As I am creeping up in my years, I am really getting a bit panicked and nervous, and honestly, upset at myself for my weight. I am realizing how much my weight is really impacting the life I want for myself. At this weight, I cannot do a lot of physical activities, even if I wanted to, because it would just wear me out or I might have injuries (say, doing a big marathon, or going on the type of hike I want that requires some upper body strength). I still have the issue with some chairs, and clothes and shoes are always an issue it seems. There is also the issue of weight and how it affects how you are perceived professionally, and even your anticipated income!
I keep saying that when I reach a certain weight it will be easier for me to do certain things. I realize that I have been saying that for years, and I feel like it is just silly at this point.
I also see people who seem to have these normal, regular lives, through almost no effort, just by chance. And that is what I want. A normal, regular life. Since my breakup, I have been having an increased fear of being alone, and I have worried about becoming the older woman alone in her apartment. Sometimes I look at other people and how they say they got with their partner and created their family seems so effortless in a lot of ways.
I just find myself a bit upset at myself for how I have let my weight shape my life and limit myself. Does anyone else ever feel this way?
I realize that sticking with my healthier eating and working on home projects and even the idea of going back to school are good steps in the right direction.