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Old 08-22-2010, 12:48 PM   #1  
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Default Something I just realized (long)

I always thought I had my eating under control.I thought I just preferred junky foods, like chocolate, and fast food. I thought I only ate when I was hungry. But I guess honestly monitoring my food intake changed my belief....

A few times this summer, I opted to eat a healthy meal before I was facing a known temptation. For instance, last night, we went to a potluck party. I ate a healthy light dinner and saved calories to allow myself a treat like a cookie at the party + a snack after the party because it was so early and I didn't want to be hungry all night after the party. This way I figured I could get a nice treat but not be faced with the temptation of junky foods while starving. So even though I wasn't hungry (I wasn't full either though), I ended up eating a pig in a blanket, small veggie cream cheese pizza slice, and 1/2 small slice of croissant sandwich. Oh and a banana bread muffin, and 3 bites of cheesecake. My tummy hurt afterwards (not because I was so full, but because of the crappy food) and I felt so guilty! Quite frankly none of it tasted very good either. So why did I keep eating it?

I am back on track today, and I think the most important part is the lesson I learned from these few slip ups. I don't always eat only when I"m hungry. I eat because I love food and I love eating too. I also have to give myself kudos because I'm working my butt off and have made wonderful choices day in and out for the majority of the time I've been trying to lose weight since July. I just have to keep it up!

Does anyone have any advice? How do you handle situations like parties and known temptations? I don't believe I should never allow myself a treat, but eating a meal before hand isn't really working for me all the time either, then I end up with the cals of the whole meal + the "indulgences." I know I just have to choose my behavior, and that I am in control, and I do make good choices most of the time. But if anyone has any perspective/strategies, or advice or similar stories, that would be wonderful! It is a little scary to realize for whatever reason, I gave myself permission to eat like this, even if it was just a slip up for a mere 10 minutes. I guess I'm just scared because I was feeling so confident, not only about the reasons why I eat, but also feeling like I was in control....

Last edited by pinkflower; 08-22-2010 at 12:49 PM.
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Old 08-22-2010, 12:55 PM   #2  
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I find it much easier to just eat nothing than to plan to eat lightly at a party. Because you don't know exactly what is there, you can't plan exactly what you are going to eat, which means you make choices by the seat of your pants--which never seem to work out well. As you found, not only will a person tend to eat more than they meant to when they choose right at the moment food is offered, but also a person tends to chose things that they don't even like that much.

All my treat eating, I do on my own and I plan it way in advance. That way I know I am spending my calories on things that I really, truly want and enjoy, not just eating food because it's there and looks good that minute. So at parties, I just don't eat.

If I know the exact menu beforehand I might plan to eat, but I have a PLAN--I tell myself exactly what I am going to eat before I go, and I don't veer from that.
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Old 08-22-2010, 01:05 PM   #3  
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I think that makes a lot of sense, to do my treats on my own! I guess I had this false assumption that my will power would carry over into social situations too! Does anyone ever look at you funny when you dont eat at social events, or make any comments? I mean I know what matters is that we meet our own goals and expectations, I'm just wondering. I never really even thought about not eating at a social event (silly me!), but I'm guessing no one would really notice if someone else wasn't eating?

Not too long ago, I was one of those people who thought people who made a big deal out of eating a piece of cake at a party were over the top. Obviously that didn't work out so well for me lol!

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Old 08-22-2010, 01:32 PM   #4  
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If it's the sort of party where people wander around with little plates, they really don't notice, as people all eat at different times. People do notice if you don't order food at a group dinner, but they get used to it. At this point, my weight loss is dramatic enough that people understand. On the rare occasions that people have been pushy about it, I've implied I had some sort of severe gastrointestinal thing going on and didn't dare eat. No one keeps asking questions about that!

ETA: the trick is to never make a big deal about it: don't say 'Oh god, I can't have that cake! But it looks so good!". That IS over the top, and obnoxious. Just politely decline what is offered, or say "I may get some later. Everything looks delicious!" and change the subject. Don't explain anything unless asked. No one really cares.

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Old 08-22-2010, 08:06 PM   #5  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shmead View Post
I find it much easier to just eat nothing than to plan to eat lightly at a party. Because you don't know exactly what is there, you can't plan exactly what you are going to eat, which means you make choices by the seat of your pants--which never seem to work out well. As you found, not only will a person tend to eat more than they meant to when they choose right at the moment food is offered, but also a person tends to chose things that they don't even like that much.

All my treat eating, I do on my own and I plan it way in advance. That way I know I am spending my calories on things that I really, truly want and enjoy, not just eating food because it's there and looks good that minute. So at parties, I just don't eat.

If I know the exact menu beforehand I might plan to eat, but I have a PLAN--I tell myself exactly what I am going to eat before I go, and I don't veer from that.
This, exactly.

In general, I don't embrace an "all or nothing" approach. But for situations like parties, I think it is helpful. Once you start eating, it is hard to stop. I find it is best to save my treats for when I've planned and accounted for them.
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Old 08-23-2010, 07:47 AM   #6  
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This is what works for me bymmv. I try to have a small snack to take the edge off of my hunger before the party. I then will eat at the party but I only eat things that really appeal to me and in very small portions (sometimes just biteful servings at potlucks). Also, and this is the most important detail, I focus on the people, NOT the food. Parties are about people not food anyway.
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Old 08-23-2010, 08:34 AM   #7  
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You said it was a potluck right? So everyone brings a dish or 2? What did you take? Well, that is a PERFECT kind of party to take the food you can eat! You could have taken a couple dishes on your plan, that everyone would enjoy.

We have potlucks at church all the time. I always take a huge fruit platter and some sort of delicious veggie dish... That way I always know there are foods I can eat and enjoy. I have to get in line quickly though, because they are usually the first to go. People like healthy food when given the choice.

Next time, just remember to plan a little better, and you'll be find.

As far as treats...treats always led to binges for me. I was better off (during the losing stage) avoiding treats. I had "treated" myself up to 333 pounds. I could live without them for awhile until I got my weigh under control. I didn't need them at all.

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Old 08-23-2010, 08:44 AM   #8  
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I'm really uncomfortable in social situations. It's much easier for me to eat than to socialize with strangers. So I keep a drink in one hand (yesterday was water with lime). I sit in a corner that's hard to get out of. I wander off to look at flower beds. If there is a long lost cousin there, you can go for a walk to catch up.
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Old 08-23-2010, 09:10 AM   #9  
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One of your sentences really struck me... "Quite frankly none of it tasted very good either."

I'm finding that I'm slowly changing my idea of "treat" foods, by concentrating on that exact thing. I used to love Oreos, for example. Now when I see them, and I get a twinge of "oh, I LIKE those!", I imagine the greasy feel of the filling, the chalky scrape of my teeth on the cookie, the nasty pseudo-chocolate taste. The more I focus on that, the less appealing they are. And this trick works not only for that time of temptation, but the next time I see Oreos, too.

I went to the county fair the other day, and this is one of the strategies I used to get past the caramel apples, fried dough, and lemonade that was everywhere. I just wasn't interested, because I "knew" it would be overwhelmingly sweet and cloying, greasy and stale, and just not worth the time and money.

I do pick a few foods that I still indulge, but they are within my plan. And I enjoy them very much. But I find it much easier in potluck or buffet situations to limit my choices rather than expand them. Even with potlucks, I'll give myself a framework... "two veggies, one fruit, two meats, one dessert" (or something like that). It really helps me to keep it all in perspective, while still giving me leeway to enjoy the food as well as the company.
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Old 08-23-2010, 11:45 AM   #10  
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thanks so much everyone!

I took homemade banana muffins, which weren't the healthiest, but I put flax seed in there at least to sub some of the flour.

There were plenty of veggies there I should have eaten, but for some reason, I just let myself do it. I shut off the voice saying "it's not worth it" I don't know how many times I've eaten some chicken and veggies and after told myself "see, now you're full, feel healthy, have energy and you won't feel sick after wards...." I will just need to remind myself of this and not turn off the voice telling me to stop it! Next time I'm tempted, I'll need to step back and ask myself if the calories are worth the taste...sometimes they are!!

Yes, I think my tastes are changing. Eating plain raw broccoli tastes good to me! Just a few months ago, I would have gagged. I will try your visual next time I'm tempted Synger!

Susan--Yeah I've been there before, especially when you don't know anyone but everyone knows each other!

I think I will try the nothing at parties approach until I get a handle on this and until I'm sure my old habits are really gone!

Last edited by pinkflower; 08-23-2010 at 11:45 AM.
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