me about it, I get annoyed and ask him if he is trying to tell me i'm fat-hahahah seems hilarious actually typing it. In reality I just asked for him to do that.

It is very possible that your husband isn't the most gentle with words and he is just trying to help keep you on track because he knows that's where you want to be and he wants you to be a happy human
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Old 01-19-2011, 08:40 AM   #12  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LindsB View Post
It is very possible that your husband isn't the most gentle with words and he is just trying to help keep you on track because he knows that's where you want to be and he wants you to be a happy human
That was my first impression as well. Sometimes we are more gung ho than others and we tend to work well as a team. That's why after a really bad day I will walk through the door and my first impulse is "Chinese! Now!" He will pause, tell me to take a breath, an ask me if that's reeeeeally what I want to do. I do the same when he will decide out of nowhere "Pizza for dinner"- I know he might want it, but I also know we both throw it out there so the other one will reel the other back in. My DH has never said I am anything less than the hottest woman he's ever seen, so I don't get the offensive part of when he is just replaying my "let's be accountable and not eat out so much" speeches.
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Old 01-19-2011, 09:01 AM   #13  
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Maybe it's just one of those days...

I know some days I can take what people say and not be bothered...but if it's one of THOSE days yea I probably would have went on a screaming match with him. I prefer people not to mention about my weight or even ask about it.

I like to do things on my own and have someone say anything to me along the lines of "You shouldn't eat that" or "You shouldn't do this" would just piss me right off. Its my journey and I get you want to support me, but sometimes you just need to shut up and support me when I need you to, not when you feel the need to open up your big mouth! That's just me though.
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Old 01-19-2011, 09:10 AM   #14  
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I have to agree, there are husbands who say FAR jerkier things. It sounds like he's being supportive. If he said "lose weight or I won't love you anymore" (and a lot of guys out there say that) or "I want you to stay fat just like me", then yes, jerk, but honestly, it sounds like you have a great hubby!
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Old 01-19-2011, 09:15 AM   #15  
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I dont think he said anything wrong. Sounds like you are re-acted very defensively, which I can understand why, you want support for going off plan. Perhaps he doenst want to support that! Sounds loving to me! I just see both sides.
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