[cammieb]

*sigh* Here I go again.

I totally binged tonight and had a skinny cow ice cream sandwhich (160 cals), two WW deserts (170 cals each), and a piece of celery loaded with peanut butter (150ish cals). I guess 550 cals isn't too much, but it's the point.

The worst part is I know exactly why I do it. It's because I diet too extremely. I've been drinking 4 protein shakes a day, and having one solid meal, and of course, finally I couldn't stand it and had to eat, eat, eat.

I really wish I could learn to just eat normally. I have problems with healthy dieting because I don't see amazing results right away. I need a mental kickstart, in a way, but it always comes back to bite me in the but.

I was still way under maintainence, even with the binge because I had 3 shakes earlier (480 total) and salmon with greens (450 total) so 1480 for the day, but now I have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow, because clearly this isn't working for me. Not to mention I wasted 300 dollars on supplements only to fail. Ugh. I have no idea what to do now. Any tips/advice?

[happytobeamomof2]

oh i am so sorry this happened to you! i totally understand that 'kick start' adn wanting to see big numbers fast!

do you think you could have a couple small meals and still use your suppliments either in between as snacks or just replace one meal instead of most of them with shakes?

i tried shakes nearly 20 years ago adn found i just couldnt stop myself from wanting to eat 'real' food so i never tried them again as a meal replacement...

maybe add veggies with the shake so you feel like you are eating? celery? cucumber? "free" veggies (so low in calories i dont even bother counting them)...

if you really want to stick the shakes and one main meal, maybe try a strong gum after your shake to make your body think you are still 'chewing' while it processes the shake?

sorry i couldnt be more help, just know you are not alone!!!

hugs

[My Michelle]

Learning to eat normally, The Ultimate Goal! Maybe you can just use the shake for breakfast and try for more satisfying (physically and emotionally) meals at lunch and dinner?

You probably don't want to spend your life on shakes, so think of it as easing into your new relationship with real food!

[mascara blue]

I binged last night too. Nothing too drastic but you are spot on when you say its not the point. Its that moment when you know you are out of control and eating but in your head you keep saying to yourself "its ok. I'll be back on diet tomorrow and will be extra good and exercise" and then the self loathing afterwards. it sucks!! I really wnat to learn to eat normally as well but its so hard when the scale doesnt move down and your clothes continue to not fit. Urgh!! Well anyway I am back on the wagon today and hope you are too

[SeaWave]

A dietician recommended I use a shake for breakfast, because that was the hardest meal for me to eat properly (leaving home early to go to work, dietary restrictions, etc). It worked great for me until I found the soy in the shake countered my meds but it might work for you. (I'm still looking for a way to replace that shake with one that has no soy or sweeteners...)

Good luck, and let us know how it goes!

ETA Don't consider it a fail! Consider it a lesson learned -- that's what we're all doing here is learning how to treat ourselves better, and I think it's impossible to do that without making a mistake here and there!

[Streudel]

I failed last night, too. But I didn't fail completely, I just fell down. Today, I'll get back up again. So, I hope, will you.

I'm no expert, but I've learned a few things in my 20+ years of disordered eating. One of those things is that beating myself up after a binge, no matter how thorough and vicious the mental beating, never prevents the next one.

I could be wrong, but I think I'll always have the occasional fall. But I don't believe I'll fall back into full blown binge eating episodes, mostly because I refuse to let the self-hatred take over.

It's easier said than done, but try not to be so hard on yourself. Talk to yourself the same way you would talk to a friend who is living with disordered eating. You deserve the same compassion.