[Palestrina]

I love my mom to bits and she's a great mom. No complaints. But here's my rant. My mom is skinny... she wears a size 2. She's also very fashionable and looks great in her fifties and I'm proud of her I really am! It's just so hard not to look as good as she does eventhough I'm so much younger. She's fit, active, and healthy. She wears bikinis and spaghetti straps and cute little belts and her feet don't spill out of her stilettos. Everyone is always complimenting her and when they see pictures of her or meet her my friends say "that's your mom?????" You know how most guys say that if you want to know what a woman's gonna look like later in life just look at her mother? Well I feel like they're looking at her and thinking "why doesn't she look nearly as good as her mother now?" I feel so frumpy and ugly next to her. It's like I can feel everyone's pity when they look at us side by side. How can I have better self-esteem when my mother outshines me?

[roxmysox]

No advice, but I can relate My mom is very similar, but still goes on and on about how "fat" she is. It's really hard on the old self-esteem sometimes.

[ariana419]

No advice really, just sorry that you have another obstacle in your way of this journey. But your on your way!! Just have her be your motivation, instead of some picture on the fridge!

[Cglasscock1]

I can so relate. I have been overweight for about 40 years and during this time, my mother was mostly a slim 130 pounds, considered a beauty, and dressed to perfection. I always felt a sense of competition from her when I was a trim and pretty teenager. After gaining weight as an adult, I felt embarrassed beside her. I have always felt that part of my weight issue has to do with my relationship with my mother, so I am glad that you feel close to your mother. I wish I could say that.

Since you do feel close to her, have you thought about really opening up to her about your weight struggles? She may have some insight to share about how she keeps her weight under control. She could be a great allie to you in this if you feel comfortable with this idea. Tell her how much you want to reach your goal and that you need support.

Besides that, your self esteem should be always be based on the inner you.
Look inside for the things that are great and unique about yourself. The first thing you must do to lose weight is love yourself enough to do the hard work of losing weight. You have lost over 25 pounds and are doing great! Please keep up the good work and you and your mother may one day be sharing clothes!

[Mahalia]

My best friend has always been trim and healthy. We never actually talked about weight, but once I started talking to her about it, I was shocked to discover that she had really think about what she eats and being active in order to maintain her weight. I just thought she was lucky, and different from me. Talking to her about how she controls her weight has been really helpful to me. I've learned a lot from mental tricks that she uses. For example, if she's trying to lose a couple of pounds (she sometimes gains 5-10 and then drops it again) and she's eating less and feeling hungry, she tells herself "that's good. If I'm hungry it means it's working".

I'm convinced that no one over 35 is naturally thin. They have good habits, they don't eat very much, they are active. They are doing all the things that we are trying to do, but maybe they learned it in childhood or it's a habit they don't think of. Maybe there's something to learn from her.

If that doesn't help, you can be encouraged that when you are done with your journey you WILL look better than her!

[lucysam77]

Hi wannabeskinny
You are young and can lose all the pounds you want... it's hard but possible. Don't look at your mom, she's beautiful... that's great!... but don't low your self-esteem because of her... instead work harder and think about how beautiful you're gonna look in a few months.
Good Luck :-)

[TERAPET]

Looking good is not all about weight. So your mom has that skinny thing going on for her but you have your own assets as well. I think young people just naturally look beautiful in all sizes. Why do you think people have plastic surgery? They are trying to recapture that younger look. You know what they say-youth is wasted on the young. Really, take another look at yourself. Congrats on your weight loss so far. If being thin will make you feel more beautiful, then you are on your way to that too but I bet you are a pretty thing just the way you are.

[Glory87]

My mom has also been slender all my life, 5'4", around 110 lbs, adorable figure, gorgeous legs. I always thought I was huge compared to my mom, but when I lost weight, I realized we have the exact same body shape (small shoulders, little wrists, legs shaped exactly the same).

I always thought my mom was a knock-out, and while I sometimes felt sad I wasn't lucky enough to get her "easy to be skinny-ness" (she forgets to eat! wtf!), I never really felt competitive.

Now that I'm smaller, I revel in our similarities - who knew collarbones could be genetic?

Here we are in February on my wedding day:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...&id=1401845193

Visit for her birthday last November
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...&id=1401845193

[Palestrina]

Originally Posted by Cglasscock1

I can so relate. I have been overweight for about 40 years and during this time, my mother was mostly a slim 130 pounds, considered a beauty, and dressed to perfection. I always felt a sense of competition from her when I was a trim and pretty teenager. After gaining weight as an adult, I felt embarrassed beside her. I have always felt that part of my weight issue has to do with my relationship with my mother, so I am glad that you feel close to your mother. I wish I could say that.

Since you do feel close to her, have you thought about really opening up to her about your weight struggles? She may have some insight to share about how she keeps her weight under control. She could be a great allie to you in this if you feel comfortable with this idea. Tell her how much you want to reach your goal and that you need support.

Besides that, your self esteem should be always be based on the inner you.
Look inside for the things that are great and unique about yourself. The first thing you must do to lose weight is love yourself enough to do the hard work of losing weight. You have lost over 25 pounds and are doing great! Please keep up the good work and you and your mother may one day be sharing clothes!

Thank you for your kind words, you and everyone. I really do wish I could open up to her about my struggles but I don't think she can understand. I'm a binger, an over-eater, I obsess over food. When I have tried to talk to her in the past she looks at me with a blank stare because she can't fathom being that hungry. She says "so what if you get hungry, we're all hungry but just deal with it" but to me it's torture. I don't want to say I'm jealous of her or competitive, I don't want her to look less great than she does. In fact I love going shopping with her and picking out clothes with her because it's so much fun to dress her, she can pull off anything! I just feel so humpty dumpty next to her.