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Old 12-07-2009, 06:38 AM   #1  
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Arrow Interesting Conversation with an Always Thin Man

I mentioned on another thread recently that I was in the midst of planning an engagement party for my daughter. Well my husband and I went to see the caterer last week, a very friendly, VERY slim man in his upper 30's, and while discussing the menu, my DH mentioned that I was very health conscious, I cook amazing low calorie, healthy foods all the time (how cool is that?), he even asked for my salad recipes and I gave several of them to him. He tells me how health conscious his wife is, in fact she just had a baby and 6 weeks later, 6 WEEKS LATER, she's down to her old slim self, they have a treadmill in the home and she sees a personal trainer 3 times a week, he was even complaining about the cost (though not the results).

It then comes up how slim he is and he mentions how he eats like, his words - "A PIG, A PIG, A PIGG!!", (yes he was shouting this at me). And I tell him, "it's impossible, just impossible." He says he has a great metabolism, although it's slowed down a bit, that he REALLY used to be skinny (I can't imagine him weighing any less ).

Okay. He continues to say eats like a pig. I'm refusing to believe it - me being me - I delve. He says, "Oh yeah, I can sit down in the kitchen (the catering kitchen) and devour 3 chicken bottoms and 2 potato bourrekas (knish-like, mashed potatoes in puff pastry dough) in a matter of minutes." Not that that's unheard of, but I say, "but I bet you do that once in a while, maybe twice a week". And sure enough, he says, "yup, twice a week is about right". And I said, "I bet you're one of those that forgets to eat till 3:00 in the afternoon", and he says, "yeah, that's true too, sometimes, later." And I said, "I bet you can barely look at most of the food you prepare", and he says, "yeah, I haven't in years." And I said, "I bet you hit that treadmill first thing in the morning every day", and he said, "oh yeah, everyday, first thing in the morning, always have, always will".

There you have it. What one skinny man describes as "eating like a pig". At least he didn't say "I eat whatever I want." Although essentially it would have been the same thing. He just doesn't *want* all that much. Not that that's how I would have ever wanted to be slim, but it would have beaten how *I* ate like a "pig" back in the day.... 3 chicken bottoms and 2 potato bourekas - ha. Interesting, no?

Last edited by rockinrobin; 12-07-2009 at 04:50 PM.
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Old 12-07-2009, 07:28 AM   #2  
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Robin, in speaking with my naturally slim friends I've determined that they generally exercise regularly and are naturally able to self regulate themselves when they overeat or purposely undereat to prepare for a larger meal or party. I wish that I was one of them that it all came to naturally to. But I still need to plan and really listen to my hunger.
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Old 12-07-2009, 08:01 AM   #3  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by losermom View Post
Robin, in speaking with my naturally slim friends I've determined that they generally exercise regularly and are naturally able to self regulate themselves when they overeat or purposely undereat to prepare for a larger meal or party. I wish that I was one of them that it all came to naturally to. But I still need to plan and really listen to my hunger.
Oh, I'm with you.

But the thing that got me with this person, was that he really THINKS that he "eats like a pig". He didn't even realize that nothing could be further from the truth. He's going around telling people, when it comes up, that he does indeed eat like a pig and that he eats whatever he wants. And then people are bewildered as to why can't they be like that. Why can't they eat like pigs and whatever they want - AND still be slim? Well they could - if they defined it in the way the this man does...
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Old 12-07-2009, 08:42 AM   #4  
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It's all in the perception, isn't it? Just like when I used to say, "I don't eat that much, how can I be this big?"
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Old 12-07-2009, 09:40 AM   #5  
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Howdy,
I am hoping over time, and with the use of my apps (which makes calorie counting a breeze), that I will develop this habit of self regulating, even at 47 yrs of age.

Thanks for posting this dialogue.
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Old 12-07-2009, 10:53 AM   #6  
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Interesting Robin. It is amazing to get the skinny on being skinny from a skinny person!

I have one "naturally" thin friend who has never had a weight problem and I have really watched her over the years. I hear other people talk about her, (in a good way) how she can eat as much and whatever she wants and never gain weight, and it is absolutely true. First off she NEVER sits down. We lovingly call her "Thumper" because she's just always on the move. She doesn't "work out" she just NEVER sits down. I have patterned my exercise after her in a way. She does have an ice cream or a couple cookies...but she orders a single scoop or has just 2 cookies, (not a pint and a dozen like I did/can). She drinks regular pop, (not diet), but has one or 2 a week. (Not per day). We were at a local bar/grill with her family a while back and her and her dh split a steak dinner and ordered an extra dinner salad. She had one light beer, not a dozen like I would have had. She does eat whatever she wants...she just doesn't want that much. It's so awesome to know that "normal" really does exist.
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Old 12-07-2009, 11:13 AM   #7  
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My husband is one of those naturally thin men and the people at work joke about all his meals because he eats throughout the day. I was joking with him recently because he eats 2 dinners (he calls them dinner and supper). Since I cook fairly healthy, I usually have to give him extra food that I don't eat or larger portions. He didn't used to exercise every day but now he exercises most days, at least something light if anything. I'm not exactly sure how many calories he eats per day, I'd say 3,000 to 4,000. Of course every day is different.
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Old 12-07-2009, 11:16 AM   #8  
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Interesting post. Have you ever read the "The Hacker's Diet"? It was one of those things that I read when I first started on this journey. The author describes three different types of people: Skinny Stable Sam, Overweight Oscillating Oscar, and Bulky Blown-up Buster

Reading your post made me think of Skinny Stable Sam.

I found the Hacker's Diet an interesting read with many points that rang true to me. Of course, I never understood Skinny Stable Sam or your naturally thin man.
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Old 12-07-2009, 11:36 AM   #9  
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I liked that time2lose!

Nelie, I think the difference between your husband and the man I spoke with is that your husband really DOES eat a lot. But "my" man - doesn't. He just *thinks* he does - but I think he doesn't anymore. I think I really pointed out to him that he's not eating all that much.

Regardless, I'll never be like either one of these men.

Plan, plan, plan. Track, track, track, Plan, plan, plan. Oh and execute, execute, execute all that plan, plan, planning.

And LoriBell I was certainly never like your friend either, although I am more like her NOW. Occasionally, in very controlled settings, under certain circumstances. Though certainly not every day or even every week.

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Old 12-07-2009, 12:04 PM   #10  
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It's so true.

I was in a sorority in college and the girls all watched their weight (or so they claimed) but I would always see them "pigging out" when we were at social gatherings and I thought they ate like that all the time and I was envious.

Now that I look back .. I realize some of them skip eating ALL DAY for that gathering.... when we go out to eat.. they save half their food for "later"..

I have a 110 lb friend who claims she eats 2 Twix bars a day and can eat 1 pint of ice cream a day BUT I know she skips regular meals so she eats those treats as "meals"... she can't run on the treadmill longer than 5 minutes... she has no muscle mass... so a skinny unhealthy person.

I realized what people eat behind closed doors is a secret so I shouldn't assume anything.
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Old 12-07-2009, 01:30 PM   #11  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinrobin View Post
He really THINKS that he "eats like a pig".
He didn't even realize that nothing could be further from the truth.
He's going around telling people...that he eats whatever he wants.
And then people are bewildered as to why can't they be like that.
Why can't they eat ...whatever they want - AND still be slim?
Well they could - if they defined it in the way the this man does...
I really get this.
I remember that many years ago, when I was in the mid 200 lb ranges,
I admired a petitie colleague of mine.
She was (like me) about 5'0"tall, but tiny, probably not more than 100 lbs.
She was about 10 years older than me.
I had just read some diet book that told me to find out what a naturally thin person does and then imitate that behavior.
I had been watching her at luncheons and social events etc.
When I saw her, she ate almost nothing.
So one day I asked her about her normal food and exercise.
She told me, and
I was amazed that any healthy person could eat so little food.
Privately, I thought her behavior was strange enough for her to be an alien creature.

She did not participate in any formal exercise or sports.
She knew nothing about calories, and had never counted them
or been on any kind of diet.

Her breakfast was usually an 8 oz glass smoothie made of skim milk, 1/2 banana, and brewer's yeast
(because she didn't like eating breakfast).
Her lunch was 1/4 to 1/2 sandwich with a small side salad.
Her dinner was about 2 oz roast chicken with a few bites of pasta or rice
and a small amount of veggies.
She didn't care for sweets, so only ate a bite or two of dessert...rarely.
She seldom snacked...because she didn't feel hungry between meals....

My calculations were that, on a normal day, she ate between 500 and 600 calories.
No health worries about eating less than 1200 calories etc, etc. etc.
in fact, no comprehension of calories at all.
She ate what she felt was nutritious food that she liked, in the amounts she wanted.

Now that I'm older, and also small, she frequently comes to mind,
when I am bemoaning my own metabolism.
To me 1000 calories a day seems like such a pitifully small amount,
but then I remember that I spent many years of my life
with binge days where I ate from 5000 to 10000 calories.

How much food I WANT to eat,
and my concept of what I SHOULD be able to eat
is based on truely distorted information...
both from my own history, my observation of most other people,
and from generalizations by nutritionists....
....which are primarily based on calorie stats which reflect an average of the needs of active, mid-sized, young females,
and don't reflect MY own actual needs.
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Old 12-07-2009, 01:45 PM   #12  
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This guys story doesn't surprise me - but it's certainly not the only story out there. I've known people with very different metabolisms and activity levels (probably every combination).

My dad was very slim most of his life, and really did have a hummingbird's metabolism. He'd eat several helpings at dinner, and almost every evening he'd have a a sleeve of oreos, half a dozen home-made cookies, or a pint or more of ice cream.

He was a bread delivery guy, and never took a lunch, because every day someone on his route - the school cafeteria ladies, the restaurant cooks... would gift him lunch and treats. The way he talked, it didn't sound like he ever turned anyone down (that's how he ate at home, too).

At home he wasn't very active, but I know his job was very strenuous. Sometimes the guys had to load their own trucks, and in the early days their trucks were neither air-conditioned nor heated. He'd been raised on a farm, so was used to heavy labor.

My brother was also a huge eater, yet extremely thin - even lankier than my dad. He tried in high school to "bulk-up," because he wasn't just thin, he was scrawny. Every day for breakfast, he'd eat a mixing bowl of cereal (not the smallest mixing bowl). It wasn't at all unusual for him to eat a box of cereal and half a gallon of milk for between breakfast and snacking (and he still ate regular meals).

Retirement caught up with my dad - only after retirment did he start putting on weight (he never gained any weight in his face, arms, or legs - he just started looking pregnant). He's managed to get most of the weight off (he's probably 10 lbs heavier than his youthful weight - though he's still in a health range at his highest weight he was never more than overweight).

My brother's retired/disabled military (navy) and only in his last few years in the military has he finally gained the weight he wanted to in high school. He's still at a healthy weight and muscle ratio. He finally has the "buff" body he wants (though with disability, he says he has been gaining some in the waist - his solution has been to cut starchy carbs and eat more protein. His wife says he's still a huge eater).

My grandmother ate very little, and was about 60 lbs overweight at her highest weight. She wasn't very active, and she had health issues that lowered her metabolism even further, such as severe arthritis, diabetes, hypothyroid and she was often on steroids due to asthma and emphysema (even though she never smoked).

Even though I've been morbidly obese or even fatter since grade school.
When I was young, I have to admit I had a high metabolism - just not high enough for my appetitie. I never tried to tell doctors that I didn't know why I was fat, or try to claim I "ate like a bird." I was just ravenously hungry all of the time, and didn't know why (and no one else could tell me why, either).

On the same calorie level that I now struggle to maintain my weight on - during many (actually most) times in my life I would (and did) regularly lose 8 - 9 pounds a week on (and up to 12 pounds on numerous occasions).

When I was younger, I assumed that the fat women who claimed they didn't eat much were all liars. I knew I was fat because I ate insane quantities of food, but couldn't seem to control the hunger. I suspected that if I could control the hunger, I could control my weight - but never found the key to controlling the hunger. Dieting meant being absolutely miserable - feeling like I was starving all of the time.

Ironically, when I finally found the key to controlling my hunger, my metabolism had collapsed. I eat probably 1/3 the calorie level, maybe even less - and the weight doesn't come off. Not only am I less active - I'm exhausted more of the time and my body temperature is a couple degrees lower. A lower body temperature takes fewer calories ot maintain (at it's not like that's under conscious control - I can choose to exercise more - I can't choose a higher body temperature).

The variances in metabolims are interesting, but I don't think any conclusions can be drawn from individual examples.

Last edited by kaplods; 12-07-2009 at 01:49 PM.
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Old 12-07-2009, 02:16 PM   #13  
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Kaplods, that's the thing. This man was telling me that the reason he was slim was because of his *metabolism*. But that has nothing to do with it. It's the fact that he just doesn't eat that much and he exercises. Metabolism - in this instance - has nothing to do with it.


How much food I WANT to eat,
and my concept of what I SHOULD be able to eat
is based on truely distorted information...
both from my own history, my observation of most other people,
and from generalizations by nutritionists....
....which are primarily based on calorie stats which reflect an average of the needs of active, mid-sized, young females,
and don't reflect MY own actual needs.

Bright Angel - so true! As another 5 footer I couldn't agree with you more. What I eat to maintain my weight doesn't make sense to most people. We without a doubt have got to figure it out for ourselves. There is nothing "average" about me and for me to follow preset guidelines would send me right back into obesity. There is no one size fits all plan. I wish that were more "out there" and more people would be aware of that.

Like Meg always says, we are all experiments of one.

Last edited by rockinrobin; 12-07-2009 at 04:35 PM. Reason: typo
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Old 12-07-2009, 03:00 PM   #14  
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Since June of this year I've been eating just once a day. At night when the bf and I can sit down for dinner after he gets home. Usually between 1-3 am, but then we go to bed around 6.

The first week was an accident. I was working on a project and I was really stressed. I can't eat when I'm stressed or I just get sick.

Anyway, I realized after a few days how much better I felt and how much more effective my workouts were. Plus I didn't feel bloated all the time so I continued it.

In July the bf and I went to a baseball game for his birthday. I decided to "cheat" and eat earlier since it was a special occasion. (The first one that came up since June.) Well, I ate some chicken fingers and felt awful the rest of the day. After that I've had no desire to cheat. I've gotten through every other special occasion including Thanksgiving without even WANTING to eat. And I only drink water and black coffee during the day.

It's also nice because most restaurants aren't open as late as I eat so I have to cook which means that the food is usually better for me. We sometimes have fast food (which is always open ), but only because the bf wants it. My body has figured out that since I'm only going to eat once a day it had better be FUEL. So my body craves healthier food now. There have even been times his fast food craving sounded downright gross to me, so I ate something else.

Just throwing that out there. I'm probably going to be scolded for sharing this, but it's working somehow. I weighed myself when I first joined 3FC in late September, but I have no idea what I weighed in June. I do know I was close to a 22 in jeans though, and now I'm wearing 14-16. I've lost a few pounds since September, just "not enough" so I haven't changed my ticker.

Sorry for the long post, but I felt I had to justify myself. The reason this ties in is because I mentioned it to a couple of different always skinny friends who I've seen TOTALLY pig out, like box-of-doughnuts-and-bucket-of-chicken-pig-out and they were like "Oh yeah, me too. I seldom eat until an hour or two before bed". I think we've been BSed our whole lives, ladies!
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Old 12-07-2009, 04:30 PM   #15  
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I think that this just proves, yet again, what we say around here at 3FC all the time...that everyone is different.

I have known many thinner folks who just eat less naturally, or self-regulate their intake better than I do...while they're eating the burger and fries at dinner, they're not eating much the rest of the day, or they're really really active and need the extra calorie intake to fuel that.

I have also known several thinner folks who eat as much food or more as I did at my heaviest weight. I've spent several days/weeks straight with these folks, so I saw what they were eating (one example is my step-father-in-law, who I've stayed with for a few weeks at a time), and it was easily 3000-4000 calories in an average day, more when something special was going on. These people were moderately more active than me at my heaviest (my SFIL walks the dogs each morning and did some yoga 3-4 times a week), but not enough to offset the intake by a mile.

There are many types of "naturally thin" people, each as unique as every one of us...All the more reason to remember that we're all experiments of one, and comparing to what other people do eat/can eat without gaining isn't productive. I know what I can eat without gaining, and I stick with that, no matter what other people can do.
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