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How many people have a block wall, or two or maybe more? and if you could bulldoze it down then maybe we could reach our ideal weight without ever really feeling like it's been such a chore I thought if we thought of ways to bulldoze down walls or had experiment in the past with similar situations, then gave each other the ideas we could work on that issue also and possibly reach our target weight: yes: This is just a thought, if anyone else has an idea, because sometimes it's mostly the blockwalls that are keeping us from out goals.
The being noticed thing is starting to happen to me and it fels pretty weird. Not bad weird, just different.
I think that a lot of the walls we put up is because of our self esteem. How could anyone want to be around us/ notice us/talk to us because we are: fat, dumb, old, lazy, sloppy, a pinhead,... etc.. You get the idea. Everyone has their own list of personal put downs. I have a long way to go to stop thinking bad things about myself.
The only reason this weight loss thing is working for me now is for one very basic reason.. I don't want to die any earlier than I have to. Sure we could get hit by a bus tomorrow, but going with the odds.. fat means probably dying sooner. I am greedy. I want to get as many days out of this life as I can.
I put up the walls because of my poor self esteem. Being fat didn't make me have poor self esteem.. it just exacerbated it. Even when I was 125 pounds, I had a lot of the same feelings as I do now. Of course, fat is the ultimate wall, isn't it? A truly physical barrier to the real "us"
I have often asked myself what my roadblocks are...why do I always sabatoge myself? All I know that is when I am happy I look and feel my best....I will think some more about it.
Found this article this morning regarding roadblocks:
Lasting Change: Removing The Roadblocks
Special for eDiets
by Hara Estroff Marano
The route to lasting change and getting what you really want in life is through a sustained vision of the future. When you assemble a detailed vision of the future you want, and visit it regularly, it becomes an ongoing source of motivation to get there.
The biggest obstacle that people face in getting what they want in life is their failure to define what it is they really want. The next biggest hurdles are your own fears and doubts. Having a clear vision of a wonderful future is absolutely necessary -- but it typically stirs up a set of emotional roadblocks. These come at us in the form of fears both of failing and of succeeding, and in doubts about our own worthiness for success.
The fears and doubts make their presence felt in “negative” emotions. We fear that we can't really get what we want, that we will fail at losing weight because it has proved too difficult in the past, or that we'll never figure out how to get where we want to go.
The fears and doubts cluster around a few kinds of issues. All of them are false conclusions from past experiences that limit our future. And all are hooked to beliefs about ourselves -- that we don't deserve love and success and a wonderful future, that we are not good enough, that we do not have the power to create the solutions to our problems -- or beliefs about the nature of the world -- that life really requires struggling and even suffering.
Society, our parents, our religions and even psychology and our movies teach us that life is a struggle. As long as that is what we believe then that is what we will get, because we are powerful enough to create it. As Henry Ford said, “Whether you believe you can or believe you can't, you are right.”
Fears and doubts are so unpleasant that most people go to considerable lengths to cover them up or banish them. “We use alcohol, cigarettes, food, drugs, overwork and even ‘positive thinking’ to distract ourselves from feeling them,” observes Ti Caine, hypnotherapist and life coach from Sherman Oaks, California.
But that is like calling your smoke alarm “negative” and attacking it with a baseball bat. Their purpose is to warn us that there are specific underlying beliefs that are endangering us, holding us back. Instead of squelching the smoke alarm we need to fix the fire.
“It's imperative to look at the roadblocks as a friend,” says Caine. “If you follow them to the core belief below the surface and then change that belief, your whole life can open up.”
Caine goes so far as to say that all our emotions are positive, even sadness and fear. They all serve a positive purpose. “They exist to help us move forward in life,” he says. “They are your very best friends, trying to call your attention to what is holding you back.”
Attacking the smoke alarm is the simple fix, and like all simple fixes it never works. Dealing with the underlying beliefs is honoring life's complexity; the irony is that if you work with the complexity life can actually get easier.
The beliefs that limit people are different for everyone: “I am afraid that I will never really get the love I want.” “I can't get what I want because I am not powerful enough.” But they all boil down to one bottom line: there's something wrong with me. Here is how to make your life more successful right now:
Imagine, as clearly as you can, your ideal future.
Feel the excitement, but pay attention to the doubts and fears that arise. Write them down.
Look under the fears and doubts to find the beliefs they are stemming from. Write those beliefs down.
Once you have identified the core belief that is sabotaging success, write out a new set of beliefs that you want to live by. Connect with the basic human truth that you are a valuable person, that you deserve love and success, that you are powerful enough to create your life.
Then connect with the feelings those new beliefs generate: that success feels great, that love feels terrific, and that there is lots of it out there.
Visualize a future that incorporates those new beliefs. You don't do it just once. You keep on doing it. That will continually motivate you to go through the process of peeling back the curtains on your core self until you tackle every belief that is holding you back.
As you get closer to the core you tap the source of all change and success -- self-love and forgiveness for past failures. We'll talk more about them in the next issue of Psyched for Success.
One of my block walls is my oldest daughter she's 15, a very difficult age, they think they know it all, and boy, my option in life is that it takes quite a while to know quite a bit.
We should start working on the block walls, taking down one block at a time, however we can fix it, weather it's other peoples ideas, read information on it, any idea and writing down goals and steps to get there.
I agree with you LindaT even though once I was 40 pounds lighter at one time, my self esteem didn't make a change, that part I thought was almost impossible, I work on it every day, but for some reason exercise does help, something about it.
I found out yesterday that when I tested for a position at a school my test scores wasn't as high as I thought they'd be, I passed the test but I wanted an interview, the job, the desk, etc. and that would make me feel like somebody, but it will happen soon, the right one will come along some day, until then I will work on weight control, and upgrading my skills.
I think one of my.... no, I know one of my problems is, is that I know I have some sort of ADD or mental block. I never start anything because I can never finish anything. Not that I don't want to, its just my mind wants to go in 5 different directions at the same time.
When I clean my house, it takes me forever because I will start out in the kitchen and as I am walking thru the house I am doing this and that in different rooms...point is, I didn't even finish the kitchen before I started something else. Like my crafts and sewing. I start and stop, start and stop accomplishing nothing.
Okay analyze that !! I dare you
How do I stay on a diet for more than 3 days ? I don't think in my case its a matter of not wanting to be thin, its just all of the above.
Fear of failure, perhaps Leens. You figure you are going to fail anyway, so you stop because."what does it matter.. I am going to screw it up again?" This is speaking of the dieting situation.
As far as your housework, you sub conscious mind is telling you that housework is stupid... Good for you for listening.
Thanks Linda T for posting that from e-diets, I just found it this morning in my e-mail. I thought of listing it myself. It's good for everyone to read. Gives us something to think about and work on, not that this is going to be easy, I still feel it as being very difficult, but maybe with reading it every day or every other day it will eventually sink in and then start on a change...permanently...I hope well, I got to go and clean my house, and Leens, I do that too when I clean, but I think I do it because I'm afraid I'll forget to pick up someones dirty socks, shoes, newspaper, or forget to get the trash out before dark (I don't like to go out a night because there are coyotes where I live). But, at least the homes we live in either get picked up or fully cleaned.
Originally posted by ladypal Happy Thanksgiving Eve everyone!!!
Thanks Linda T for posting that from e-diets, I just found it this morning in my e-mail. I thought of listing it myself. It's good for everyone to read. Gives us something to think about and work on, not that this is going to be easy, I still feel it as being very difficult, but maybe with reading it every day or every other day it will eventually sink in and then start on a change...permanently...I hope well, I got to go and clean my house, and Leens, I do that too when I clean, but I think I do it because I'm afraid I'll forget to pick up someones dirty socks, shoes, newspaper, or forget to get the trash out before dark (I don't like to go out a night because there are coyotes where I live). But, at least the homes we live in either get picked up or fully cleaned.
I can relate to the stressful teen scenario (last year) and I can relate to the not finishing stuff I start(always) but I think it is also that I get bored easily.
The new stumbling block for me is people that are close to me and mean to be helpful but make comments about the weight gain. They don't get it that I don't need to hear it. It hurts and makes everything worse. I eat to drown them out and to fight back in a very messed up way. Its a vicious circle with self esteem sinking.
I'll do the same thing, I'll be hungry and just pick at this or that and before you know it, I've eaten enuf for a small village. Ruffled potatoe chips has been my downfall lately, the greasier the better..mmmm....I just can't have them in the house or its gonna wind up on my hips. Actually I can't have anything in my house .
Shall we all go back to the drawing board tomorrow ?
Here we go !!
Love hugs and kisses (not the chocolate ones either)
What are YOUR block walls?
I thought if we thought of ways to bulldoze down walls or had experiment in the past with similar situations, then gave each other the ideas we could work on that issue also and possibly reach our target weight: yes: This is just a thought, if anyone else has an idea, because sometimes it's mostly the blockwalls that are keeping us from out goals.
You get the idea. Everyone has their own list of personal put downs. I have a long way to go to stop thinking bad things about myself.
If only I knew
: day
I still feel it as being very difficult, 
well, I got to go and clean my house, and Leens, I do that too when I clean, but I think I do it because I'm afraid I'll forget to pick up someones dirty socks, shoes, newspaper, or forget to get the trash out before dark (I don't like to go out a night because there are coyotes where I live). But, at least the homes we live in either get picked up or fully cleaned.
Sometimes I am just plain old lazy!!!!
