Body Image and Issues after Weight Loss Including discussions about excess skin and reconstructive surgery

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Old 06-03-2010, 08:06 AM   #1  
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Default Can't see myself how other people see me . . .

I've lost over 30 lbs., gone from a 14 to an 8, and I have toned my body in ways I never thought I could. I can run 3 miles, finish a 60 min spin class or yoga class, and rock out some resistance training. But I still look in the mirror sometimes and I literally DO NOT SEE THE DIFFERENCE. I have some pictures of 8 lbs. ago and I think I still look fat. I'm wearing bikinis (I've gotten HIT ON in a bikini, by a decent looking guy), and I get checked out often. Every day at work, someone comments on how much weight I've lost/how good I look. My boyfriend and my good friend (who is a teeny size 4) tell me all the time how awesome I look, and I think I'm driving them crazy still calling myself fat and comparing myself to people who are larger than me. I just have NO CONCEPT of my body, and on top of that, I don't know where I'm gonna find the motivation to finish these last 10 lbs. How do I get over this? I know in theory I'm not fat anymore, but I still SEE the pockets of plumpness and I can't get them out of my head. I think my belly has gotten smaller, but it's so hard for me to see it.

Thanks!!

Last edited by stella1609; 06-03-2010 at 08:10 AM.
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Old 06-03-2010, 12:52 PM   #2  
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Don't worry, I have the same problem as well.
The only thing I really notice now
is my legs.

I think a "new body" is going to
take a little long to get use to.
Try seeing what clothes fit best
on you or what you think you look
good in. I mean, you're wearing a
bikini so that must be something
positive, right? Take the compliments
as motivation and loose those last 10
lbs to see how you look.
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Old 06-17-2010, 08:39 PM   #3  
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I am exactly the same. I went from a 14 to an 8, too. I do plyometrics, can run four miles without stopping at a decent pace, and can now do all kinds of crazy yoga poses and push up variations. And I still think I look fat, even though I'm sure if a size 8 woman walked by me I wouldn't think she was one bit fat. I wish I had some advice, but at least you know you're not alone.
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Old 06-17-2010, 10:03 PM   #4  
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what is it with the size 8! WHen i started i would have been thrilled to see a size 8, but i'm like you ladies now - I feel huge in an 8 and cannot wait to get into a 6!
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Old 06-24-2010, 04:53 PM   #5  
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I feel the exact same way. In fact, I'm less happy with myself as a solid size 8 than when I was a 10. Do you think there's something about this body size that's unsatisfying? Like it's an in-between size - not heavy anymore but certainly not thin? Because I feel as far from thin as I did before - ???????

PS - I think it's fun that we're all the same size at somewhat different heights and weights.
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Old 06-25-2010, 09:59 AM   #6  
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Sorry to hijack the thread...but yes what is with the size 8? I'm an 8/10 but it just just feel like an akward size...like maybe it's between fat (Ok I know I'm not fat anymore, none of us are) and thin. There is still just these areas that I have that just need to go and for the love of God I hope when they do I'm finally happy. I'll probably then find something else to not like and I NEED to get over that (we all do) because if we keep trying to perfect our bodies we'll never be happy and in the end we may come to the conclusion that it was all for nothing and gain the weight back. We need to come to terms with the bodies we were give and embrace them for what they are, cause I dont' know about you all, but I refuse to be a regain statistic!
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Old 06-25-2010, 01:23 PM   #7  
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Sorry Stella1609, we did kind of take over the thread. But I think it's pretty clear that you're not alone with this problem!
I don't have a terrific solution, but when I'm feeling low or like I've made little progress I think "well, would you rather go back to where you were? Heck no!" The small changes I have made so far to my body, my stamina and my overall health DO matter.
Yes, there's still room for improvement. It doesn't undo what we've done! And you've done a LOT - 30 lbs!!! Wow!
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Old 06-25-2010, 01:34 PM   #8  
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The way I got over the body image issues is by starting to believe what my hubby and everyone else was saying when they complimented me. Why would they say it if it wasn't true? You've been hit on at your most exposed. That says something too!

It just takes time. Start listening to those around you and ignore everything in your own head.
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Old 06-25-2010, 02:53 PM   #9  
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Stella, I completely understand.

I am within 10 pounds of goal and I have realized that the body I have now is basically my ideal size. I am surprised how much belly fat I have and my thighs have lots of cellulite. And my abdominal girth (35") is actually larger than my chest (34").

And I'm a size 4, a size that I thought would transform my ugly duckling body into a swan. Nope. That is why you'll hear women who are size 4 complain about their weight. The truth is...all women, no matter their size, have fat distributed in less than ideal ways.

One thing that hit me recently was that my "ideal" is what I see in magazines. Basically, I would have to be 10 pounds underweight to get my arms the way I think they are "supposed" to look.

I don't have any answers for you, but I try to be loving toward my body. I say nice things to myself, even about the less than ideal parts.

Keep going in your weight loss journey, but losing weight won't make you love your body. You need to starting loving it right now.
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Old 07-14-2010, 11:16 PM   #10  
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Yep yep - Always wanted to lose weight - would have been happy with a size 10 - now I'm a 6 and although I don't want to go down a size I'd like to be a perfect 135... Even though I know my body wants me to stay around 140 - I tasted 134 for a day and it was delicious - And if I look in the mirror (as long as I've been eating right and taking care of myself) I'm pretty happy with what I see - it's this idea number that's killing me - I know intellectually that I'm being silly but I just can't let go of wanting to lose weight - and even though I don't have an eating disorder (aside from the occasional binge) it feels like that mentality - It's REALLY HARD to transition from weight loss to maintenance - Tips?
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Old 07-15-2010, 09:48 AM   #11  
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You know, it's getting better! It started with noticing myself in the mirror in spin class. And little by little, I'm getting it. I think I still have a long ways to go, but it seems like I'm finally starting to feel thin . . .
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Old 07-15-2010, 06:01 PM   #12  
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I totally agree. I went from a size 10/12 to a size 6/8.

But now I see all these flaws within me: my arms are flabby, my thighs are wayy too thick, my tummy still hangs, and my calves are too wide, and I can still pinch about 2 inches of fat off of me.

It also doesn't help that I bought a pair of Club Monaco shorts (finally dared to) that are a TIGHT size 4, and I can't zip up another pair of size 5/6 pants from Jacob. So what am I? Am I still a size 8? This mind f*ckery does not help.

As well, the mirrors I've noticed in the malls give you such a distorted sense of self. The changing rooms highlight every single flaw, whereas the ones outside stretch and pull you until you look like a perfect, thin and lanky version of yourself.

Therefore, I don't trust myself. I don't trust mirrors, and I definitely don't trust other people's perceptions of me.
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Old 07-16-2010, 11:33 PM   #13  
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I agree about mall mirrors! I know they are working against us all, and make us look horrible. I know this because before I try on the clothes I notice my own clothes look way horribler than they did when I dressed at home.

You would think that they would make them so you would look better, right? I almost never by clothes in certian stores because of their mirrors and lighting.

About not seeing yourself how others see you, I have felt that way as well. I looked in the mirror a bit ago and didn't believe I was seeing my leg as thin as it looked and had to touch it to get a sense of reality. I thought it was a light trick of the black sweat pant leg against the other, but that was my leg!

Or when I see myself cycling in the mirror, I can't believe those are my muscular calves, or that my stomach isn't hanging out like it used to. Sometimes I push it out for fun to try and remember what it was like when I was heavier.

Hang in there, it'll hit you sooner or later
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Old 07-17-2010, 11:03 AM   #14  
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I got a heaping spoonful of this yesterday when I pointed out a woman in the mall and said, "Look how thin she is," and my friend said, "You're thinner than she is." I didn't believe her. But she was adamant.

I think it takes time to get used to our new shapes. I think I'm going to take a few pictures of myself in my workout clothes, in jeans, etc, to get a better idea.
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Old 07-17-2010, 04:10 PM   #15  
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People tell me I've lost so much weight ect, but all I can see is what I still have to lose. Sure I look better than I did, but I still look disgusting and still have huge rolls of flab that stick out and show when I sit down unless I'm wearing tights which pull it all in, and then I know I'm cheating because of the tights.

I went on a night out recently, I felt good in my pirate outfit and people exclaimed about my weight loss and told me I looked great, but when I saw the FB pictures, I looked MASSIVE. All my chins had come out to play, my legs are huge, my arms are like hams....

And the worst thing is I know I'll never really be happy even if I do somehow manage to hit target. I'll have loose skin from beng overweight my entire life, and I've already got saggy tits which will only get saggier. And I cannot afford to have these fixed unless a miracle occurs and I win the lottery. Wether fat or thin I'll be unhappy with what I see

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