Very irritated with dieting best friend...Need to know your opinion.
Ok yesterday my friends and I had our weekly meeting at cafe-restaurant we hang out every Wednesday. My best friend and also announce last week that she is on diet.
Ok I also need to tell you that I work as an English teacher in a high demand for English country. I work from 14:00 to 21:00 in the afternoon. I don't have any breaks apart from 3 two-minute breaks I use to refresh myself.
Anyways I got off work, went home to change and then hurried to the place we were meeting. It was 22:00 by the time we sat down. So she announces to us that she is sticking on her diet tonight. Anyways I was starving and I usually have a salad without dressing when we go to that place so I needed a change and decided to have a club-sandwich without fries for a change. And this started it all.
She: Why did you order this?
Me: Well I am hungry. I haven't eaten since midday.
She: You don't know what hungry is. I had to spent the whole day with just a salad and 2 apples.
Ok I had a WTF moment at that point, but I let it slide. So my food comes and she starts *****ing on how I am torturing her and if I can get over with it quickly. At a point I could not take it anymore and I snapped at her to shat it. Shee started calling me insensitive. I ended up feeling so bad about snapping at her and I got so angry that I told the waiter to take the sandwich away without finishing it.
A part of me feels so angry with her cause I have been dieting throughout our teenagehood (and I still am the group's fat girl), but I have never done this to her when we used to go out. If I wanted to stick on my diet I knew it was a concious choice, if I didn't then it still was my choice. I dunno. I feel guilty for snapping at her. I also feel offended with her cause she called me insensitive and I don't feel like I did something so offensive.
On the other hand I don't really feel I understand her sudden need to lose 5 kg and agonise so much about them, since she is on the healthy bmi range and frankly I think that she has the most gorgeous body I ever saw. Am I really insensitive? How would you feel in such a case? What would you do?
Well I am insensitive so I would have said some pretty mean things! I also would have spent the rest of the meal talking about just how delicious the sandwich was, and how she was missing out. If I was feeling exceptionally spite-filled I would have ordered a chocolate -something afterward.
You should never feel bad for eating. That's how eating disorders are born. Your friend sounds really over-dramatic. From your stats your clearly doing very well with your weight loss! Maybe you should school her on eating healthy. a salad and some apples is not a healthy days food! Even on a diet. There's no need to be hungry!
Ok - this is all I have to say - It is not anyone else's choice other than HERS for her to be on a diet. What you chose to eat is YOUR business and just because she has made the choice to diet does not mean everyone around her has to!
Even though you are dieting as well, you are doing what works for you. She, out of all people, should understand considering she is doing the same thing. YOu have NOTHING to be ashamed of and I think she owes you an apology. There is no need to make everyone around you miserable because YOU have chosen to diet. This is something she needs to learn. The world doesnt revolve around her and you are going to eat as you so choose. Just my thoughts on it..
I agree with Dianne, and if that had been my friend I honestly wouldn't have given a flying flip what she thought of me. For one eating two salads and an apple is not even the healthiest route. When I was on detox I couldn't eat meat, pasta, potatoes, anything like that, but I still had to eat a lot of hearty and wholesome foods like oatmeal and brown rice and I had to eat A LOT of veggies and fruits. The program required 5 small meals a day of variety.
Does she think that just because salads and apples are healthy that's the only thing she can eat? It sounds like she's making her situation sound a lot worse than it is. I never had need for more food, even on detox, I had a wide selection that kept me very full. And as was said above me, it is HER problem whether she gives into temptation or not. She'd best not blame others for what they order, if that effects her eating habits then WOW she has a LOT of changing to do on her weight loss journey.
I agree with Dianne, and if that had been my friend I honestly wouldn't have given a flying flip what she thought of me. For one eating two salads and an apple is not even the healthiest route. When I was on detox I couldn't eat meat, pasta, potatoes, anything like that, but I still had to eat a lot of hearty and wholesome foods like oatmeal and brown rice and I had to eat A LOT of veggies and fruits. The program required 5 small meals a day of variety.
Does she think that just because salads and apples are healthy that's the only thing she can eat? It sounds like she's making her situation sound a lot worse than it is. I never had need for more food, even on detox, I had a wide selection that kept me very full. And as was said above me, it is HER problem whether she gives into temptation or not. She'd best not blame others for what they order, if that effects her eating habits then WOW she has a LOT of changing to do on her weight loss journey.
My guess is she is doing some sort of crash diet. What makes me think that is her irritability with food and her food choices..just saying..
I would have said that she has no right to be upset at you for YOUR choices, she has to exercise power and self control because this will NOT be the ONLY situation in which people will eat food that she can't have. If she can't handle it then she should just stay home.
THEN I would have enjoyed every bite and ignored her.
Ha, I would have told her more than just shut it. How dare her rant on like a two year old. She's a grown woman. You don't have to go hungry to eat heathly. Congratulations on your weight loss!
I don't think you were being insensitive at all and should not feel guilty and maybe you should have a talk with her so this won't happen again. KUTGW!
When I first started dieting, the first two weeks my friends asked me out numerous times, I turned them down. I KNEW that they would be ordering burgers and fries and at that point I just wasn't able to resist. I didn't want to be THAT girl.
Now, I am able to go out and order food and know healthy from unhealthy.
You should NOT feel guilty whatsoever. Sounds like she has a lot of learning to do. Even if I had went out with my friends, I'd NEVER EVER comment on their food selections!
Yea I would have told her more than to shut it, heck we might not be friends anymore...lol.
But I have to agree with a previous poster, sounds like she's on a crash diet and she's probably frustrated and mad and maybe a little jealous because you seemingly can eat what you want (even though a club sandwhich without the fries isn't bad) and you are loosing weight. At any rate; I wouldn't apologize, but I would let her know that this diet is her deal, not yours.
I'd just say "Look, I'm hungry. I eat what I want to eat. You eat what you want to eat. Let's leave the food comments off the table and just eat what we want, ok?"
also, next time she pulls that kind of stuff, remind her of all the times she was NOT dieting and you were and she ate ice cream or cake or whatever other fatty foods in your face (our skinny friends all do it, let's be honest) and you never said anything about it.
I agree, she was being completely rude about it in the first place. She made the choice to diet, you didn't push the food on her. I think it was "hungry" talking.
Very irritated with dieting best friend...Need to know your opinion.
