Maybe someone else has posted about this before, I know I can't be the only one.
I binge on "healthy" food. Everything I eat is low fat or non-fat, sugar free, whole grain, organic. I don't eat high fructose corn syrup, I don't eat hydrogenated oils. I never eat candy, junk food, fast food - never. I never eat pork or red meat. I'm one of those hippie chicks that shop at Whole Foods and always buy the "right" and "good" food items. I always cook at home and don't eat out. I exercise 5 to 6 days a week. All my friends and family think I am this wonderfully healthy person. It's not true.
The problem is I eat enough food for an army in one sitting. Pints of fat free & sugar free ice cream, boxes of whole grain all natural cereal with fat free milk, I even binge on fat free yogurt. Sometimes I just overeat or eat more than is necessary, sometimes I eat so much I get physically ill. I will buy a package of vegan, whole grain, organic cookies that are 150 calories for one cookie - and eat the entire bag. I will find whole grain crackers and eat the entire box with hummus. It's insane. Like because it's healthy food I make it okay in my brain to binge. But it's still binging and I feel horrible.
Of course I can't lose weight and have gained. Because I am consuming too many calories. I'm just at this point where I feel I've read every self help book, where I've been in therapy for a hundred years, have tried every diet and while I have had weight loss success I'm gaing it back. Everyone was so proud of me for losing so much weight. I've gained over 30 pounds back since February and I feel like a failure. And I can't stop.
I found out last week I'm being laid off from my job, my two cats died within a month of each other, I have family issues but those are just lame excuses. Everyone has tough times, it's not like I am the only one - I can't let that make binging justified in my head. So frustrated.
if you are a healthy eater I have 2 thoughts, start with a big salad,there is a ton of volume and not a lot of calories with a non fat dressing,
2nd thought is weigh your food for portion control, buy smaller quantities in the market and journal, food for caories and see what you are really taking in and thoghts about why you are choosing the foods you are eating
lastly get out of the kitchen. put on your ipod and go for a LONG walk, exercise will curb your hunger and you will feel better moving.
welcome! Good for you for seeking help! I have been hanging out here for a couple weeks and I keep learning more and more by reading others' posts. Read and you will find yourself in other people's posts and it will help you understand yourself.
For me, I am realizing it really isn't about dieting or losing weight, it is about a compulsive need to overeat. It has nothing to do with how much I weigh, what size I am, or how healthy the food is--it is about feeling completely out of control and/or using food to help me feel better (or numb or whatever).
I am by no means an expert here, I am just starting my journey to being free of binges myself. I have yo-yo'd for years without ever getting to the bottom of my binging issue. I am now admitting I have a problem and I need help. So far what is helping is to have a food plan; an idea ahead of time of what I will eat. Write out what you plan to eat tomorrow and see if you can still with it.
Of course other things like portion control and not letting yourself get too hungry and all that help too, but they didn't get to the heart of the issue for me.
I can totally relate to you! I have binged on foods which I perceived as healthy, as if it did not count as much, because the food was healthy. There was an element of that. In excess however, it is still as harmful for me.
This goes particularly for *all* foods high in carbohydrates. Even if they are low in sugar, they are a trigger food for me and therefore had to be banned.
I don`t thnk everything you can buy in a health food shop is necessarily healthy. Wholesome foods are healthy, and even though their biscuits have better ingredients in them, they are still a highly processed food.
I no longer agree with fat free and sugar free being healthy. If a food is not naturally low in fat, I won`t buy it low fat. After years and years of eating non-fat yoghurt I still enjoy a 3% yoghurt so much! I have it plain, sometimes with honey - so it`s totally wholesome, yummy and very satisfying!
Many people are shocked to discover how easy it is to gain weight on healthy food. Maybe it isn't easy for everyone, but it certainly is easy for some of us!
I gained my weight on mostly healthy food. No white carbs, not even white potatoes. I didn't even realize I was eating so many calories and I was in denial about my weight gain.
I've found that I have to be very careful about starchy foods, and I have to strictly limit whole grains (brown rice, oats), winter squash, lentils & beans, yams, etc. If I don't my calorie totals zoom up *and* I crave more of them. If there's a pot of cooked red lentils around, it used to be hard for me to stop going back for more until it was all gone. I'm sure it still would be, but I don't let them hang around like that. I treat them as if they were dangerous (which they are to me). I give myself a small portion and after everyone else gets their share, I freeze the leftovers in portion controlled containers. (Freezing anything, even leftover birthday cake, in opaque containers works wonders for me!)
I also very rarely eat processed whole grain -- I stay away from whole grain bread or bagels, but I will eat controlled portion of wheat berries, brown/wild rice, quinoa, barley, or whatever grain I happen to have on hand.
I'd encourage you to count calories and bulk up your diet with brothy veggie soups, salads, cooked or raw veggies, and maybe cups of tea to help fill the empty spot that will be left when you cut back on starchy volume. Also, even though they are high in calories, trade out most of those starchy carbs and substitute in some portion-controlled healthy fats (almonds and other nuts, olives/olive oil, flax seed, salmon, tuna & other fatty fish or fish oil supplements, avacados, natural peanut butter, etc). If you eat some of these during or at the end of a meal of high volume foods, they add satiety (instead of triggering cravings like starchy carbs) and they are very important for your health.
ehabby, do you have a place you can lock your food? I have started locking up my cereal. My hubby has the key. If you don't live with anyone you could always leave your key at work each day. Anyway, I understand. Btw, good for you to get rid of the chemicals out of the diet. I have done the same on the most part. They have been gone from my childrens diets for three years.
Last edited by Thighs Be Gone; 10-21-2009 at 07:56 AM.
Thanks everyone for the info and tips. I just feel in a weird place right now and it's been so hard to measure my food, keep a food journal and do all the other things I have done in the past to deal with binging. It's like lately all I can manage is to eat healthy and that alone is all the effort I can muster. Well, I am being consistent with exercise so that's good. My goal has been 30 to 45 minutes of fast walking 6 days a week and so far, so good.
Also, it's like when your binge foods are fairly normal everyday healthy items, it seems so hard NOT to have trigger foods around. It's easy for me to not keep candy/junk food around but when I ban all bread, dried fruit, whole grain cereal, etc. from my home I start to feel so deprived. Ugh.
Frustrated "healthy" binge eater
