[jkinboston89]

I'm really really sad. I've been close to my grandma since I was little. She's been very sick all of her life. She went into the hospital Friday night but was doing better, we all thought she had a stomach bug but she seemed to be improving. They were literally about to release her and all of her tests seemed ok. However yesterday, all of a sudden, her heart just stopped She was 71.

I went to the hospital and saw her after she had passed and now I'm thinking that it may have been a bad idea to actually see her, not moving or breathing or talking or anything. She was just gone. It almost doesn't feel real.

I feel so bad for my father and my grandfather, my little sister. I also feel an immense sense of guilt for not calling more etc. I know that the guilt I feel is silly because I just saw her on Monday but.. I dunno.

Her funeral is either tomorrow, which means I'll miss the first day of either 1 or 2 classes for this semester. I'm the type of student that never misses classes, especially during the first week. So now I also feel guilty that I'm concerned about missing classes when I should really NOT be thinking of my own selfish issues.

Right now they're doing an autopsy because they don't understand why she died. I don't know what to make of that. It's possible that the nurse that was taking her blood let an air bubble in, because not 10 minutes earlier did she have her blood drawn. I dunno.

Anyway, I just wanted to let it out and get some support. My eating has been the same as always, and before I found out the news, I went for a run but planned on working out more later in the day, which never happened because I was with family and stuff. Today I need to find time to work out, just to keep it going and stay in the habit. I'm trying to not feel too sorry for myself.

Anyway, any kind words would help me. I feel like now there's one fewer people in this world to love me, if that makes any sense. I know that normally, I could call her and tell her something like that, but I can't. It's difficult to get used to.

[erinkman1]

I am very sorry to hear about your grandma. Prayers are with you and your family.

[babygrant]

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma.

[CLCSC145]

I'm so sorry! Losing someone we love is never easy. Do go to the funeral though and don't worry about your classes. You can catch up on what you miss in school, but saying goodbye to someone you love is so important.

[chels38]

i lost my memaw in 05 to alzheimers and my grandma is now in the late stages of it. i completely understand the silly guilt you are having to deal with..completely!!!!

but you also have to realize the silly part of it. and you also have to remember all of the times you all were able to share with each other. not too long ago i talked my best friend to sleep just recollecting memories of me and my gma...going to see the ducks, watching the airplanes land, going to the macys and trying on all the perfume just to go back out to the car for my gdaddy waiting on us (asleep, usually) it helps.

grieving is natural and expected. but then, all of a sudden you will just kind of realize that you are no longer grieving, you just miss them. the missing is natural too..and you will always miss them. but remember all of the good times! no one can take them away! were all here for you {huggss}

Im so sorry to hear about your grandma passing. Take it easy, Im sure she's looking down on you and is so proud of who you have became. Its hard to lose a loved one and were all here if you ever want to talk more about how your feeling

[maenad]

I am so sorry about your Grandma. I know how you feel. I lost one of my Grandmothers a few years back. I remember feeling very guilty for not calling as much as i should have. You have to just let go. Don't worry about missing your classes, you can always talk to the professors and get the syllabus later in the week.

[PeanutsMom704]

so sorry for your loss.

[Heather]

My condolences on your loss!

As a college professor myself, I would advise that you email the professors BEFORE you miss class. It is much easier for them to know ahead of time. Plus, it might save other headaches. At my school, if I have a waitlist, and a student neither contacts me ahead of time about an absences nor shows up on the first day, I can drop the student and add the waitlisted one.

Writing first allows them to know how conscientious you are, and they may also give you some information or handouts you'd miss on the first day.

Good luck.

[CanadianCutie]

I'm sorry about your Grandmother. It is clear she was and is very loved. Keeping the love is what keeps the memory alive.

[Aunty Jam]

I am so sorry to hear about your Grandma I'm also really close to mine. Remember to take care of yourself, I agree that saying goodbye is very important, you will need the closure for your own health.

[CD3]

I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy to loose one we love and it's harder yet when it's a sudden loss. It sounds like your keeping on the right path, eating right and trying to be sure you get in exercise. Be patient with yourself.
Remember that just because you can't see her anymore doesn't mean she's not with you. I find myself talking to my grandma to this day - she passed about 6 years ago. I can't see her but I find myself thinking about things she would've said in a certain situation & I find that I smile more times than not.
Hugs & prayers

[Cali Doll]

Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry! Your grandma's love is still very much with you. I'll be praying for your family.

**HUGS**

[ToriLeigh]

I'm so sorry about your grandmother. I lost mine in October to Alzheimer's, so I know how tough and almost surreal it is. Don't worry about classes, just let your professors know, they will understand. Be with your family during this tough time and remember what a wonderful woman she was. My prayers are with you and your family.

[HealthierLori]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family during this time of grieving.