[Iheartsushi418]

I promised my husband and my son (who is almost 4) that I wouldn't impose my lifestyle change on the two of them. Neither of them have a weight problem, so why should they have to "suffer" - was my thought.

That was before. This morning for breakfast I had to make two packages of bacon for the two of them. Now granted, they are both in love with bacon and it's pretty much their favorite food, but I felt guilty that I was serving this to my son. My husband is a grown man and can make his own decisions, but I do the cooking and I feel like eventually he would come around if healthy meals were his only option. But I realized I am not doing my son any favors by letting him have any thing he wants.

Do you impose the healthy eating plan on the rest of the family? How receptive are they? Did you do it gradually? How do you handle the whole thing?

[Bonnie+J]

hi!
when i first started my journey, i was doing it alone, and cooking seperate meals. my son and husband were having much higher calories and higher fat foods. but then i realised that if it wasnt ok for my body then it defintiely wasnt ok for my family. so i now serve the same food for everyone. i do bulk out their dinners with things like cheese and full fat versions of the food i eat, or i add more meat etc for them, but overall keep it healthy. the way i saw it, my son doesnt have a weight problem now, but he would if i kept feeding him the way i was.

i started the switch by making healthier versions of his favorites. making my own chicken nuggets with almond and wholegrain breadcrumbs coating instead of the fried version, home made fries made with herbs and spices, oven baked. spaghetti with a homemade vegetable sauce, homemade vegetable chili etc. and if i wanted him to try something new i would add it to a plate of something he was already familiar with, so he would be more open to it. 9 times out of ten he would try it and like it, so that broadened what i could give him.
once a week he goes to mcdonalds, and when he is in my moms house he gets cookies etc, nothing is forbidden, but everything in moderation.

as you pointed out, our husbands can make their own decisions, but its up to us to create a healthy relationship with food for our children. my attitude was if my husband didnt like it he could keep his opinions to himself while we ate as a family and then cook for himself. luckily, the same tactic i used with my son worked for my husband! now we all eat the same food, and are all much better for it.

i hope this helps.

[Lyn2007]

I don't "impose" my healthy eating on them but I do make usual meals in a healthier way. I make side dishes they like that arent super healthy and also sides that are veggies.

However, why 2 packages of bacon for one man and a 4 year old? That's more bacon than I make for 6 people at a meal (we make one package, so everyone gets 2-3 slices). I think it would be a good start to teach your child portion control. Show them the nutrition label, see what a "serving" is and that is how much he gets. I do this with my teens when we (rarely) buy cookies or ice cream; a serving is small and sometimes I allow then 2 servings but I make sure THEY know what a serving is and that they are getting TWO.

So, next time you have a bacon meal try that. Make half a package. Tell your husband you want to teach your child about nutrition. Over time you can try making leaner meats like turkey bacon or lean ham slices as a side. And then switch to even healthier meals.

It's our responsibility as a parent to teach our children. I know you'd feel bad if your son was 8 or 10 and having major weight struggles. Now's a great time to teach him!

[ANewCreation]

Yes, they will come around if all you serve are healthy meals. I do this at my house and it is amazing what my family will now eat. My youngest son loves the zucchini recipe I found a month ago. My husband now routinely eats whole grain pasta & bread. Salads are a standard at our house now. These are things they actually enjoy eating--especially with homemade dressings! I do supplement my meals with extra veggies but I have always done that. I love my veggies, them--not so much.

I did talk to my hubby and ask for his support. I have also started reading labels and sharing with him nutritional content--the good, the bad, and the ugly.

We're part time empty nesters but when the college kids are home for meals they know that I have to do things differently. I've talked to all of them and they are very supportive. In return, I've been know to order them take out pizza (which they eat in the man-cave/basement) on occasion. It's a balance of give and take.

I have tried a mix of improving the old standby's (for ex wholegrain pancakes instead of Bisquick) and introducing new foods. Everyone is allowed to rate them as keepers or non keepers. We often agree and I keep the things I know they will never eat for my lunches --my husband is never going to eat tuna or salmon for example.

Try tweaking what you're already doing. Instead of two packages of bacon try weaning them by serving them as little bacon as they will agree to with other foods. Perhaps a fresh fruit salad? Scrambled eggs? Wholegrain pancakes (made with wholewheat pastry flour and oats--pastry flour is lighter than reg ww flour)?

Try it and find a balance that works for you and your family. Trust me, if I can get my husband on board anyone can. He is a very picky eater, hates change and because of his excellent health, wt. and activity level he has no reason to change. But, he loves me and is willing to do it for a healthier wife. He's a good guy and I bet your guys are too.

[cfmama]

****'s ya I impose healthful eating on my family! I only GET one family and if I kill THEM with kindness then THEY are gone. And they are my reason for living so I take care of them!!!!!

Does that mean that they don't get the occasional treat? No. They do. That I don't partake in... but for the most part everyone eats reasonable portions of very healthful foods that will nourish both their bodies and souls.

Bacon as a once in a while treat is fine... every day? Not so fine.

Now I have three kids that are FIT. The girls dance 6 times a week minimum (PLUS nutcracker practice AND ballet exam extra practices) and swim etc. They are in NO danger of becoming fat... however here is where we set them up for a lifetime of being ABLE to make healthy food choices! This is the only time where we can actually control what they eat and I choose to make the most of it.

Give your child the gift of life. Seriously. I know this sounds strong and I'm sorry but I feel very strongly about it. You KNOW how to take care of yourself... teach your baby too! Now husbands? Mine eats the meals I make... and snacks unhealthily on his own. I can't change that I wish I could!!!

[kaplods]

Originally Posted by Iheartsushi418

I promised my husband and my son (who is almost 4) that I wouldn't impose my lifestyle change on the two of them. Neither of them have a weight problem, so why should they have to "suffer" - was my thought...

This morning for breakfast I had to make two packages of bacon for the two of them. Now granted, they are both in love with bacon and it's pretty much their favorite food...

I'm a little confused (I hope). By two packages, do you mean two full pounds? And your son is 4 (not 14)? And neither of them have a weight problem? (How much did the little guy eat?)


I love bacon. I always have. My husband REALLY loves bacon.

Even on Atkins - even at our highest weights (for me, nearly 400 lbs - for my husband, over 400 lbs) we've never eaten an entire pound of bacon (together, let alone one of us).


I don't mean to be critical, really. I'm just shocked.

Originally Posted by Iheartsushi418

why should they have to "suffer"

I think there's a big difference between forcing them onto your diet, and preparing/serving them a ginormous platter of fried pork fat (usually with so little meat, it's not worth mentioning).

Originally Posted by Iheartsushi418

I had to make two packages of bacon for the two of them.

My second question is why did you "have" to? Personally, diet or not - primary cook in a family or not - frying a pound (or two) of bacon is quite a bit of work. It certainly seems that even if you're the only one cooking in the family, that YOU would get to decide at least the amount of food you make for the family - and anything "extra" they want, they can learn to make themselves.

If your son really is 4 years old, and not 14 - then choosing what he eats isn't his responsibility - it's yours (and your husband's). Making sure a 4 year old is eating a healthy diet, isn't making him suffer in any way, it's just part of the job of being a parent.
__________________________


All that aside, I think that there's a big difference between imposing your diet on your non-overweight family, and making two full sets of meals. "Not diet," doesn't have to mean entirely unhealthy.

I think it makes more sense (if only for the cook's sake) to make the same basic meal for everyone, and expecting the non-dieters to eat larger servings, or may be an extra helping of a starchy side dish, or higher fat condiment options (perhaps using a full fat dressing or sour cream instead of low-fat).

When I first started dieting (and my husband wanted no part of it), I didn't tell him what was "diet" and what wasn't (because when I did, he either wouldn't try it, or would dislike it). When I made a healthy lasagna with lots of veggies and he said "I thought you were on a diet," I didn't tell him that the lasagna WAS diet, I just said "I had a taste for lasagna, so I'll just have a small piece." As long as I didn't tell him a dish was low-calorie, he would like it.

[kaybelle9]

I agree with what most others said here. A four year old doesn't know what he is and isn't supposed to eat and that is your job to teach him.

Don't look at food as something for them to suffer through. Look at it as a teaching tool. Good nutrition is just as important as reading and writing. Right now, you are teaching your child that you only eat yucky healthy foods if you need to lose weight.

My husband and 20 month old eat what I eat. Sometimes I will give them a little extra cheese, or maybe a little bigger piece of ham... but they eat what I make, and I hear no complaints! At 4 years old, YOU control what he eats, and if he throws a tantrum, then so be it. HE'S NOT STARVING. and IT'S OKAY TO INCONVENIENCE YOUR KIDS!

Talk to your husband about your concerns with his and your sons health. He may not be fat, but what's his cholesterol level?

[Lyn2007]

Originally Posted by kaplods

When I made a healthy lasagna with lots of veggies and he said "I thought you were on a diet," I didn't tell him that the lasagna WAS diet, I just said "I had a taste for lasagna, so I'll just have a small piece." As long as I didn't tell him a dish was low-calorie, he would like it.

Oh this is so ME TOO. I started small. Like making mashed potatoes. I cut back from using CREAM, to milk, to 2%, to skim, over time. I also cut back from a STICK of butter in a large pot of mashed potatoes to maybe a tablespoon. Cut the salt way back too. And now, I always make the taters with skim milk and a T of butter and they never noticed. They love em. I also started making nonfat gravy, lower fat meats in dishes, 2% milk cheddar, light sour cream, etc. They don't notice and they think they are eating their old favorites.

[nooch]

Originally Posted by kaybelle9

I agree with what most others said here. A four year old doesn't know what he is and isn't supposed to eat and that is your job to teach him.

Don't look at food as something for them to suffer through. Look at it as a teaching tool. Good nutrition is just as important as reading and writing. Right now, you are teaching your child that you only eat yucky healthy foods if you need to lose weight.

My husband and 20 month old eat what I eat. Sometimes I will give them a little extra cheese, or maybe a little bigger piece of ham... but they eat what I make, and I hear no complaints! At 4 years old, YOU control what he eats, and if he throws a tantrum, then so be it. HE'S NOT STARVING. and IT'S OKAY TO INCONVENIENCE YOUR KIDS!

Talk to your husband about your concerns with his and your sons health. He may not be fat, but what's his cholesterol level?

This is exactly what I want to post except this is about a hundred times more articulate. It's important to not equate good nutrition in appropriate portions with "suffering". And if you feel that you are suffering eating "diet foods", then maybe "diet foods"(and by diet foods I mean super-processed fat-free stuff and things of that ilk) aren't for you and you should just cook everyone a HEALTHY meal, and everyone should eat in appropriate portions. A lot of us are here today because we had no idea what healthy & appropriate portions were growing up, you know?

I mentioned this in another thread and most people seemed to disagree, but the reason so many grown people claim to hate vegetables is because of the pervasive notion that healthy food and vegetables are gross so you shouldn't like them. And we're taught this as kids (just look at all the commercials for things claiming to help you sneak vegetables into kids' foods without letting them know they're eating vegetables - what is WRONG with liking vegetables anyway?) and then we grow up refusing to eat vegetables and other healthy food because we think it's gross. Don't perpetuate the myth of "eating healthy=gross and uncool and suffering" with your kids!

[Iheartsushi418]

Thanks, I don't feel too beat up.

[elaine19]

I would just try to slowly move in more healthy foods for both hubby and son. It won't hurt them and in the long run, it will truly help them to be healthier happier people! And as far as telling your son no to some things, you probably already do this when her asks for too much candy or junk food right before dinner, you can use the same reasons when telling him that he has had enough of a food he loves... it is healthier if we only have them a bit at a time
Hope you ahve a great week, and keep up the good work!!

[Elladorine]

Originally Posted by nooch

I mentioned this in another thread and most people seemed to disagree, but the reason so many grown people claim to hate vegetables is because of the pervasive notion that healthy food and vegetables are gross so you shouldn't like them. And we're taught this as kids (just look at all the commercials for things claiming to help you sneak vegetables into kids' foods without letting them know they're eating vegetables - what is WRONG with liking vegetables anyway?) and then we grow up refusing to eat vegetables and other healthy food because we think it's gross. Don't perpetuate the myth of "eating healthy=gross and uncool and suffering" with your kids!

That is exactly what I've been thinking about lately. Those commercials drive me nuts! Are we actually conditioning our kids to hate vegetables and other healthy foods as they grow up? I can't even remember ever having a dislike for them, maybe it was more of a preference to have processed treats laden with fat and sugar. But if there was carrots, peas, corn, etc. on the table I certainly never complained (I was more apt to complain about the meat on the table, to be honest). Unfortunately I sorta forgot about actually liking healthy foods for a while after I became an adult as I wandered towards convenience food.

My old co-worker's husband (a bit younger than me) actually claimed to be highly allergic to all vegetables, hoping that would be the easiest way to get out of eating them! He later revealed he was never forced to eat anything he didn't like as a kid and thus had a very narrow, limited palette as an adult; mainly hamburgers and hot dogs!

But really . . . I wonder where the notion came from that healthy foods are about as flavorful as cardboard, that it's something to have to suffer through.

[myrrah]

Kids actually need higher fat, higher density food. I don't think bacon is a bad food for a child. I notice I have to cook very different foods for my growing children than for myself. The hard thing is not eating theirs! But don't fall into that 'yuppy malnutrition' trap of forcing a low fat, low cal diet on growing children. That is not what they need.

[megwini]

But why would kids need such unhealthy fattening foods? There are PLENTY of healthy fats too that would probably be far better for your body than bacon would (like avocado, for instance!)

[nikki]

The problem in my household isn't so much the meals ... it's the snacking that occurs afterwards. Whenever we finish up a healthy meal my husband and daughter go straight to the pantry for dessert. It has been a struggle just to get my husband out of the habit of buying fattening snacks and ice cream in bulk just because it is on sale (he has literally come back from a trip to the store with MULTIPLE cookie packages and pints of ice cream). My entire family has a serious sweet tooth and I'm losing the battle on this front. Since they don't have a weight problem they seem to think that it's perfectly fine for them, and for me to just sit and watch them snack. Grrrr. We've talked about it at length but I don't have the power to stop them.