I think my diet may be making me unhappy - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

CurlyWurly · 03-22-2010, 09:03 AM

I thought I would feel better if I was nicer to my body and ate healthily, but these last few days I just feel tired and run down. That constant head ache as finally shifted but I still get it occasionally. I feel a bit depressed! Usually when I get a bit stressed or down I eat and it makes me feel better... now it feels like everything is piling up on me and I want to eat my way out of this misery but the only comfort that I have I am not allowing myself.

It's frustrating because there's not even anything wrong really. Life has never been better.... yet I can't shake this miserable feeling. I just want to eat!

And I wonder if it is me not allowing myself chocolate and treats that has made me feel so bummed out?

Sigh... I guess there's not any real point to this thread. Has anyone else felt totoally depressed and lost in the first weeks of a diet, and if so, does it go away after you get used to it?

CurlyWurly · 03-22-2010, 09:04 AM

I also miss tea-comfort. A cold glass of water is nice... but it's not quite the same as hot warm lovely cup of tea for making everything better!

CharlieBaby · 03-22-2010, 09:12 AM

I think there's a point to this thread - if only to let you let out your emotions (without eating).

I think most people find the adjustment period at the start of any new eating regime to be a challenge - if it wasn't, we'd all be at our goal weights! And our bodies have a lot to adjust to, right? We go from eating whatever we like, to limiting some of our heavily relied upon staples. It's a big change, so it's a big challenge.

I think it goes away. I really think I remember it going away. It hasn't been as tough this time around because I'm trying to only cut out one or two things flat out, and the rest of my eating I just try to make healthier, or at least smaller portions.

And here's what is important to remember - you are an adult, and you are in charge of making your decisions. No one is forcing you to do this. This is a choice - a choice to be healthy, a choice to lead a more sustainable lifestyle and not just go crazy and have only soup for five months or whatever. You are perfectly capable of deciding what you will and will not have. It's not that you CAN'T have chocolate bars - you are choosing to eat healthier foods instead. You could have all the chocolate you wanted, if that was your choice. But you are (I think) trying to eat a more well balanced diet.

It WILL get easier. You'll adjust. Your body will realize what's going on, and it will thank you for it. And we're all here for support if you need it.

Instead of eating to comfort yourself, can you find another outlet? Have a bubble bath. Eat a really good, healthy meal. Buy delicious ingredients that you might not normally treat yourself to, and eat it by candlelight. Buy a favourite magazine or even a new book, or go to the library and take out some Cooking Light magazines or something similar, to get new meal ideas. Go for a walk, or do some exercise that you really enjoy.

And if you really, really want chocolate, maybe get yourself some high quality good stuff, and put aside the time to eat it and enjoy it, in a small portion. Don't just buy a bar of regular stuff, get the great stuff and eat it slowly and savour it. Or realize that it's just chocolate. It doesn't necessarily have the power to make you feel better. It's not magic, although it can be delicious.

Good luck. *hugs*

CharlieBaby · 03-22-2010, 09:15 AM

...my Weight Watchers leader said tea was okay to count as some of your water intake. Are you worried about caffeine? Because some of the caffeine free tea is just as lovely as the regular tea.

paris81 · 03-22-2010, 09:18 AM

Yeah, tea is just fine--if you put sugar or milk in it, then you just have to count them into your daily total.

I have no other advice to offer you regarding the rest (more important!) part of your post. Just hoping you feel better soon!

Nada · 03-22-2010, 09:19 AM

Why can't you have tea?

And deprivation CAN get you down. Would you be able to have very small portions of something you like? Say a square of 70% or better chocolate. I can take a Ghiridelli square (55 kcals), break it into 8-10 peieces and savor it for a looooong time. And if I hadn't given up chocolate for Lent, I'd be looking forward to that as my afternoon treat.

Some folks evidently binge if they try to have any treat, but if you can handle it I think it's better not to deprive yourself all your favorite foods.

CurlyWurly · 03-22-2010, 09:29 AM

Thank you for taking the time to write such a helpful reply. I know you are right. The other day realising that I was CHOOSING not to eat certain foods made me feel in control and empowered... now it makese me feel miserable! D'oh.

I used to have an addiction (I'd rather not say what), and particularly when I was down I would do this thing that I was addicted to... anyway I think I replaced that with food so I associated feeling down with needing to eat and that making me feel better! I guess in a way I swapped one addiction for annother. I know food is not really addictive but to me it feels it. It really does feel like breaking an addiction.

I guess maybe like you suggested I should find something else that makes me feel better? To replace food with? But something that is not harmful to my body...

When I was a teenager I lost weight really successfully, and I used running for stress releif. I'd just hit the road and GO. It felt so good. Now I have children that's not really possible (aside from the fact I'd probably only get 10 strides in before collapsing in a winded pile upon the pavement!). I can go for a walk but it's not quite the same. It doesn't make me feel the same.

It would be awesome to be able to replace eating to make me feel good with exercise, but I'm a bit limited to what I can do with three babies at home. I wish I had room for a treadmill!

Anyway thanks for the advise... Sorry for rambling! I will put some thought into what I could replace food with that will make me feel good but not be harmful to me

Dippy Chip · 03-22-2010, 09:31 AM

What's wrong with a cup of tea?

I drink gallons of tea and it's never slowed down my weight loss. I count the milk calories, and luckily I don't take sugar. But if you can't take it without sugar (or think you can't) you should cut down on the sugar and slowly try to eliminate it. I used to have 2 sugars in each cup of tea and I NEVER thought I'd be able to enjoy tea without sugar, but now I can't bear it with sugar in. And everyone I've known who has cut sugar from their tea says the same thing. It just takes a little perseverance in the early days.

A nice cuppa and a square of Green and Black's Maya Gold can nip all those feelings of deprivation in the bud and make you feel like you're being totally decadent!

CurlyWurly · 03-22-2010, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nada

Why can't you have tea?

And deprivation CAN get you down. Would you be able to have very small portions of something you like? Say a square of 70% or better chocolate. I can take a Ghiridelli square (55 kcals), break it into 8-10 peieces and savor it for a looooong time. And if I hadn't given up chocolate for Lent, I'd be looking forward to that as my afternoon treat.

Some folks evidently binge if they try to have any treat, but if you can handle it I think it's better not to deprive yourself all your favorite foods.

I don't have any self-control to eat in moderation. If I have chocolate or anything like that in the house I have to eat it, and I even find it hard to walk past in supermarkets. I do all my shopping online now and refuse to buy chocolate so that it's not in the house for me to binge on.

I've not cut tea out alltogether. I have cut down to 2 cups a day (one in the morning and one at night) but since I like it heavy with milk and 2 sugars I figured I ought to cut down the other 4-5 cups a day I was drinking! lol

serendipity907 · 03-22-2010, 09:57 AM

You could try drinking green tea

They do all kinds of flavors which keeps it interesting, it's caffeine free and it's not the kind of thing you need to add milk or sugar to

It's also full of antioxidants etc!

gardenerjoy · 03-22-2010, 09:58 AM

If you think exercise would help, you might try videos. There are free ones on line at places like exercisetv.tv or you can get them at the library.

I think those of us with addictive tendencies do get addicted to overeating and, as you know, addictions are very difficult, but not impossible, to control. Sometimes I feel like the best we can do is swap one addiction for another. I'm finding that the new "addiction" is somewhat less controlling than the old one, so that's not as despairing as it sounds. For me, putting some of that obsessive energy into exercise, romance novels, and (on really bad days) computer games is working. Since you are home with kids, perhaps you could get a little obsessive about being the best mom you can be? You know, read some books, research on the internet, and try out what you learn with your kids?

You might try herbal tea. You can get all kinds of strong flavors that don't need anything added to them and would still get you a hot cup of something. My grandmother used to drink hot water -- I've tried it occasionally and it's not as bad as it sounds!

CharlieBaby · 03-22-2010, 10:05 AM

CurlyWurly, I have one suggestion that you may want to consider.

It's wasteful, though.

Really wasteful.

I used to go to McDonald's all the time. This is not an exaggeration. For about six months, I ate there almost every day. The guys behind the counter would see me come in and have my order ready by the time I got to the til. When I finally decided to eat less McD's, I didn't think I was ready to go cold turkey. So I would choose to eat half. I would enjoy half of my meal and then throw the rest in the trash. It was a costly way to cut back, and I'm not suggesting it's for everyone, but if you really, really want some chocolate, and don't trust yourself to a whole bar, maybe you can buy a bar and give most of it away to a friend. Or buy a small sample sized bar - some places sell good quality chocolate in really small quantities. Or buy a small bar and break some of it off and throw the rest away if you are certain you won't be able to resist it. I just know how hard it is to say goodbye to certain foods altogether. It makes dieting, or this new way of life, feel like a punishment. When really, it should feel more like a reward (feeling better about yourself, fitting into clothes you love, having more self-confidence - that's a HUGE reward.)

Also, in case you feel like "I could never drink tea without sugar!" - i used to take it with milk, and about six sugar packets. And then I switched to using Splenda instead of sugar, when I started Weight Watchers. And then I didn't enjoy the taste of that so I cut out sugar, and I still enjoy tea. Congratulations on cutting back so much and sticking with it!

Again - it WILL get easier.

CJZee · 03-22-2010, 10:23 AM

Regarding the chocolate -- I buy high quality sugarless baking cocoa and mix it into Fage Greek yogurt with a little Splenda. It's wonderful for a chocolate fix.

Nada · 03-22-2010, 10:31 AM

CharlieBaby, I think you may be on to something. In the past when I have deprived myself it may have been because I wanted to punish myself for getting so fat inthe first place. "Dieting" was supposed to be hard, I was not "supposed" to eat food that was delicious; I was "supposed" to do exercises I didn't like because I had been a "bad girl".

When I let go of that thinking and started rewarding my body with fun activity and healthy, delicious food in sensible portions, I was able to stay with it more than 3 weeks.

CharlieBaby · 03-22-2010, 10:41 AM

Regarding the '3 babies at home' issue - is it possible to get all 3 of them outside? Or one or two while the other one or two naps? I have a 2 1/2 year old, 50% of the time (He's not my child, I live with his dad, and his mama has custody 50% of the time). When we've got the kiddo, and we want to exercise, we load him into a wagon and go for a walk. Or I chase him and the dog around the yard. Or I do yoga with an online video while he naps (his naps are growing shorter and shorter - it's terrifying). Now...I'm not sure how I'd manage if I had 3 little ones underfoot, but I know there must be ways around it. We just need to think of them. Do you have the option of getting up early and getting a walk or jog (you said you used to run, I bet it would come back to you faster than you think) while the kids are still sleeping? Can you get a babysitter or a friend you wouldn't have to pay, to watch the kids while you go work out? Can you load all three of them into strollers or a wagon and go for a walk? I think it's great when kids see their parents being fit and active, so including them on the activity might be a great idea.

Just do the best you can, with what you're given. That's all you can ask of yourself.