Rudest Comments About Your Success at Weight Loss?
I was wondering what were the rudest comments you guys have gotten about your success with weight loss. I don't mean the "Oh, you really should stop losing weight, you're too skinny" comments, but comments that are actually demeaning your success and all that you went through to lose weight.
The only one I truly got (but that truly stunned me) is one of my friends casually saying that I can't be counted as an example for weight loss because I just have good genes. My other friend came to my rescue and pointed out how much hard work and dedication I've put into to lose all the weight (62 pounds, in fact) but the first friend just shrugged this off and didn't seem to take it to heart. Needless to say, I was offended. (Unless, of course, she meant that I have good "jeans," in which case I'll totally agree. My jeans are totally fab. )
What about you guys? What are some of the demeaning comments you've got about your great accomplishment of weight loss and maintenance?
Someone asked if I had surgery. In other words, "I know you couldn't have done it yourself so tell me your secret."
Someone told me I had become a "skinny *****." I replied, "No, that's you--I am just a wanna be." No matter the context I don't like to be referred to as a B.
"Good genes" is a weird one. If your genes were so good, how did they let you get fat in the first place? People are strange!
I think last time, when I got to 136, the rudest one was "You must have done Atkins". I hadn't.. This wasn't a compliment, this was someone inferring that I'd taken what was being viewed as "the easy option", i.e. not 'real' dieting.
The most unexpected one was "have you finished your chemotherapy now?" but that didn't offend me as much as the Atkins one. The chemotherapy was a real "open mouth, insert foot" moment; the Atkins one was intended to be deliberately demeaning.
I did get a discrete, polite, private inquiry, "You lost a bunch, are you OK?" from a work friend who then responded to my, "Yup, I've joined a gym" with approving congratulations.
I didn't think that one was rude, but a socially sensitive person checking before heaping praise on someone who might be wasting away from a disease or its treatment.
About two years ago, my best friend, of all people, asked if I was even eating and if I was becoming an anorexic!?!?!
My response, "Of course! Going to the gym and walking the dog everyday, as well as eating better makes me one". I was sooo peeved at her.
My mom said it was because she was jealous that her other "fat-buddy" wasn't so fat anymore.
And now, since I've put some of the weight back on, she says I've never looked healthier.....Sometimes friends can suck. >
I've been jokingly called a 'skinny b*&^h' by a so called best friend (i say so called because we've become really distant). I finally had to say something like.."I am a LOT more than a person who has lost weight and you don't have to say that to me every time you see me (esp out in grocery stores, etc)" She backed off pretty quickly.
I work in a preschool and I hadn't seen a father in a few months. He genuinely asked if I was feeling okay and that I wasn't 'sick'. Of course this made me extremely paranoid...I didn't want to look 'ill'. My coworkers reassured me that I looked just fine and it's because he hadn't seen me in a while.
Another friend jokingly made a comment that in a pic of the two of us, I had 'anorexic arms'. I was a little offended about this and asked her several times...is this what your really see??
I take everything to heart so these comments played a toll on me for a few days.
Someone told me I had become a "skinny *****." I replied, "No, that's you--I am just a wanna be."
KattoS, that's why sometimes I think we should choose friends who've always been skinny! These are the ones who are usually sincerely happy for you.
I'm trying to come up with something, but in my culture, things that are rude for Americans are just... not. On another forum I post some (American) people were saying that they found it rude when someone said "wow, you've lost weight! What have you done?". Here that's considered a normal reaction. If you DIDN'T comment on someone's massive weight loss, now THAT would be considered rude. It normally doesn't even occur to us that the person might be sick.
Had many people assume I've had weight loss surgery. One person finally conceded that okay so I didn't have weigh loss surgery, but then must have had liposuction - this was told to me by one of my good friends... we have a shared mutual friend and my good friend kept me apprised of that little dialogue.
Like Bill, I've had many people ask if my weight loss was intentional. One woman kinda got close to me and whispered, "you're wanted to lose the weight, right? You're okay aren't you?" As to which I responded, "I've never been better."
The one that gets me the most, which drives me INSANE beyond belief - "You're so lucky you were able to lose the weight". I've had that several times. One time in particular I stated that luck had nothing to do with it, that it was hard work and dedication. So then she shot back, "well than you were lucky that you could work hard and be dedicated". What can you say after that one? What would be the point?
I've had tons more rude comments about how I eat. Really nobody's darn business. As if I would ever comment on how un-healthily they eat. Not sure why they think it's okay to make mention (in a derogatorily fashion) of how healthy I eat. I wouldn't dream of speaking about the massive calories they are ingesting in mere minutes.
Definitely the worst part of weight loss are those comments.
(Besides being cold all the time, but that's another thread.)
Fortunately, I've had mostly positive feedback so far. I did have a friend (who's also trying to lose weight) say she was "jealous" of me, but she meant it in a nice way. I just kept encouraging her...she just had a baby last year, so obviously she has more barriers to weight loss than I do right now. It's totally NOT a competition!
I do have another friend (also overweight, but not losing weight) say something like "You're going to waste away to nothing." Huh? Sure, I'm a lot smaller than I was, but I'm still almost 200 lbs and about 12 lbs from even being considered "overweight" on the BMI scale. Hardly "wasting away to nothing", LMAO.
One thing I've noticed is people HATE hearing that you don't have any big "secret." I tell them I count calories and exercise, and they're like "that's it?" Yeah, pretty much! I'm more than happy to share some of my "tools", (i.e., calorie counter phone app, exercise DVD's I like), but the bottom line is eat less, move more. No magic pills, folks...sorry!
I too have received my fair share of rude comments:
Are you sick/have cancer?
Have you had weight loss surgery (including my family practice dr.)?
What is your secret? If I had a secret, trust me, I would be rich! They're always disappointed when they hear the truth...
Are you anorexic?
One of my co-workers made this statement in front of another co-worker, when she commented on my weight loss, "You know she only works part-time (30 hrs per week) so she has time to exercise." Nevermind the fact that I have two kids (she has none), a husband that actually works, a dog, etc...
You're a skinny b&^$% now!
[*}At sil's August 2010 wedding, my other sil (matron of honor) was complaining to mil about none of the rest of the family helped enough--what did I do wrong? I was too skinny!
I don't mind the comments if it's someone you clearly cares about me. It's the mean, catty remarks that hurt. Also, it drives me crazy when a large group starts to go on and on about my weight. Nothing to see here people--move along!
"You know she only works part-time (30 hrs per week) so she has time to exercise."
Hate, hate, hate that one too.
My sister in law has said to me many times, "I just don't have the time to cut up salads".
It is very rude. As if her time is more valuable then mine and cutting up salad is some frivolous way to choose to spend ones time, as in I should be doing something more useful with my time.
You're essentially saying that you don't have time to be healthy.
I am certain though, that saying it that way, makes her feel better about the choices she makes. None the less it is down right nasty and rude and it pi$$es me off.
Anyone who has read my personal History probably knows that
I am 5'0" tall, and after about 48 years of yo yo dieting,
and losing 100 lbs and regaining it and more Three separate times....
18 years ago, while weighing 271 lbs I had open gastric bypass surgery,
a RNY with NO re-routing of the intestine so that every calorie still counts.
That following year, I lost to 160 lbs.. These were the pioneer days for WLS,
...I used the only doctor in california who did those surgeries,
and he did not believe in pain medication,
and his detailed food advice
was to eat 3 meals a day, making sure at least half of each was protein.
I have always been in good health...even at my highest weight,
and I had no surgical complications, nor did I have unusual complications post-surgery.
However, I cannot even describe the pain and effort,
both physical and mental, that I've gone through
due to physical effects caused by my WLS...
including dumping, lactose intolerance, frequent and almost unbearable gas,
inability to eat as little as my body would tolerate etc. etc. etc.
After maintaining that weight for about 3 years...my weight began creeping up,
and I had to begin dieting again to keep from gaining more weight.
About 6 years ago, weighing 190 lbs, I stumbled across the computer food journal I still use,
and I began to diet successfully and lost weight,
Averaging 1 lb a week by eating approx 1250 calories a day.
I reached my weight goal, and
For the first time since High School, I weighed 115 lbs,
and have been working to maintain that weight for the past 5 years,
by eating a daily average of only about 1050 calories.
ANYWAY...the reason I'm posting this here,
is because although in my lifetime I've had MANY RUDE COMMENTS
about my weight losses ..(..And my weight gains...)
The absolute RUDEST ONE is a commonly accepted comment by many....
It is the one that implies that in some way I cheated to get my weight-loss results,
and didn't WORK like other people.
You've probably guessed what that Rude comment is...
"You did it the EASY WAY."
I have to say that I still really, really, have to work not to hate
the extremely ignorant...and rude...people who say that.
Last edited by Bright Angel; 12-04-2010 at 11:36 AM.
Rudest Comments About Your Success at Weight Loss?
)
People are strange!
