Well I guess I just binged. Knew what I was doing....but it was over a longer period of time instead of stuffing myself over a period of 30 minutes. But now that I'm doing the tally I've had 3 Reeses pieces klondike bars, 2 bowls of dry granola, and a slimfast bar all in addition to the normal dinner I had of a salad and a bowl of macncheese with tuna. Bought those klondike bars yesterday so that I could practice some self control and attempt to NOT binge on them. But of course here I am....ate 3 of them, at 260 calories a piece...fantastic. Hope to God I have energy in the morning to put in a good workout. And it's sad because I don't even want to bother with saying that I'll get back on track on tomorrow....I'm just sick and TIRED of saying that. Fall off, jump on, fall off, jump on ect ect ect This is going to take me FOREVER to change. I'm sure therapy is helping a little but of course I was hoping it to be a "snap your fingers" and I'm cured sort of deal. Once I start my rotations this summer I don't think I'll even be able to continue with therapy, then where will I be? OJ I apologize for the rant, but this is the only place I can open up about this. If you took the time to read this...thanks
I'm sorry you've had a hard night and I hope you're feeling better soon! But, you know what's worse than saying "I'll get back on track tomorrow"? Saying, "I quit." But I know you won't quit cause you are strong and determined and even though it's hard right now, it won't be that way forever because you're making small changes for the better, just like all of us!
OH man i have been there and done that.. trust me it will get easier.. but you need to figure out why how.. what triggered it.. also what worked for me.. gum chew that gum until your jaw hurts.. man i went through packs and packs of gum my first three weeks and your binge.. wasnt that horrible i have deff had worse!!! but dont worry just get back op tomorrow and learn from this
We're here to listen! *hug*
To be honest, I think you need the trigger foods out of your house; I personally still don't like to have MY trigger foods in the house, even though it's been three-or four months since I touched them.
Chin up! It get's so much easier so quickly, soon enough it'll be second nature to you and part of your everyday life without any hassle <3
thanks guys. Believe me I know all about analyzing the situation to figure out the why and what emotion is behind all of it. I wasn't happy, sad, upset, or stressed. I just wanted to EAT. And then once I got going the whole "I don't give a crap" attitude started to come into play and by then I just really don't care. And I know all about the trigger foods...I've actually got pb and cereal, 2 of my worst trigger foods in the past, in the apt right now and I've been fine with that. I had a feeling about the klondike bars....I literally stood in the grocery aisle debating in my head whether to buy them or not. One voice tells me it'll be fine....everyone else on the planet can have icecream in their freezer and not think twice about it. I think what upsets me more is that I HATE being scared of having a certain food in the apt because I might binge on it. So then I become defiant and think...darn it all , I'm gonna buy that stupid icecream and I'm NOT gonna binge on it so there! But then of course I do :-/ But anyways, life goes on, putting yesterday behind me.
You are not alone. I have been in recovery for binge eating for a couple years and I still binge sometimes. I binged last night too, on 3 cups of rice and 2 bananas- which is no better or worse than Klondike bars & granola.
I know exactly what you mean when you went into the store and bought the Klondike bars. You told yourself you could control it, just have one. But you were tricking yourself into a binge. When I go shopping and I think about buying a bag of chips or a pint of ice cream, I look at the calories for the ENTIRE package. I ask myself if I can live with eating a 1,200 carton of "lite" ice cream in one sitting. Baked Lays are at least 900 cal for the whole bag. That is my serving size, not 1 oz like the label says.
Any item that I can't eat one serving and be satisfied is a trigger food & is not in my apartment. That includes healthy stuff like chick peas and olive oil. And even Crystal Light. I drink that stuff by the gallons and it's not healthy to do that, even if it's low cal. I am so tired of buying food that I can't keep in my house for more than 3 days.
You wouldn't expect an ex smoker to keep cigarettes in their house or an alcoholic to have a bottle of vodka. There is nothing wrong with us binge eaters to not stock our pantries with foods we can't eat safely.
I wish there was an easy solution to curing binge eating, but I was using food as the easy solution. So trying to cope with life in a healthy way takes practice. And I have dusted myself off this morning and am carrying on.
duqserb - I totally understand how you feel!! Sometimes, I think we just like to much on stuff because eating is fun, food tastes good, and it's relaxing to have a snack....
It's okay! It will be fine. Put it behind you - focus on the day ahead, and have one meal at a time. Take it 10 minutes at a time if you have to... We are always here for ya!!
I know how you feel, believe me! Yesterday was my first day in *5* that I didn't binge. And each of my binges were worse than yours. I also get tired of saying, "OK I'll start again tomorrow," but like someone above said, it's so much better than saying, "I quit." For me, I almost need to hit a rock bottom with my binging. That was this weekend, when I put on a pair of workout shorts that I just bought and they felt the slightest bit tighter. It doesn't matter whether or not I actually gained weight (I'm sure I did!), but that feeling in my heart of, "OMG no, not again. No. I've gotta keep going forward." was enough to jumpstart myself.
When you start again, perhaps try something different so that this restart feels different. It doesn't have to (and shouldn't) be dramatic, like a new type of diet or restricting certain foods. My restarts have been marked by starting running (which I've been doing for 9 months now!), joining 3FC, buying myself a new food journal and fun, colorful pens to write in it... It doesn't solve my eating problems, but it feels different and I can usually go much longer without binging. I build up confidence and start learning about myself. I still screw up and binge sometimes, but looking back, I realize how far I've come. =)
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