I realized this morning that each and every morning is like waking up and unzipping the fat suit. I have not yet gotten used to having 70 pounds off, and may I never! I am so grateful each and every morning for this new body, and have been since around the size 16 mark. (Now 8/10)
We went camping with boy scouts this weekend and I had so much fun. The topic of snoring came up and my husband and I shared that we used to snore. Several people said, "Used to? How did you fix it?" Without thinking I chuckled and said "I lost 70 pounds". I don't know what reaction I expected but it wasn't silence. These people are only just meeting me, so I know it took them by surprise.
It's just a blessing in absolutely everything I do! It was easier to put up the tent with all the bending over, easier to lug everything from the car, easier to walk back and forth to the car, easier to have to sit on the floor through and hour long presentation, easier to not fear not having my own kitchen for a night, easier to fit in the tiny, tiny outhouse (oh ick!) and easier to sleep without an air mattress! (Though I won't try that again! LOL! Air mattresses were invented for a reason!)
I still find such joy in the most trivial things. You know how at the beginning we all wish we could just snap our fingers and be thin? I want all those just starting to know that it IS possible to get that feeling. It takes time, but after losing some of it, each and every day is just that magical.
I realized this morning that each and every morning is like waking up and unzipping the fat suit. I have not yet gotten used to having 70 pounds off, and may I never! I am so grateful each and every morning for this new body, and have been since around the size 16 mark. (Now 8/10)
We went camping with boy scouts this weekend and I had so much fun. The topic of snoring came up and my husband and I shared that we used to snore. Several people said, "Used to? How did you fix it?" Without thinking I chuckled and said "I lost 70 pounds". I don't know what reaction I expected but it wasn't silence. These people are only just meeting me, so I know it took them by surprise.
It's just a blessing in absolutely everything I do! It was easier to put up the tent with all the bending over, easier to lug everything from the car, easier to walk back and forth to the car, easier to have to sit on the floor through and hour long presentation, easier to not fear not having my own kitchen for a night, easier to fit in the tiny, tiny outhouse (oh ick!) and easier to sleep without an air mattress! (Though I won't try that again! LOL! Air mattresses were invented for a reason!)
I still find such joy in the most trivial things. You know how at the beginning we all wish we could just snap our fingers and be thin? I want all those just starting to know that it IS possible to get that feeling. It takes time, but after losing some of it, each and every day is just that magical.
Yup. Magical. Great way to describe it. It's like winning the lottery. Playing make believe. Being a fairy princess. Like every day is my birthday.
I'm 4+ years into this and I still have that feeling.
I get such a charge, such a kick out of ordinary things. Trivial things are the best. The best. Each and every one you described I can relate to. That's why when folks say that being slim can't give you happiness, I beg to differ. There are certain things that you will now find joy and pleasure in. (As well as other stuff too!). It's a life full of way less anxieties and worries and much more joy. It is an easier, more carefree life.
I'm so happy for you Eliana. Thanks for articulating these feelings so well.
Eliana-
So true, so true, so true. It is a blessing every single day. Today, we were at soccer at 8:00 AM, pumpkin patch/apple orchard afterwards, picnic and tag football with the family. I had incredible energy to do all of these things. In fact, trying on my britches today made realize I don't fit in them, too small. I am in a cute outfit, that I bought with DH last weekend at a fun boutique, heading to dinner with friends. Life is a blast.
Even when I was sick with a cold, I felt better sick being thin than being fat. N.E.V.E.R. again will I get fat.
That is so awesome! I am feeling so amazing too, and am participating in life more fully than I have in a long time. I can only imagine how I'll feel as I get smaller and smaller. I have heard it said that nothing tastes as good as being thin feels, and although I am far from thin, I know that food is not worth what I felt like at 40+ pounds heavier.
Last edited by sept15lija; 10-02-2010 at 07:46 PM.
It's funny because I've been stuck at the same weight for about two months now, and I'm really getting used to being like this-- so used to it that a lot of times I just really can't believe that I've lost OVER ONE HUNDRED POUNDS.
I actually pulled on my fat pants tonight, and like each and every time, I was ASTOUNDED that the fall right down over my hips and that I could fit two of me in them.... I actually pulled the fat pants out to their full fatness and then tried to imagine that my STOMACH would have been bumping into things probably a whole FOOT away from where it is now. I already really can't believe I was ever like that. I think it's kind of like remembering being nine months pregnant. You know that you were, but it's hard to remember exactly what it felt like.
But on the other hand, this evening I took my dog for a really long walk and then came home and went bike riding with my five year old. While I was walking the dog, I was remembering a walk I took with my dd maybe a year ago. At the time, she said "I can't understand why this is exercise. All we are doing is walking..." Back then, "a walk" was, to my mind, a workout. Today, as I strolled along, it just felt like "a walk". And back then, I wouldn't have dreamed of getting on a bike.
So yes, and no. Sometimes I am still AMAZED that I've lost so much weight, and other times, I just can't wrap my head around it.
The one thing I have not experienced yet is a normal BMI, and though I feel frustrated with how stuck I've been, I'm determined to redouble my efforts and get there.
ubergirl originally postedIt's funny because I've been stuck at the same weight for about two months now, and I'm really getting used to being like this-- so used to it that a lot of times I just really can't believe that I've lost OVER ONE HUNDRED POUNDS.
I actually pulled on my fat pants tonight, and like each and every time, I was ASTOUNDED that the fall right down over my hips and that I could fit two of me in them.... I actually pulled the fat pants out to their full fatness and then tried to imagine that my STOMACH would have been bumping into things probably a whole FOOT away from where it is now. I already really can't believe I was ever like that. I think it's kind of like remembering being nine months pregnant. You know that you were, but it's hard to remember exactly what it felt like.
But on the other hand, this evening I took my dog for a really long walk and then came home and went bike riding with my five year old. While I was walking the dog, I was remembering a walk I took with my dd maybe a year ago. At the time, she said "I can't understand why this is exercise. All we are doing is walking..." Back then, "a walk" was, to my mind, a workout. Today, as I strolled along, it just felt like "a walk". And back then, I wouldn't have dreamed of getting on a bike.
So yes, and no. Sometimes I am still AMAZED that I've lost so much weight, and other times, I just can't wrap my head around it.
The one thing I have not experienced yet is a normal BMI, and though I feel frustrated with how stuck I've been, I'm determined to redouble my efforts and get there.
Uber, you expressed my confusing thoughts so well! I have conflicting thoughts and feelings about my weight loss. There are times that I vividly remember how I felt carrying a 100+ more pounds around but yet at other times, it feels like a distant dream (nightmare). I can rejoice at being able to bend over and tie my shoe or run up and down stairs. But there are other times that I look in the mirror and still can only see all the fat that I still carry around.
Sometimes, I wish that I could live in my old body for a day just so I can really appreciate the change. This may come from losing slowly; the mind forgets the acute pain. I compare it to having gone through labor (giving birth). You remember that it hurt but forget how much. Then the next time you are in labor, you think, "How could I not remember this pain?"
Uber, you expressed my confusing thoughts so well! I have conflicting thoughts and feelings about my weight loss. There are times that I vividly remember how I felt carrying a 100+ more pounds around but yet at other times, it feels like a distant dream (nightmare). I can rejoice at being able to bend over and tie my shoe or run up and down stairs.
the mind forgets the acute pain. I compare it to having gone through labor (giving birth). You remember that it hurt but forget how much. Then the next time you are in labor, you think, "How could I not remember this pain?"
I have these same exact feelings.
I was SO miserable from my weight, I mean , really, really miserable from it, and being I didn't start this venture till I was 42, it took up a LARGE majority of my life. Yet, it seems as if it was eons ago, another life in fact; *almost* as if it didn't happen. Almost. It's the strangest thing. It's really hard to describe. But you ladies did a pretty good job of it.
Great post Eliana. It is such a great feeling. So great in fact, I don't know why I ever let myself get as big as I did...
I've lost a fairly significant amount of weight a couple times in my life, and each time I felt great, but for some mortifying reason, I allowed myself to go back to the pain and misery of morbid obesity. I am fighting tooth and nail to never go back to that place, but unfortunately for many of us, we will go back, without a fight.
Some of us forget the pain of morbid obesity, and for some reason we also forget the joy and freedom of being a normal weight.
Oh Lori, that's painful to read. I can't imagine forgetting, I really can't.
I've lost weight, but never a significant amount, and always it went back on because I gave up, never because it just crept up on me. I have fought this every step of the way. I just didn't understand how much patience played into losing it. For ten years, nonstop, I have wanted nothing more than to have this weight gone.
I am thankful for where I have been. I was one of those girls for whom thin was never thin enough. I will never be that girl again because I have seen the other side.
There's very little I do every day that I am not reminded of where I have been. Every time I tie my shoes, every time I sit in the wing backed chair that used to be too small, every time I get down on the floor to play with the kids, every time I set pretzel legged without my legs going to sleep...I am reminded of how joyous this is. I am reminded now as my fingers, numb from cold, type out this message. I'm thrilled for the cold of them, something I never experienced fat! All day I've been wearing shoes that used to be too narrow, socks that used to cut off circulation, size EIGHT pants, a turtleneck that is four sizes too big, but that's ok because it's underneath a beautiful Halloween sweater decorated in pumpkins, ghosts, candy corn, etc. I never wore sweaters at my high weight...too much bulk.
I could go on forever about the happiness every tiny detail of my life brings, but I would bore you all and still would not quite get my point across.
You know, I was thinking about this just today. I got down on the floor with my 5 year old to show him how to make patterns with his pattern block. We were just lying down there, hanging out and playing. It suddenly hit me that at this time last year, just a month into this journey, I could.not.do.that. It really was a case of if I got down I might not be able to get back up. It's shocking, really. Since a good chunk of my weight was lost while dealing with a chronic back injury, for most of this weightloss journey I've had to severely restrict my movements. It's only been the last few months that I can really do things without significant pain, so it wasn't a gradual progression for me - everyday I'm shocked by what my body can do.
Unzipping the fat suit
These people are only just meeting me, so I know it took them by surprise. 
Thanks for sharing that with us who are still working hard.
