[SpookyXXL]

I have always loved to cook, especially for those I love, I admit I am one of those people for whom feeding and caring for people tend to go together.
I try to cook healthy and something my new BF of 2 months said made me ask if he had ever been heavier than he is now (his swim trunks are pretty big) and he shocked me by telling me he was about 100 pounds bigger partly due to some meds he no longer needs, and his being a IT Student and not working/moving much.
Now he has a physical job and eats a lot less and yet he is still not a slender guy so I am trying to cook as healthy as I can for him not because i care if he loses but I want him to be healthy and i dont want to feel like i pushed him back to being over 300 pounds and because I dont need the temptation of too many goodies.

I dont want to deprive him of my cooking which he loves or myself of the joy of creating different things but I am determined that he learn more about nutrition and how to eat healthy, about protein and carb balancing and also I have gotten him to join my gym and I am showing him alot of the Aquatic Aerobics I do and how to use water weights.

Just as he says he does not care what size I am as long as I am healthy and happy I dont care if he never loses a pound more but I want him healthy and he seems to be receptive.

SO here is my questions:
Do the changes you make in your own health and eating seem to be effecting those close to you? Or do they resist any change?
Do those close to you want or even care about eating better? Or do they just humor you?
What are some of your experiences good or bad trying to get those close to you to eat better?

[jillybean720]

I don't try to push anyone to eat better. I know even from my own past that that usually backfires, and people need to WANT to eat healthier, not be pushed toward it. That said, I think leading by example is the best thing you can do. My husband often no longer eats the buns on sandwiches when we eat out. He'll still eat fries as a side, but if he gets a cheesesteak hoagie, for example, he'll eat all the insides out with a fork and leave the roll behind. I never suggested he do this nor told him it would be healthier or anything like that - he just kind of started doing it. He has also given up regular sodas and now usually drinks water or diet soda. Again, I never told him to do this or even talked about it other than in terms of myself.

[dani4a]

Haha, my best friend has been joking that he's been gaining weight since I had my surgery. Now he gets all my leftovers.

[SpookyXXL]

Originally Posted by dani4a

Haha, my best friend has been joking that he's been gaining weight since I had my surgery. Now he gets all my leftovers.

the oppisite is true with Alex, I am still at the 2 to 3 oz and you are done phase so I just steal a little food off of his plate.

[SpookyXXL]

Originally Posted by jillybean720

I don't try to push anyone to eat better.

I try not to lecture or deprive him, I just make sure what I prepare is healthy and I dont give into the urge to do things like buy him slices of fancy cake when they are on sale (no one NEEDS dessert like that) I buy fruit I know he likes and I dont make whip cream like I use to everytime we have fruit.
I dont say much when he buys Dark Chocolate Lindor balls since I buy the lindt bars with the tiny individual truffles (like 25 cal each and now I can eat maybe 1 a day IF that) but at the same time I dont buy him big candy bars of it like I did when we first met, though he did make them last a long time.
I know he wants to be healthier he has talked about it and so instead of lecturing too much if he says he was tired at work I ask what protein he ate (he is a bit of a carb monster), since he has met me he now takes a yogurt to work with him for a snack and I am trying to get him to try also taking a cheese stick or two for an energy burst.
He tells me I am good for him, that loving me makes him want to take better care of himself, and I point out that the better he does the easier it is for me to stick to my food plan and not cheat, which he is really glad to help with.


Also I got my grandma to try southbeach while I was on it and she says she feels a lot better now just by eating a bit more healthy which makes me feel good.

[nanj]

My DH has lost 44 pounds, and my DD has lost 25 pounds. I love to cook and if there is something that I just can't live without then I just find away too cook it healthier with little flavor lost. No one here is deprived. There are a few exceptions and of course the quality of my food is different. I have yet to find a really healthy Mac and Cheese. I do make it with reduced cheese, skimmed milk, whole wheat pasta, but it still has lots of calories, so.....I just eat treat it as a side dish, about a fourth of a cup, and eat more roasted vegetables and a thin slice of high protein homemade bread. I do eat pizza when I go with my family, but it is not my main entree, the salad is and I don't usually eat the outer crust of the pizza. At home, I make homemade whole wheat crust, but still limit myself to one piece. Desserts....we have them very rarely. Fruit of choice for us is apples because it is low glycemic. Ice cream.....I mix english toffee flavored stevia with greek yogurt, add an inch of banana, a few strawberries, sometimes pineapple or blueberries, freeze, and then I've got a banana split. I drizzle a SF carmel sauce over that (use a fork) and sometimes a drollop light Cool Whip. The other dessert favorite for me is skimmed ricotta with stevia flavoring, layered with sf chocolate pudding. All of these are things that my family will eat. I usually only fix a meat and veggie (on the low glycemic scale) for meals. Fill in with boiled eggs, cooked shrimp with homemade sauce and stuff like that if I'm having full fat lasagna for example. I do eat fast foods once in a while out of necessity. Wendy's will give me a sammie in a bowl. (no bread). Donato's Pizza will do a crustless veggie pizza for me. Now about foods that we shouldn't really eat......don't get started and it won't torture you. If they tell you not to eat refined sugar products, then don't. There are a few things I can't have in the house: Cheese crackers, M&Ms, Shortbread cookies,etc. I will eat them, I will be sick and shaky, and gassy. I will hate myself and my family will hate me!

[jiffypop]

spooky, honey. that last line in your later post has haunted me. 'so i just steal a little off his plate.'

IMO, it just really points up the first thing you said - that food is love for you. it's a tough TOUGH issue to separate.

the fact of the matter is that food is energy and calories. it can be very healthful and work FOR you, or it can work against you.

it's NOT an emotion. it can't fix anything but hunger - it won't fix anger, or boredom. it's not love.

you are taking many wonderful steps for yourself and for those you love. eating healthier - exercise. When i remember your comments from when you first joined our little group, you are an absolute success story!!! i'm suggesting that you look at this emotional link you have going on. it's really important.

and how do i know? i have the same problem!!!!! i've 'solved' it by cooking things i want to, and giving most of it away. and i'm at the point where i'm freaked out by having a full refrigerator [it's pretty full right now, but i happily look at the several single serve containers of FF greek yogurt, and ignore the rest - i'll have to deal with it soon, though]. still a work in progress!!!!

[SpookyXXL]

Originally Posted by jiffypop

spooky, honey. that last line in your later post has haunted me. 'so i just steal a little off his plate.'

I meant when we go out he usually pays and I feel horrible if he pays for something (even ala carte) and I only eat a little of it so if I can't find anything simple, small and cheap on the menu I snag part of his (we go out after a late night roll playing game on sunday to dennys and often have breakfast food and their late night menu is NOT my friend)
I have done this with other people as well if they buy a large chicken sandwich or an omelette or quiche
At home I make different versions for him and me since I am still on softs and lots of foods make me ill still, I can't seem to get past the 2 oz phase often and even then get sick to my stomach once in a while if I eat a little fast or it is too spicey.

I am seeing a councilor now and we do talk about food as emotion though I have been doing really good now that I realize what I was doing where feeding Alex is concerned, realizing that I was loading him up with all the goodies I WANTED to have and cant.
I have actually done really well with head cravings since most of the food I crave makes me either gassy and pained or throw up and i HATE those worse than I want the food so i now avoid them like the plauge.