in my quest for better health. I am excited to have him join me but a little worried too. He asked me for advice to get started and then when I gave him my 2 cents he balked at my suggestions.
His plan:
Breakfast-skip
snack-skip
Lunch-Kashi granola bar, apple, water
snack-skip
Dinner-smaller portions of whatever we'd be having anyway.
I suggested eating something for breakfast, having a small snack, something substantial for lunch which includes a protein, whole grains, veggies. Another snack and then something healthy for dinner, like I have been having...lean protein (chicken, lean beef) a grain-whole wheat pasta, tortilla, bread etc and salad with tons of interesting veggies. And then another snack before bed.
His response: "Oh, I want to keep it simple". He is thinking D I E T. I am thinking LIFESTYLE CHANGE. I am happy that he's interested in getting healthier but know that diets don't work long term for most.
My plan is to just be supportive. If he asks for advice I will offer it but will not be upset if he "poo-poos" the advice. I'll send him some great links to check out weight loss himself.
I know everyone is different, every relationship is different but any generalities to suggest what might help?
Every needs some space to fail on their own so they can learn from it! If there is anything I've learned over the years about weight loss is that there is no simple strategy or program that works for everyone. Your boyfriend is making an effort and that is great! If he sees that what he is doing isn't working for him I think he will recognize it and make the changes that will.
Failure is a positive thing sometimes. Its a learning experience. If I didn't "fail" I'd never have found what works for me.
My tactic with my husband is to drop my suggestions into conversations we're having about whatever problem he may be complaining of at the time. Example: "You know, honey, studies have shown that eating a breakfast which includes a significant quantity of protein will curb hunger for the rest of the day. Just something to think about." Or: "Did you know that bodybuilders use the formula of 1 gram of protein per 1 pound of lean body mass in their diets? Yeah, apparently if you don't get enough protein, athletic performance suffers...something to think about with your workout routine."
Basically I tailor my advice to whatever issue he is having at the moment, rather than attempting to educate him all at once. Over time, I've nudged him into a lot of changes this way.
Another thing I do is to say: "I know this works really well, from my own experience. What if you committed to trying it just for a little while--say, 30 days? Then if you don't like it or it doesn't work for you, you can go back."
Yikes. He doesn't want to follow your lead huh? I have the exact opposite problem...I have to be pretty darn perfect because my husband will do as I do.
Matt has good advice, I think. Unfortunately, he may have to learn for himself. But you can be right there when he asks "Why isn't this working?"
I agree with Matt too... My ex-roommate used to tell me exactly how to lose weight and I hated it!! I refused to do what she suggested (because I am too stubborn) and tried my own way. Four months later, she was 50 pounds lighter and I had gained 12 pounds. I now follow almost the exact same plan she did, and have been losing pretty quickly. I get it now, but I used to get SO angry with her trying to tell me what was right for me. I needed to do it the wrong way to know for myself that it didn't work.
Yeah he's setting himself up for a big failure- starving yourself = gaining the weight back and then some.
Eventually he'll see when he gains it all back that it's NOT going to be simple. If it were that easy nobody would be overweight.
I also agree 100% with this.
My finace just tried to drop down to 1400 cals a day, with exercise (even after I explained to him that 1400 cals is not enough food for him to eat daily) and after a week he had actually gained a couple of pounds, after going up and down all week.
Point being, boys are stubborn, they want to do things themselves and they will only listen after they have tried and failed.
Just let him do his thing... all you can do is state your piece when he asks for your opinions. If he decides to follow your advice or not is on him...
I would keep trying to get him on the right path. He will find out quickly that if that is all he is eating he is going to be STARVING and hopefully then will listen and allow you to help him the right way!! I am glad though he is wanting to try and is ready to make changes for himself as well.
My husband has decided he wants to lose weight as well. Initially, he came up with a fairly restrictive plan that was going to be very impractical and not particularly easy to maintain. I told him that I didn't think he needed to go that far, and that maybe he should just try watching his portions and using a food journal for a few weeks so he can make the best decision for him. He tried it, and after losing 5 pounds the first week, has decided to stick with moderate portions and writing down what he eats. It also helped that we made a meal plan for him.
Since he's wanting to keep it simple, maybe just show some easy meals. DH likes to have everythign very specific so he doesn't need to think about it. So instead of suggesting lean meat and some vegtables and whole grains, why not suggest a complete and specific meal? For lunch- a sandwich with wheat bread, lunchmeat, cheese and lettuce. an apple and some baby carrots. For dinner a bbq chicken breast with a small baked potato and some steamed broccoli. That type of thing. He might repeat things a lot for awhile, but, it sounds like he's worried about trying to plan everything. You can also do things like make meals or snacks ahead of time. I made a whole tons of breakfast sandwiches for DH and bought some yogurt. For breakfast, all he does is throw one in the microwave and grab some yogurt, no thinking or real planning necessary.
Boyfriend has expressed interest in joining me...
If there is anything I've learned over the years about weight loss is that there is no simple strategy or program that works for everyone. Your boyfriend is making an effort and that is great! If he sees that what he is doing isn't working for him I think he will recognize it and make the changes that will. 
