[carrie31324]

Does anyone have a verbally abusive ex that is constantly harping on your weight? I do, and we have a child together so it's not like he's ever going away. I blocked his phone number today, deciding emails are the best way to communicate for my sanity and self esteem. It is sooo difficult because not only is it depressing, it makes me feel like a failure!! I feel like it is holding me back from achieving any real weight loss!

[seagirl]

Can you have a third party read his emails before they get to you so they can delete anything not related to your child?

[weightgame]

always remember you are in charge of your self, choose not to let your loser ex control you anymore, if you let it bother you he wins, just keep working harder and remeber when you get to your weightloss goal he is the one who looks like a fool

[Justwant2Bhealthy]

This is his way of keeping some control over you -- it's a power trip. Take that power away by limiting your contact with him; through emails is one way, as long as he isn't abusive in them as well. You could get a close friend to filter them for you, if you need to (I did that with an abusive relative once; I sent his emails to another relative and I never actually read them).

I realize that you have to keep in contact becuz of your child, but limit it to just that and nothing more. I have a friend who is going through something similar -- and she just told him up front that name calling would not be tolerated; if he continues, the contact will be severely limited and/or stopped altogether until he talks in a respectful manner to both of them.

and prayers for you and your child ...

[nitenurse]

he is your EX!!! why would you let him or anyone for that matter keep you from doing what you need to

[Leenie]

I'm so sorry... but remember don't let ANYONE determine your worth. You are smart for keeping your distance, both you and your child will benefit.

[dissonance]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that, and very glad he's your ex. Sounds like just a total a$$hole, who wants to do whatever he can to tear you down. As Justwant2Bhealthy said, its control. Just keep working to keep as much distance as possible. When you have to meet with him, all I can think is keep maybe the meet up places as public as possible, so it's easier to just immediately walk away. The emails, it's good that you are working to protect yourself. I'd say as soon as you see an insult, close. If he needs to convey something, he best learn to do so without hurling insults your way, though sadly men like him rarely change.

Take care of yourself.

[carrie31324]

It definitely is very frustrating. It only gets to me occasionally, but those are some pretty bad days. He actually doesn't have a computer so I am hoping his emails will be few and far between. He has no rights or visitation, but I feel like it is in my daughters best interest not to completely cut him off even though I would like to and have the courts support on that. I am just so tired of the ongoing verbal beat downs. A lot of my eating is emotional, so when it stresses me out I turn to food. I have actually been thinking of going back to counseling, just to help me learn some better coping skills.

Thank you everyone for listening!!

[emaline29]

Dear Carrie, Having been there myself and in my day there was no help at all and I grew up in a very destructive household too. I can't help feeling that it would be soo much better if you were to stick to the decision that was given , I presume by the courts, and not have anything at all to do with him!! The abuse heaped on you is well noticed by your little one even just by the fact that it gets you down so much. When she is older and has had a chance to grow up a bit in a peaceful and calm environment then you can give her the opportunity to see her father if she wants to. In the meantime please, I implore you to keep the atmosphere as peaceful as possible.
I wish you all the very best for the future....