Living Maintenance general maintenance topics and discussions

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Old 09-08-2010, 03:16 PM   #1  
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Default Ever feel like you're just trying to prove everyone wrong?

My mom is the definition of a yo yo dieter. My whole life she's been either gaining or losing significant amounts of weight and maybe only a few times reached her actual goal. She's always had more to lose and then she gets tired of whatever fad diet she's on and goes back to her old ways and regains all of her weight and usually more. Since I've been losing she's constantly cautioning me about how hard it is to keep it off especially for people like her and I who tend to eat emotionally.

Now I'll start by saying my mom has never had a maintenance plan and always done some kind of fad diet. I on the other hand have spent 4 years losing this weight with one method or another of calorie counting and I do have a maintenance plan - more calorie counting! I've also developed what I hope to be a long term passion for running (which she tells me is a bad idea because runners are too skinny, look gaunt, and all have horrible joint problems). But I can feel this just wait and see - you'll gain it back attitude from her and it's really upsetting me. I have this stubborn streak to prove her wrong. And I don't want that to be what maintenance is about for me. I want it to be about enjoying this healthy new life because I love it and I want to set a good example for my family.

And then of course I want to prove that awful regain statistic wrong as well. Which is also stupid, I mean who needs that added pressure. Anyway, I'm rambling a little, but does anyone use wanting to prove people wrong about regaining to fuel their maintenance motivation?

Last edited by ncuneo; 09-08-2010 at 03:18 PM.
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Old 09-08-2010, 03:48 PM   #2  
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I can relate. I sometimes feel like a ticking time bomb that can easily blow up to my old size. However, at the end of the day, I analyze my lifestyle, and my eating habits, and I realize I would have to go back to several old eating habits to get back to that place. Yes, I still have "bad" days, I still crave "bad" foods, who doesn't? My thing is, I keep it about balance. For each bad day, I make sure I have three GREAT days.

But those around me that have seen my weightloss, I sometimes feel like they are just waiting on the sidelines to see if I go "back." I made a promise to myself that I never would. I worked way too hard! Plus like you said, that statistic of gaining weight back is just added stress that we don't need on top of everyday factors that contribute to our troubles!

I run too! I love it! My knees and joints may not be in their 20's forever, but I'm going to use them while I can! I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Best of luck, and CONGRATS on such huge successes! You aren't alone.
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Old 09-08-2010, 04:53 PM   #3  
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I have a coworker (overweight) who many times has proclaimed in a group that EVERYONE that loses weight ALWAYS gains it back so she's not going to bother. When I tried to nicely point out to her that I was successfully maintaining my weight loss, she made a very snide remark implying that I will regain my weight-- that it isn't IF but WHEN. I intend to prove her wrong. Every time I see her (we work in different locations) I want to go up to her and say == SEE-- I am keeping MY weight off. But I know that is being petty and rude and that her comments come from her own unhappiness.

Like you said, I have worked WAY too hard to gain the weight back-- I REFUSE!
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Old 09-08-2010, 04:56 PM   #4  
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I have some of that in me, too. My mom wasn't a yoyo dieter specifically, more ED if I had to call it anything. She has always been small yet feels overweight. I want to poverty to her that you can be slim, muscular and active and still eat. I want to be a positive example for her. And, to show her I'm not the overweight kid who was too big to borrow her clothes. So good and bad motivates. A little support, a litle Nyah-Nyah her way.

I totally want to prove it to everyone else though. I hate that statistic about weight loss maintenance and regain rates. Hate it.
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Old 09-08-2010, 05:43 PM   #5  
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Yeppers, I got one...I've talked about the evil witch several times here at 3FC. I see her at least once a week, and everytime I do I can FEEL her checking out every square inch of my body...hoping, praying I've gained weight. She is seriously worse than any dirty old man I've encountered when it comes to checking me out.

Anyway, I wore an outfit on Sunday inwhich I had bought last fall, (I remember she had commented on it back then), and to her dismay it still fit...actually looser than last fall. She looked like she wanted to cry. It's sad really. I almost feel like sometimes I should put on a little hidden padding so it looks like I have gained weight so that she won't be so pathetic acting around me, you know...make her feel better. Naw...let her suffer.
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Old 09-08-2010, 05:59 PM   #6  
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You know, honestly, this has never occurred to me.

Let people believe what they want to believe about my chances for success. I am too busy enjoying me and all I've worked for to worry even for a second about whether I need to "prove them wrong". Not to mention, I have all the motivation I need to keep going in my improved life, you know? I don't need that extra "I'll show THEM" sort of push.
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Old 09-08-2010, 06:01 PM   #7  
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Right now the one I want to prove it to is myself. I have had a creep up 10 pounds since the start of the summer. My first year of maintenance was the terror of regaining. I have ALWAYS regained. I made it thru year one feeling empowered. Now i have completed year 2 of maintenance and feel shame in knowing bad habits are returning. It is on ME to hold the awareness and make the positive changes.
This might not be the right thread to post this in but I need to hold onto the terror and get back in gear. Weigh, measure, chart, move.
ETA, I very much feel those around me checking to see if my weight is coming back on. I HATE that I feel like I am proving them right. Let me channel my inner contrarian.

Last edited by kittycat40; 09-08-2010 at 06:04 PM.
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Old 09-08-2010, 08:47 PM   #8  
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I'm over it...it wasn't so much trying to prove as it was me trying to help everyone. My 1st year of maintenance I felt like I spent it trying to "save" others from their misery & sharing my knowledge to help them get to their fitness goals. However, I realized all they want is a magic pill & for me to tell them I hardly exercise & I eat whatever I want. One of my fit girlfriends told me "Save your energy for your family & don't give it away to those that won't help themselves" & that's what I've been doing. I practice my healthy habits in "quiet confidence" & only share my successes/knowledge with a few friends who practice the same healthy habits & lifestyle as a normal part of their lives. It is much more fun & gratifying that way.

That said, I usually wear special fitted "revenge" clothing especially around those sideliners waiting for me to gain all the weight back (namely, my MIL). I also have a few coworkers who I believe cannot wait for me to gain all the wait back (they'll be waiting forever as far as I'm concerned). A added plus was a big family bbq at the beach last month. There were 2 aunts who in the past called me "fat" & a few female cousins in their 40's who I know are annoyed I'm in better shape than they are (they used to enjoy flaunting their bodies in their 20's & to their dismay nowadays waists are beginning to thicken). It was nice to be in a bikini & short shorts...they didn't even have to say anything to me because their eyes said it all.
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Old 09-10-2010, 05:14 PM   #9  
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I just want to prove myself wrong. All of the times I told myself I couldn't do it, I was fat, etc. Those thoughts aren't true now and they never were before. I owe it to myself to make amends by living healthy and happy and proving to myself every day that I deserve more credit than I ever gave myself. I'm worth so much more than that self deprecation and I always have been.
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Old 09-10-2010, 10:59 PM   #10  
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Yes, I am maintaining successfully partly because I do want to prove everyone wrong. This is the third time I lost alot of weight, about 65 to 80 lbs each time. This time it was 68lbs, i have this thing about showing everyone that i can keep the weight off this time, I'm not going to regain after keeping it off for 2 yrs like before. I am older and wiser now, i know so much more about nutrition and eating whole clean foods that I never knew before and I enjoy what I eat. I also tend to wear tighter clothes when I'm around family just to show them I'm still thin and I'm doing just fine. They don't know that i have 1 or 2 days a week that i eat alot of junk food and gain 2 to 6lbs. of water weight, the water weight is gone in days cause I make sure I get right back to eating healthy foods. So, ha ha! They all think I'm too skinny and I look anorexic, that's a bunch of crap, my BMI is in the lower range of normal for my height, I'm small boned. The are just used to seeing me fat all the time. I've never been in this good of shape in my life, I'm 42 now. This is a big shock for them I guess, I like to rub it in!!!
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