[Ciao]

So to avoid starting anymore
drama, I decided to vent on
here. I am so so so mad!

Most of my family is really
dysfunctional. Not all, but most.

Well over the summer my 18 year
old cousin randomly shows up at
our house. She's VERY cunning and
before we know it she's wanting
to stay with us. My mother has
no problem with it. A week goes
by and now my mom is getting
fed up at this point. My cousin had no job,
no desire to even get one, couldn't
help pay bills, etc. (Mind you, my
mother is a single mom with 5 kids).

Finally a couple weeks later my
cousin's boyfriend is released
from jail (he went in for domestic
violence against her) and she
leaves our place and goes to his
friends' house with him.

They came over on and off for
the next week and my mother sat
down with them and advised
them to get their lives on track,
get a job, and not blow their money.

Eventually they stop coming over-
THANK GOODNESS!!!


Now, we have had no communication
with them since the summer (roughly
5 months) and I recently found out
my cousin got a facebook. Out of curiosity
I checked it out to see how she was doing.

LITTLE DID I KNOW SHE'S BEEN TALKING
CRAP ABOUT ME AND MY MOTHER THE WHOLE TIME!!!

She's saying how, and I quote, "dude sierra looks
gross" (after she found out about my weight loss),
and "THEY ALL LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE
CUZ THERE BROKE WELFARE MOFOS".

My fiancé and I have been in a long-distance
relationship since August 10th, 2008, and we
have seen each other and we have a very
LOVING and HEALTHY relationship.

Here my cousin is saying, "UM MY BOYFRIENDS
NOT 100000 MILES AWAY I KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING".



How dare she! After all we've done for her,
all the BS we put up with to help her, everything!

What an ungrateful, wretched, person she is!

I'm not even going to bother messaging or
talking to her about it. *I* will be the bigger
person and not continue this drama.

I just needed to vent. I feel better now.
Thanks!

[Lauren201]

I am so sorry!

My husband and I are having problems with our family too, sounds like your cousin and my husband's would get along really well..

[LindseyLou]

Oh my gosh! I can't believe that! That is just ridiculous! It just goes to show you what kind of a person she REALLY is. After your mother took her in and you guys helped her out she has the nerve to say those kind of hurtful things! Uggghhhhh! Honestly, she is probably jealous that your mother can take care of herself and 5 kids alone. She's probably jealous that you and your fiance are serious and her boyfriend is some loser straight outta jail! And it for sure sounds like she's jealous of your weight loss! You've made awesome progress and are NOT gross! UGHHH people are so rude! I'm sorry you had to deal with that!

[Nola Celeste]

What a miserable, wretched way to treat you and your mom! I'm sorry that's happened to you and hope that venting a little helped.

Is it snide of me that I thought, "Yeah, she does know what her boyfriend's doing--poppin' her in the jaw and winding up in jail because of it. Way to live life, chica!"? Probably. But I'm kind of a ***** like that when people act so miserable.

[Nienna]

Oh, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, and I'm glad that you decided to come here to vent. I'm sure you already know the following things, but they bear mentioning anyway. You are not gross. You look lovely. And you and your mother are saints for having put up with this family member for so long. As for your cousin's comment about you all living in the same house ... what planet does she come from? I've travelled a lot, and I haven't ever been anywhere where it's normal for a mother and her five children to live in separate houses! Of course you live in the same house ... you're immediate family! Maybe she does not understand this concept because her relationship with her own immediate family is apparently dysfunctional, as she prefers to live with an abusive boyfriend than with her own parents.

I normally am kind of skeptical when people say things like "Oh, he/she's just jealous," but in this case, I think that it's very clear that your cousin is jealous of you. She must be pretty unhappy with her own life to spend so much time and energy commenting about the life of her younger cousin.

I hope you feel better soon. And you should be proud of yourself for deciding not to message her.

[EZMONEY]

Here is a big KIDDO for not responding to her attacks!

You have no reason to defend yourself in this situation...although I think ALL of us out here would want to!

Sometimes there is just nothing you can do for people to help them out. It is obvious, to me anyway, that she is miserable in her own skin.....and jealous of you.

Ignore her the best you can and focus on happy things!

[Ciao]

Thanks everyone!

I really don't know what her
problem is. :/ She's actually
accused another family member
of saying I was doing drugs
to lose weight (and I'm VERY
close with this other family
member!)

I can say I will definitely NOT
be talking to her for a very, very long time.

[lizziep]

family can be so complicated, i think because no matter how awful they can be to you, you feel obliged to love them and be there for them anyway. i agree the best thing you can do is just stay away and be very cautious in the future of what you say to her and what your family is willing to offer her.
she obviously has some major problems that won't be going away soon. i'm betting she'll be back and in need of your help again some time and it'll be a much harder decision for you whether or not to let her in.

[MiZTaCCen]

*Hugs* we ALL seriously have black sheep LOSERS like that in our families there is at least one! Trust me I know exactly how you feel. Forget the little twit, let her talk all the smack she wants, shes some 18 yr old little ho who has an abusive boyfriend. One day she'll grow up but for now...just let it go she's nothing.

[shasha12]

sorry to hear you’re going through something so tough! i’ve dealt with dysfunction within my family as well, and it is terribly difficult and hurtful, to say the least. kudos to you for being the bigger person here, and not responding. the good news is that people like this will fall to the wayside as life progresses, and it won’t hurt as much anymore. keep your head high

[HartLover23]

Honestly, I would ignore it. I wouldn't say anything, I wouldn't start anything, trust me, you don't want family to go against you. My dad has problems with his brother, and when my grandmother passed away in June 09, they were both co-trustees, which means, both have to sign off on the CDs at the bank. It's now December 2010, and the biggest account still has yet to be signed off. I'm talking thousands and thousands of dollars, my inheritance, my sister's, my brother's, and my cousins' (my uncle's kids). And he refuses. For whatever reasons.

Anyways, my point is, you don't want to get in bad. Because she could screw you over in the future. I would ignore it, and basically consider her to be non-existent. If she tries to make contact with you or whatever, ignore her. If she confronts you about it, be honest. Say you saw what she said about you. Say "I'm sorry, but it really hurt my feelings, and I don't think you can be in my life if you're going to say those things about me and my family."

[3FCer344892]

I'm SO sorry this is happening to you. It's so mean of her to trash talk you and your mother.

[Pint Sized Terror]

I would totally ignore it. She seems like a pretty miserable person who needs to tear other people down so she feels better about herself and her own poor choices in life. Don't give her the satisfaction of you getting angry over it.