Everyone's posting their boy issues lately, so here's mine (sorry, long):
So Friday night I meet this guy at a party and he asks for my number. We haven't talked THAT much but he seemed nice and funny so I figured what the ****. Very shortly after that he had to go because his DD was leaving. The next hour and a half went as follows
text: "Hey I had to go because my ride was leaving, but I'm not ready to go to bed so I think you should come over and hang out "
text: "Only 3 miles away "
At this point I don't want to go by myself because I'm afraid there will be, well... expectations. But I don't want to tell him I don't want to come over and have him think I'm not interested. So I decide to not respond, thinking I'll text him in the morning along the lines of "bummer, I was already in bed, didn't get your text til now."
text: "This is [name] btw. I really thought you were hot"
text: "look, I wanna hook up with you, but if you don't respond, this d**k is going elsewhere."
At this point I'm sooooooo glad I didn't go over there.
call (I don't pick up) voicemail: "Hey this is [name] call me back at #"
text: "I hope you haven't taken any of the last texts sent seriously. My roommate had my phone captive"
Plausible, I know how roommates can be. But I'm weary of him now.
text: "I do find you interesting and want to get to know you"
text: "he's just an a**hole and tried to force the issue"
The issue of me coming over or the issue of sex? Because I just met the guy and sex shouldn't BE an issue yet.
text: "I do hope we can get together and I can get to know you. I find you very interesting"
He sent ALL these texts without getting a single response from me. That's a lot of one-sided conversation. That's REALLY intimidating to me. So I talked to my friend today who kinda knows this guy, and his roommate. She says he's really cool and was probably telling the truth about the rude text being his roommate. And she says that the amount of texts was probably just from the combination of alcohol and his roommate egging him on.
I don't know if my being put off by all this is just good sense, or if it's me being scared and running away. Because that's what I do when guys are interested in me, I look for excuses to NOT date them. Thoughts?
I would steer clear if it were me. Have you ever seen those guys that go completely crazy and send all of those texts and stalk people? And the sex thing is just weird.
If he seeks you out and apologizes it's one thing, but I wouldn't go over there and hang out at least not without someone else with me.
Edit: Oh and another red flag. Your friend only kind of knows him, that doesn't inspire tons of confidence. I wouldn't go without someone else.
If I were you, I would give him a chance. I (of course) wouldn't go to his place alone with him for quite a few dates (just in case). I would go out to dinner with him or a movie... or to play pool - since it's very public. Something like that. I always give people the benefit of the doubt and he was probably sending you so many after he got his phone back to try and convince you it wasn't him. I'd give him a shot (in public ).
well he did pass on his apologies for blowing up my phone through a friend. But I still am unsure of whether I want to take this forward. And I don't know if my reservations are really about him or if it's just me being scared. On the one hand, the texts were REALLY over the top. On the other, we all come off bad/make a fool of ourselves sometime.
In my experience, the boys who act that dumb when they're drinking are still pretty dumb sober - they just hide it better. I'm just saying this from my life experience...I wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole. That's too much drama too fast - alcohol/nosey friends or no.
Personally, I'd give the guy a chance.. in public (as another chick has already said). Your friend knows him a little so hopefully she'd have heard about it if he's a total creep. You'll get a better sense of what kind of a guy he is after hanging out with him somewhere public.
I would steer clear if it were me. Have you ever seen those guys that go completely crazy and send all of those texts and stalk people? And the sex thing is just weird.
If he seeks you out and apologizes it's one thing, but I wouldn't go over there and hang out at least not without someone else with me.
Edit: Oh and another red flag. Your friend only kind of knows him, that doesn't inspire tons of confidence. I wouldn't go without someone else.
I agree with this. That's a lot of unsolicited texts. What would make me leery about all of it is that I don't know for sure if his friend hijacked his phone and the possibility that he may not have makes it all a little more odd, kwim?
I'd say somewhere public AND sober. I liked the idea of playing pool. See what he's like then. If he's still setting off any warning bells what so ever, cut him lose.
ugh. He sounds like such a douche. He obviously sent all those texts to you. The blame he laid on his roommate is cause when you didn't respond he got scared at your reaction and tried to cover his ***.
ugh. He sounds like such a douche. He obviously sent all those texts to you. The blame he laid on his roommate is cause when you didn't respond he got scared at your reaction and tried to cover his ***.
I really don't what I would do though- I would probably just steer clear... listen to your vibes!
Is it bad that his texts, while completely inappropriate, made me giggle a little? If so, I humbly apologize.
As someone who HAS had a drunk person send multiple "please sex me" texts from their phone, I say give him a public, sober chance. If you still get creeper vibes from him, then cut him loose.
^^ I had to chuckle also lol, just reminds me of my guys friends. It's plausible.. I've been around my guy friends doing the same thing to each other, being drunk and messing with each other b/c they think its funny, scaring off a girl the other one met just for the sake of it.
I agree with giving him a second chance in a public and sober setting.. check it out for a minute and if he seems like someone weird enough to basically screw up any chances he had by sending bizarre, one-sided texts, just cut ties.
Last edited by Starrynight; 01-05-2010 at 01:56 AM.
I would steer clear--in the very least the guy sounds like he hangs out or chooses to live with a very immature person. Yikes if he actually DID send the text.
I really believe that we are treated the way we ALLOW ourselves to be treated. Do you really want a new relationship to begin like THIS?
By the way--he has a record of the texts you received. No where in the dialougue above do I see him apologizing for his roomies actions or responding in a HORRIFIED fashion about the occurence. Yep, steer clear.
In my experience, the boys who act that dumb when they're drinking are still pretty dumb sober - they just hide it better. I'm just saying this from my life experience...I wouldn't touch him with a 10 foot pole. That's too much drama too fast - alcohol/nosey friends or no.
YES, YES, YES! Way too many HIGH QUALITY FISH (the wild-caught with lots of Omega 3) out there! Go catch one of those!!!! Don't settle for the local trash fish. They aren't good--not even for frying.
Another thread seeking boy advice
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