I am new - not only to my 30s (birthday was a month ago) nor to the forum, but to serious attempts at weight loss at all. I'm keeping track of calories (starting yesterday, woot!) for the first time in my life.
I find myself at a funny place in my town, because nearly all my girlfriends are either a) significantly younger than me or b) married, and beginning to have children. Now, it's not that being single is my goal in life. I'd love to be in a good relationship, and really desire to marry and have children before my ovaries dry up =). But I prefer no relationship to a bad relationship, and until I meet someone much more promising than the last several I've given a chance to, nothing is happening in the romance department.
All of which is okay - I am happy, and I have a lot of purpose in my life. I am pursuing a deeper level of emotional health than I had in my 20s (mostly working through dysfunctional family issues), and now I'm pursuing better physical health as well. I'm just hoping there are some other ladies in a similar position - because, while I love my married/with children friends, I have enough of them to keep track of around here. And while I have sympathy for those who can't live without a man, I'm not up for daily griping about the opposite sex.
So my question is - what are you 30-something singletons doing to find purpose, create love and wholeness around you, and develop yourselves as people who do not have a biological/nuclear family to care for? How does your pursuit of physical health feed into that?
Hey Butternutter! I have no insight on being single... lol I am married to my high school sweetheart, but I just wanted to give a shout out to another Tennesseean. I am in East Tn with the Smokies in my back yard.
Hi, Squeak! Yes, aren't the Smokies lovely? I'm down in the 'nooga area, myself - so our mountains are a little smaller - but I get a little north and east of here whenever I can.
Well. I'm single but I do have a family since I'm divorced. My kids are all I have here though, my family doesn't live anywhere nearby. Actually working out and trying to take care of my body gives me something TO do. I'm trying to learn to embrace my singlehood and enjoy the freedom that I have, do things that I love and make myself happy.
I am 32 years old and single as well. I can't have children, even if I had a husband or boyfriend. I do have my nieces and nephew to fill my life though! They are my joy. I don't have many friends, but it looks like the ones that I do have are either married or getting married, so I'm pretty much a loner in that respect. I was beginning to think I was the only one here who didn't have kids!
I'm 35 soon to 36, single no kids. I'm embracing my singleness by doing everything that I want to. My dog's unconditional love means the world to me. Right now I'm between sets of friends. I"m looking for find more health minded active friends. I'm okay with being single, but I'd like to find that special someone. Someone to share the day with, lean on, love me for what's inside, share hugs and a shoulder to lean on. Hopefully, I'll find it. I keep busy with lots of things, spend a lot of time at my local township park. But evenings, when it's dark and others have their spouses etc., I'm lonely. It's gotta be right though. Unless it's right, I'm staying single. I refuse to settle and will stick to my guns.
Hi butternutter,
i'm 34, single, no kids and i often feel in the same boat. everyone around me has a family or is married. i feel like the odd one out all the time.
i'm sort of the opposite of you though i embraced singleness and independance through most of my 20's, and it's just recently i feel like i would like to find someone to grow old with.
but maybe it's good to see what kind of things you come up with.
I have things i like to do, but they are loner things and it's hard to find a single girlfriend to hang out with anymore. maybe that is why i'm feeling like somethings amiss.
Violin Jenn - I hear you. =) Today in church I saw a couple in front of me - she leaned her head on his shoulder, and it warmed my heart and didn't even spark a twinge of jealousy - until I realized that I was sitting in a whole row of girls, mostly my younger sister and her roommates, all of whom have leaned their head on my shoulder for comfort every now and then. And I can't remember the last time I was with a man I knew I could lean on.
However, I did realize how good it is to have the love of those who need me, because a lot of women don't even have that. So for now, I'll take being a big sister, and a surrogate big sister/mom to multiple others...and I'll keep taking care of myself, and get better and better at it!
Kaebea - LOL... even when you DO have single girlfriends...I've been noticing recently that when my married friends get together, they invite me and my roommate together to their events. We're both heterosexual, so it's not awkward in that sense, but it is amusing that people don't seem to know what to do with a fifth or seventh or ninth wheel. So they assume I'll bring her, because how weird would it be for me to come alone...!
Im 31 and single..in fact i've been a bachlor(ette) for some years now. I fulfill my days by doing whatever strikes my fancy for that moment. I also have friends that are hopping on the marriage circut, and I'm sure it bewilders them when they think about my alone-ness. the thing is that although I have fleeting needs for companionship, it is not consuming me in any manner. I smile...alone is not the same as lonely. if you are lonely, then seek out like minded people. take a chance and join a group. you never know what might come of it. As for me, i'm rather set in my ways, and have very varied and somewhat risque interests. Its difficult for me to maintain interest in people in the romantic sense. maybe i'll find someone who will turn me on and keep me interested. but i just roll with my singleness for now.
Constructive Singleness for 30s
i embraced singleness and independance through most of my 20's, and it's just recently i feel like i would like to find someone to grow old with.
and it's hard to find a single girlfriend to hang out with anymore. maybe that is why i'm feeling like somethings amiss.
