I have a hard time dealing with these. I've gotten several at work, from older co-workers(I'm 18).
Here's the thing. I deny it basically. If they ask me, I go "Not really..." or "I don't think so? Maybe I got taller!" Even though I know full well I've lost 18 pounds. I just don't like admitting to something like this; I don't want them to see me any differently. As well, I find myself thinking inwardly "AHA! You thought I needed to lose weight! You thought I was fat before!" Even though there is absolutely nothing malicious in their comments.
Is this normal? How do you react to comments about your weight loss??
edit: wow, I meant lost and not lose in the title. haha.
Last edited by summerlove; 12-07-2009 at 01:22 PM.
I can relate. I've gotten tons of comments about weight loss, from all kinds of people. I've lost over 70 lbs, so the change is noticeable. It makes me laugh when someone says "Wow, have you lost weight?", because I sometimes just want to say "No, why do you ask???" I mean, of course I lost weight, it's painfully obvious compared to what I looked like 70 pounds ago! LOL. Anyway....at first I was a little uncomfortable, but then I started to really thrive on being complimented about my weight. And now, I really don't get so many comments anymore because people are getting used to my new size. And I kinda miss those comments! So try to enjoy the positive attention.
You know, the thing that bothers me more is when people start to ask how I did it. It's like they want to hear me say I did some crash diet, starved myself, or something negative. But instead, I tell them I just am eating much healthier and exercising regularly. Pretty boring really..common sense stuff, but it's worked for me. And almost every time it seems like the person is semi-disappointed that I didn't say something more radical. I don't know if they wanted to hear a quick-fix that they could use for themselves or if they were hoping I did something drastic that I wouldn't be able to maintain. Anybody else felt like this??? I feel like many people are watching to see if I'll slip up and gain it all back. Or maybe I'm just paranoid???? LOL.
Congrats on your weight loss so far....and try to enjoy the feeling that others are noticing your hard work!
Be gracious- react positively- just smile and say "thanks for noticing- I have lost some weight!"
I love the compliments
I think when people ask half the time they want a quick fix. A lot of my co-workers are fitness nuts so they all nod when I say I've changed my eating habits and I work out more. The ones I notice who seem disappointed ARE the ones who go on fad/crash diets than eat like crap again.
Not yet, but it's something I'm really looking forward to. Most of the people I see regularly already know that I'm eating healthier and exercising more so instead of asking a question they already know the answer too... What I'm looking forward to is next Christmas. If I can maintain, I'll be much closer to goal by Christmas 2010 and I'll be in NC which means I'll likely see my grandmother, who I haven't seen since my high school graduation about five years ago. And, quite frankly, I'm going to throw it in her face.
... She basically told me at my graduation that I was a bright girl but that no one would ever take me seriously because of my weight. XD
A simple "Thank you!" is often enough. It is very hard to do if you aren't used to compliments so practicing this is a good way to start. If you practice, it will feel natural. Weight loss is a really visual thing so to think that people aren't going to notice isn't really practical. I think maybe people are trying to be supportive and encouraging so "Thank you!" is enough to acknowledge what they are trying to say. Isn't it nice though when your work is noticed? Nothing more annoying than working hard and no one noticing!
I love the compliments, but when it comes right down to it, the compliments embarrass me, so I understand! I can't wait for someone to notice, and then when they do, I want to hide under a rock.
Last Thursday I had a good three inches cut off my hair. Today, the school nurse blurted out in a meeting "You cut your hair! I've been staring at you through the whole meeting wondering what it was that was different. That's it! You cut your hair!" Yes...and I've lost 15 lbs!! But I didn't say that.
A simple "Thank you!" is often enough. It is very hard to do if you aren't used to compliments so practicing this is a good way to start. If you practice, it will feel natural. Weight loss is a really visual thing so to think that people aren't going to notice isn't really practical. I think maybe people are trying to be supportive and encouraging so "Thank you!" is enough to acknowledge what they are trying to say. Isn't it nice though when your work is noticed? Nothing more annoying than working hard and no one noticing!
It's not practical, true. I guess I'm still just in denial about the fact that people notice stuff like this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eliana
I love the compliments, but when it comes right down to it, the compliments embarrass me, so I understand! I can't wait for someone to notice, and then when they do, I want to hide under a rock.
Last Thursday I had a good three inches cut off my hair. Today, the school nurse blurted out in a meeting "You cut your hair! I've been staring at you through the whole meeting wondering what it was that was different. That's it! You cut your hair!" Yes...and I've lost 15 lbs!! But I didn't say that.
Exactly! I know I shouldn't feel embaressed, but I don't like saying "Oh, yeah I did!" I guess I don't like being the center of attention
I like it when people I know compliment me and notice the change.
When it is strangers who compliment me, I feel uncomfortable. I was at an airport terminal and a young janitor hits on me..
"do you know you are gorgeous"...
talk about awkward. I really don't like male attention because I am extremeley self-conscious around strangers. This doesn't stop me from dressing up but I dress up for me lol...so I like it when my friends/family/bf tell me I look good.. but I hate male attention
I feel embarassed too. Not that I dont appreciate looking different and that people generally have very good motives behind saying them, its just that I feel like I am being scrutinised, my body is being scrutinised, and Im quite a private person who still has some issues liking their body
Oh my god! Nice to know I'm not the only one!!!!!
When I started getting compliments on my weight, at first I denied it. I was SOOO embarrassed and just wanted to curl up in a ball and have them go away. I would stammer things like "No, I.. I don't think so," or "Maybe... but I hadn't noticed" and such, anything to make them stop. I know this was a bad tactic, because it probably made them feel awful, like they complimented me and I denied it, which meant they probably then felt like they had called me fat because of it.
So I started making myself just say "Thank you" and acting bashful.. it's the next step I guess. I also say things like "Yes, I've lost a little," which allows me to admit that I HAVE lost weight but retain my bashfulness.
At first I HATED the attention, but over time I've come to appreciate more. Now I just feel (a little embarrassed but) proud about it. I think it's just something you get used to over time. You can't escape the compliments, so it's better to find a positive way of dealing with them.
I'm horrible at accepting compliments at all, let alone for weight-loss. One of my sisters "yelled" at me the other day for denying how much weight I've loss, since she knows the actual number.
Honestly, I'd rather people just didn't notice I weigh anything and then not be able to notice when I then lose weight.
What I hate more than the "what are you doing?!" questions is the "how much more do you have to lose" question. Saying "oh, 60 lbs or more" lets people know that I was heavier than they would most likely predict in the first place. Plus, I feel like its borderline asking me how much I weigh now, because math is easy
i got only a few comments on my weight loss so far - i am very much overweight, so it is less noticeable (especially since i'm losing a pound a week), and i actually try my best to hide my weight loss because i don't really want people to notice.
why? because i feel awkward when they not only say something, but if i agree and thank them, they don't stop there, they ask how, why, lalala. basically, it actually makes me feel... well, ashamed, I guess.
also, i think i'm afraid of failure. what if i fail and give up on my plan, how will i face the people who noticed?
so, every time someone notices, i deny it. hey, i'm a denier to!
or let's just say i'm being silly and not giving myself credit for my success!
It took about 30lbs lost before I really started getting people noticing and now people do it all the time (my customers are ALWAYS commenting) and I always smile and say "Yeah, I've definitely lost a couple!" and they are always happy for me. Some ask how I did it, and I always just reply with the true... healthy eating, some exercise. *shrug* I'm just not ashamed.... I'm proud of the fact that I lost and did it well! And for the most part... everyone seems glad for me! Although there IS a little part of me that goes "uh huh" inside when they comment on how I look "soooOoooOooo much better!"....
With my friends and family it's fine, even nice but when random strangers feel the need to comment on the shape and size of my body I'm filled with rage; silent, internal rage of course, after all I am British, but rage none the less. I wouldn't feel any less angry if they'd commented on weight gain; the size of my body is my own business.
I have one neighbour who's told me a couple of times that I'm looking 'well' and that's the only comment that I've really been comfortable with.
I'm horrible at accepting compliments at all, let alone for weight-loss.
+1
I've gotten quite a few comments, some elicited by my own remarks (like about going clothes shopping, something many people think isn't my "thing"). The manners drilled in to me by my Catholic primary school have ensured that I smile and say "I have, thank you for noticing!" - but that's not entirely superficial, I do actually mean it!
On the other hand, I'm still dealing with so many self-image issues. Or perhaps it's just one issue that's pretty big? I seem to have a kind of amnesia when I look in the mirror: I don't remember what I looked like, so I can't tell if my body's changed (although HELLO ONE DOES NOT LOSE THE BETTER PART OF THREE STONE WITHOUT IT CHANGING ONE, SALSA).
I take more care with my appearance now - today I went to work with both a bit of make-up on and some cute earrings in - but it's like I'm trying to convince myself of something (I'm not entirely sure what) I'm not really sure of in the first place.
It's like a great big stack of simultaneous equations in too many unknowns.
But the majority of people who see me and compliment me on my weight loss don't know all of what's going on backstage. I'm not about to raise that curtain to just anyone. As far as "the public"'s concerned, something's changed in me, I've lost lots of weight and I look much healthier. 'Twould be a bit churlish to ignore the roses and not curtsey
Last edited by salsa chip; 12-07-2009 at 04:28 PM.
"Have you lost weight?" comments
" or "I don't think so? Maybe I got taller!" Even though I know full well I've lost 18 pounds. I just don't like admitting to something like this; I don't want them to see me any differently. As well, I find myself thinking inwardly "AHA! You thought I needed to lose weight! You thought I was fat before!" Even though there is absolutely nothing malicious in their comments.
Yes...and I've lost 15 lbs!! 
But I didn't say that.
