[tattoodles]

I gave birth to my biological daughter 2 and a half years ago. I have NEVER in any way regretted or waivered in my decision to have her adopted, but I have struggled with body issues because of it. It's hard for me seeing friends who gained a few pounds from having kids and knowing that at least people see them with their kids and give them a little leeway that I don't get. Sometimes I look at my stomach that is covered in stretch marks and a belly button that looks like a frowny face and I feel almost selfish to feel bad about them, but I kind of feel like I don't have anything to show for it.

Can anyone here relate to this??? Maybe not. Idk. The only other person I know who chose adoption had a closed one and she doesn't like to talk about her experience. Mine was very different, an open adoption with a couple I had known for years. And I've found talking about it very helpful for me.

[sept15lija]

I just wanted to send hugs...I can see how you would feel this way. I was at the mall today and feeling self-conscious a bit, and I thought to myself, well at least I have my almost 3 year old and my 10 month old with me, I have a bit of an excuse (although I have been obese forever, and it definitely had nothing to do with my pregnancies, lol...however of course random strangers don't know that!! ). Hopefully someone else can post who has the same experience as you.

[Pint Sized Terror]

First of all .

Second, you could have been describing my stomach. I don't think anyone is judging you because you don't "have anything to show for it" but I think you might be. Get what I'm saying? People get stretchmarks and loose skin for many reasons. My husband has they all over his stomach, and I guarantee he's never been pregnant! LOL!!

I wouldn't get too down on yourself about your appearance. We all have things we don't like about ourselves. I have a tattoo I totally regret, among other things.

You did what was best for yourself and your baby. You DO have something to show for it.

[ANewCreation]

Well, my stomach looked like a road map after my first pregnancy, so I totally understand where you're coming from as far as the belly goes.

While I've never given a baby up for adoption I beg to differ on your idea of 'you have nothing to show for it'. You gave your baby to someone to adopt. That, to me, is having something to show for it. You gave someone an incredible gift.

I hope you get some encouragement from someone who's been where you're at. Till then, hugs and more hugs.

[shcirerf]

[justaloozer]

[runningfromfat]

Originally Posted by ANewCreation

Well, my stomach looked like a road map after my first pregnancy, so I totally understand where you're coming from as far as the belly goes.

While I've never given a baby up for adoption I beg to differ on your idea of 'you have nothing to show for it'. You gave your baby to someone to adopt. That, to me, is having something to show for it. You gave someone an incredible gift.

I hope you get some encouragement from someone who's been where you're at. Till then, hugs and more hugs.

Very well said! You gave a miracle to a new, loving family, you definitely have something to show for it!

But I get what you're saying. I've been overweight for awhile but was never really obese. My pregnancy put me well into the obese category and I still look pregnant if I don't dress well enough. When I'm at work and DD is not nearby I worry people will wonder about my huge belly and think that I'm pregnant (I'm definitely not!). It's something that I'm very self-conscious about.

[tattoodles]

Thanks guys for your comments. And I know that I DO have something to show for it. I guess since I still live in the same area I grew up in, I know how people gossip about others (especially weight gain) and there are a lot of people who don't know I've hadx a baby, so I feel like when they see me they'll think that I've just let myself go. I was a size 2 for almost all of high school. And of the people who did know a lot had told me I should abort cuz I was pregnant by a non-consentual situation (I was roofied/drugged). So it's felt almost like I shouldn't complain because I chose to go through with the pregnancy.

I am in between in so many ways. Even, not related to weightloss or body issues, but I have my labor and delivery story and can relate with moms in that area, but as soon as they start talking about waking up 3 times a night or troubles nursing I have nothing to say.