Anorexia is a serious disorder-- That I don't have.
I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but coming off Thanksgiving and Christmas and awaiting the New Year's Eve party scene, I need to make an observation/rant.
I've been to several events with friends who haven't seen me in awhile (about 20-30 lbs ago). You would NOT believe the feedback from people saying 'You are like anorexic now, eat something' or, 'Why aren't you eating?? You could use a couple of pounds'. To add to it, I usually don't eat too much at parties these days because it's mostly sugary-carby stuff. I will poke around the veggie tray and cheese tray.
To begin with, I am a very appropriate weight for my height. I know I don't need to prove anything to anyone. However, I eat LARGE AMOUNTS of healthy foods in my own home. At every meal I fill up my plate with on-plan foods and eat the whole thing. People don't see this when you're out, they just see you cherry-picking items from the food table, and possibly not eating anything.
Is this jealousy? Disregard for anorexia being a life threatening disease? Disrespect?
I agree. I got so irritated with explaining (so many times per party!) why I wasn't eating the cake, meatballs, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese etc...
I sure wish people wouldn't take it as a personal insult when I don't eat food at their home. I understanding asking once but please stop the repeated inquiries. Surely they know it's uncomfortable to be asked that over and over again.
Sounds like people aren't used to seeing you at a "normal" size, or are jealous or aren't used to seeing most people at a "normal" size and so you look extra skinny to them.
You could always try the "thanks, my doctor is very pleased with my weight loss and will let me know if she has medical concerns."
I have only had this comment once and it was thrown at me in a crowded school hallway where I could not respond. A teacher yelled "Now don't go anorexic on us or anything." I also found it distasteful and lacking all regard for the real and true disorder that it is. No, at 5'4" and the 170 pounds I was at the time, I was not and am not anorexic. Really.
I have seen anorexia. It isn't pretty. It's devastating. I do not like that word being used lightly at all. To me, it's a lot like the word "******ed". (Hmmm...interesting I can't use that word....kind of proves my point! Let's say "low IQ" then.) It gets overused incorrectly and the true meaning of the word ends up lost and it's slung around like an insult. There is a true and appropriate way to use the word, but it's lost in today's culture. I feel like this is happening with the word "anorexic" too. I honestly think it is starting to become a compliment and that's really scary and wrong.
I think, in general, people have a hard time with change. They were used to seeing you one way and have now "changed".
I also think it is important to listen to those around us. They can sometimes see things we do not. But with that being said, you appear to be a normal weight. The PP that said about telling them your Dr says you are healthy is a great idea. It may put their minds at ease if they really are concerned.
I had a friend - her and I used to joke that we had a "fear of being anorexic" and that was why we were so "chubby". She then proceeded to get dangerously thin - like fuzz on face, no period, tried not to stare at her, THIN. (She has since gained some weight back - though I am not sure it was done healthfully.) It is a hard thing to watch. It is scary. Your friends may be genuinly concerned.
If they are concerned - reassuring them that your Dr has given you a clean bill of health should help... if they are jealous... then try not to worry about it.
A friend of mine recently cornered me at a party, literally grabbed one of my hands and started examining my fingernails. Why?
Because I couldn't possibly have lost this weight without "going anorexic."
I can't describe how offended I was- for myself and for the poor people who actually suffer from anorexia.
I'm fed up with people thinking that I'm not capable of merely working hard and accomplishing my goals- I must be doing something...
People just don't like change sometimes or might be jealous or threatened by your healthy choices. So it is ok, if you make good choices, you will feel good about yourself and that is what matters. Me, although I am not at an anorexic weight, I can be quite anorexic with my thinking because I always need to restrict food otherwise i feel out of control and go crazy, I know i have issues with it and people don't even see that hihihihi. But that is just me and i am getting better.
Thank you ladies for all of your replies and kind words (and commiseration)! I think you are right in that it is difficult or unnatural to see people change quickly. I think I was just most offended by the casual use of the word anorexia. This site is so full of supportive people, thanks for the outsiders' opinion!
I actually had anorexia my freshman - junior years in high school, and now I am almost 22 and it is still a daily struggle. I know that I am overweight now, which seems weird given the fact that I was literally hospitalized and forced to eat after passing out during a race at a track meet. After several years and many therapy sessions, I slowly began to become comfortable with myself. But now, as I'm starting to diet and try to lose weight, I can see my old tendencies and insecurities and obsessive behavior is still lurking there and waiting to come out. My boyfriend has literally had to lock me out of the bathroom because I will weigh myself over and over and over again, then force myself to go to the bathroom and weigh again to see if the number has gone down at all. He stops by my work almost every night to bring me food and then literally stands there and watches me to make sure I eat it.
It is NOT a word that is to be thrown around lightly, and I HATE how easy it is for us to say nowadays. People just really do NOT understand or respect how serious the disease really is.
Last edited by JennWantsToLose; 03-09-2011 at 08:35 PM.
Anorexia is a serious disorder-- That I don't have.
Really.
Let's say "low IQ" then.) It gets overused incorrectly and the true meaning of the word ends up lost and it's slung around like an insult. There is a true and appropriate way to use the word, but it's lost in today's culture. I feel like this is happening with the word "anorexic" too. I honestly think it is starting to become a compliment and that's really scary and wrong.
